Excerpt from Assistant producer's diary: Ok, I can do this... I can do this... deep breaths... calm... I AM SOOO EXCITED!!! I cannot believe I get to work with Director X!! This is a production of a lifetime! Sure, the director did yell at all the production staff a bit but that was just because we didn't get the special shipment of fancy truffles in time. And probably because the head carpenter's pet pig carried off her handbag and ate the expensive hand cream... I'm sure it will all go well tomorrow when we leave for our first location shoot... Ooooh must pack my swimming stuff, I hear there is a beach! Ok. Must write very professional, official-sounding e-mail to cast and crew now. (Digs around in shelf for pen...) Oooh, there is the missing box of chocolate that our star actress requested. Wonder how it got here... Is that a pig hoof print on the box...(googles pig hoof print). Yep, definitely pig... cannot deliver those with hoof prints on them... Packaging still intact, I'm eating them now, stress makes me want to eat chocolates! Will put a note in to re-order these..
Subject: Welcome and production notes
From: Assistant producer
Hello and welcome to all our cast members, artistic and technical staff, and supporting personnel. We are very much looking forward to working with everyone on this independent production of “TLQ: The Movie!”
Production notes for the week: Your trailer requests have all been logged, you should find all the requested items when you check in this week. Please note that not all requests could be accommodated; the request for a stress-relief llama had to be turned down because our set coordinator had an unfortunate experience with one of those on his last production (who knew they could eat scrims?) and threatened to quit if we brought back the llama. To make up for the lack of large ruminants on set we have arranged for everyone to have visiting privileges at the local petting zoo for the duration of the production.
Schedule: We will be spending the first few weeks of filming on location. Our precise location is currently undisclosed for legal reasons but I can tell you that there are a range of accommodations and landscapes in close proximity to our film locations (think coastal but with mountains nearby). Because this is an independent production (aka cheap) we will not be flying anyone back and forth during the location weeks so you need to be prepared to live on-site for a few weeks.
Please fill in the reply form with: 1) your preferred accommodation type (cabin, tent, trailer, yurt, or large shared lodge, or make one up and we can see what we have in the set trailer) and 2) your preferred landscape location, we will do our best to match everyone with their first choices. You should also have a schedule of your daily call times and task at this point, please update that weekly going forward and report on your progress as we proceed.
Have a great first week on set!