the grid

the grid

Saturday, 15 October 2016

Week 5: Finding Joy

Apologies for late posting -- I'm at a conference and I wasn't organized enough to write this in advance!   I'd also like to apologize on behalf of my fellow residents of the USA, for inflicting this painful "ongoing train wreck" (CC's term) of an election on the rest of the world.  It was obvious last week that I was not the only one obsessed and anxious, and that will be true for the next 3+ weeks.

It's easy to think about the challenges we face, in finding a rhythm, dealing with the idiocies of politicians or administrators who think we don't work hard enough, managing work with difficult colleagues.   But in all this, I think it's important to keep connected to things that give us joy.  They may be, on a weekly basis, small moments -- a simulation that works, a good conversation, a terrific class discussion.  So I thought it would be good to collect at least one thing from each of us that has given us joy in the last week.

Goals from last week:
Contingent Cassandra
--establish bedtime routine (shower; reading; bed by 9:00/9:30 most nights)
--continue work in garden
--cook dinner at home at least 2-3x
--catch up on Bible reading
--start reading for end-of-Oct. professional workshop/seminar
--grant project follow up (email, budget distribution)
--catch up with brother; contact at least one other friend or family member to catch up 

1) Introduction, Literature review and previous work section for Paper 1
2) Data organization for Paper 1
3) Conference talk, and fully written out discussion for the topic to put into paper later 

(Susan would add, continue recovering from flood.)

Dame Eleanor Hull: 
1. Self care: gym 4x, walk 3x, sit 4x, yoga 2x, 5-10 minutes of basic stretching 5x. 
2. R&R #2: 4 hours (print reviewer comments, make own list of Things To Do, collect or ILL necessary books, start working from list).
3. Do the translation-related thing.
4. Finances: ½ hour to do the simple thing. Figure out what I need in the way of circumstances to do the other one (which is still pretty simple; I’m just blocked for some reason).
5. House Stuff: devote one day simply to house/personal stuff. 
6. Take care of TRQ, so it doesn’t distract me from TLQ.

Earnest English
This Week’s Theme: Grounded and Principled

Mental Health: Planning prevents panic. Breathe, stretch, meditate, drink calm tea, take baths. Be here now/no free rent in my head.
Gardening: 2 hours of gardening/clean-up; look into ordering garlic
Writing: 4 sessions of writing/revision 
Health: sleep, rest, relax, take supplements, eat well. 
Cooking: one meal this week 
Planning: Do bills, work on Spirited’s party; make most unpleasant phone call on Thursday.
Spirited!: therapy and connect when I get home.

Elizabeth Ann Mitchell
Continue physical therapy exercises x 14 
Improve eating habits, avoiding bad things x 10 
Walk x 7 
Yoga x 2
Outline vignettes 
Prudence x 5 
Pierpont x 5 

Good Enough Woman
Health: Exercise 3x. Make at least one overdue unpleasant doctor's appt. for myself. Making an appointment is SO hard. :( 
Home: Follow up about that dentist bill.
Research: Read one thing. Review submission requirements for article.
Family: Complete ~80% of Halloween party shopping and prep, including costume stuff. Order costume stuff for son. Get son started on Code Academy.

So for this week, I just want to do a good job with Last Remaining Project and not pressure myself to do anything more. 

1) get enough sleep, eat 5 fruit/veg a day, take Echinacea for cold
2) at least make a list of all the research stuff and deadlines and the like, so I can send emails with realistic "I can deliver for... date x" type contents
3) act deliberately, take a breath when I task transition, be kind to myself and think the best of people (especially people being drama-llamas about their own colds and teaching loads)

This week (including another road trip): Theme - Attend to Now
1. Clean up bedtime transitions - electronics curfew, choose one intentional activity (sewing/knitting/music practice/yoga) for each night.
2. Read and note 2 x articles.
3. Use sit/stand desk transitions to cue stretching.

KJ Haxton
This week:
1. finish talk for seminar, give talk
2. find and read through paperwork for meeting
3. prepare and deliver 3 hours of lectures
4. continue prep and planning 

1. Print out and read papers
2. Walk/ other exercise 2 x.
3. Read for pleasure on my trip home from conference.

1. Re-analyses for religion paper
2. Work on NSF grant
3. Work on intersections paper
4. Stupid analytic plan*


  1. Topic: This one is easy to answer this week, thankfully. I spent a whole day in my garden plot on Friday, and it was wonderful (give or take considerable stiffness on Saturday, but that's pretty much gone today). I really do need to find a way to build more gardening back into my life: in the garden plot in the short term, and in a garden of my own in the longer term. Ditto other outdoor activities, especially walking in the nice fall weather that has finally arrived, though that may need to wait for another week. (And yes, a full day away from election news, give or take the snatches of NPR heard while using the car to move mulch, was a nice respite).

    And a somewhat more complex source of joy (or maybe there's a better word: satisfaction? fulfillment? reward in the rewarding sense?), which also counts, in church lingo, as a concern: I've been asked to be a member of the search committee for our church's next senior pastor, and have said "yes" (subject to an election, which is usually pro forma, though there could always be surprises). This represents a substantial time commitment for at least the next year, and quite possibly 2 or even 3 years. Of course I'm concerned about that, given that I already feel periodically overwhelmed by trying to keep up with school work and home matters, but the problem is really more energy and focus than time, and this endeavor represents something that is, sadly, missing in my work environment: a chance to grow in an institutional context, to learn more about, and contribute more to, a community to which I've already made a long-term commitment. And it's not really an either/or thing: realistically, I probably would end up doing less committee work/service at church if I had more opportunities for department- and institution-level service at my university, but, given what I see fellow members with much more demanding jobs doing, I suspect I'd still be doing a good deal at church.

    So, in addition to being a new thing to juggle (though one that I hope will, like exercise, prove to be more energizing that draining in the long run), this is a reminder that I'd really like to find ways to do something service-like at work (without finding myself simply taking on more work without compensation, however, which is the tricky part, since service is not part of my job at all). That's probably a long-term goal (and one that may not, realistically, be reachable, given the realities of where my job fits in the institutional structure: it's not quite dead-end, because I can make something more of the job itself through pedagogical innovation and/or publication, but gaining an institutional voice is difficult). In the shorter term, I need to figure out next steps for the grant project (and mull, with my colleagues, whether we want to look for further funding, probably outside the institution -- though that may bring more of an administrative burden than it's worthwhile for any of us to shoulder.)

    So there's plenty of food for thought in the events of the last week, and I'm hoping that a set of back-to-back professional/conference trips that start in the next 10 days will afford me a bit of time for reflection.

    1. Oh, and one more joy (also a pointer toward things I really do want to work back into my life): both the professional reading I did this week and a lecture I attended on Saturday sparked thoughts relevant to an article-in-progress that I haven't touched in 2 years. It was going well, and I really do want to get back to it.

    2. Last week's goals:
      --establish bedtime routine (shower; reading; bed by 9:00/9:30 most nights)
      --continue work in garden
      --cook dinner at home at least 2-3x
      --catch up on Bible reading
      --start reading for end-of-Oct. professional workshop/seminar
      --grant project follow up (email, budget distribution)
      --catch up with brother; contact at least one other friend or family member to catch up

      Accomplished: full day of work in garden; somewhat more regular bedtime routine (but still later than ideal; some early-morning commitments this week should help with that); caught up with brother (and at least briefly with one friend); some professional reading; went to farmer's market (previous week's goal); a few homemade breakfasts but no dinners (but planning on one soon after I finish this post).

      Little to no progress: Bible reading; grant project follow-up.

      Goals for next week:
      --more work in garden: get things as close to ready for 11/15 inspection deadline as possible, including making at least one more bed and doing last sowing of winter greens.
      --get enough and as regular as possible sleep; continue to move sleep schedule earlier as possible
      --harvest parsley & make pesto
      --work food bought/harvested this week into meals
      --do grant project follow-up (emails; final budget distribution)
      --catch up with grading in preparation for upcoming trips
      --make progress on reading for professional meeting
      --finish travel arrangements: train ticket, one more hotel reservation, department paperwork
      --follow up with brother; catch up with stepsister and one friend
      --at least some Bible reading (probably will end up catching up after trip)
      --take one walk, even a short one, if possible.

    3. Please come and do my garden. I have decided that Life's Too Short and I would rather enjoy other people's gardens than keep struggling with my own.

    4. I love the range of good things you are noticing. And I've watched church searches -- they are hard, but at their best good for the congregation, and great learning experiences!

  2. Topic: I am ever grateful for the reminder to seek joy. I get so mired in the negative (especially the election train wreck) that it took me a few minutes to remember the abundant, connecting, joyful meeting I had with Favorite Committee last week. So much affirmation, so much enthusiasm for being on board together trying to bring good things to our students and our university community. And also, just being in the company of good humans for an hour or so.

    Last week’s goals: This was a tough week. I had a not-unexpected headache but as is usually the case with headaches, I forget how I am rendered unable to function for three days or so and there are consequences. I sent an email to Last Remaining Project contact asking for an extension. It’s an online journal in Secondary Field, so it won’t be catastrophic for anyone if the editors decide not to extend the deadline. It does complicate planning for the week ahead, though.

    This week:
    1 finish and submit Last Remaining if invited to do so
    2 finish reading book 2 for review (I have some time to spend in non-places like waiting rooms this week)
    3 finish chapter 5 references for Revised Book Project
    4 be mindful about eating

    1. Am sorry to hear about the headache. These unexpected illnesses are hard to deal with.

    2. Sorry about what sounds like a migraine. But isn't it fun to have a good committee meeting? Everyone complains, but from time to time something really happens.

    3. It's also good to know there are good people around when you need them.

    4. So sorry the election and headaches are taking a toll! Major empathy on both fronts!

  3. Topic: I had a really good grad class this week, the sort that goes a bit off topic but is productive and interesting so you just let it happen, and that was a joy. I've been trying to cultivate appreciation, if not joy: the multicolored tree visible from our bedroom, Reina's enthusiasm for the Fevver Toy, availability of hot baths.

    I wish I could report on the results of the one day on personal stuff, but I was sick that day. (Apparently some companies' notion of "traces" of Eleanor-poison is well within the range of what poisons me, because by the ingredients list that energy bar should have been fine. And everything else I ate has been proven safe multiple times.) I did make the phone calls that day, because I felt so unlike myself that calls were no trouble, so there's one good thing to come of it.

    1. Self care: gym 4x, walk 3x, sit 4x, yoga 2x, 5-10 minutes of basic stretching 5x. CHANGED TO: Gym 3x (upper-body weights only; maybe swim with a leg float); limit walking as much as possible; sit 5x; yoga 3x; 5-10 minutes basic stretching 4x. GYM 2x (no swimming), SIT 3x, YOGA 2x, BASIC 3x. Though I didn't meet goals, I did okay. The ankle is improving and I'm going to go another week trying to baby it along while wearing a brace before I try anything more strenuous.
    2. R&R #2: 4 hours (print reviewer comments, make own list of Things To Do, collect or ILL necessary books, start working from list). NO: 1 hour; printed comments, re-read paper. Progress but a lot less than I hoped.
    3. Do the translation-related thing. NO. Argh.
    4. Finances: ½ hour to do the simple thing. Figure out what I need in the way of circumstances to do the other one (which is still pretty simple; I’m just blocked for some reason). NOPE. See above about the day that was supposed to involve this stuff.
    5. House Stuff: devote one day simply to house/personal stuff. NOPE. BUT: we now have a contract to replace a batch of windows---at no small expense, to be sure---so this is definitely a step forward with the House Stuff and Moving Plan. I'll have to move furniture and there will be noise, dust, uproar, imprisoned cats, etc., but now the whole thing is in train so it will just have to be dealt with. AND today I stained the porch.
    6. Take care of TRQ, so it doesn’t distract me from TLQ. More or less. Got flu shot, finished grading but have not yet posted grades, still have a batch of TRQ outstanding, including a recommendation letter that is now not just TRQ but flashing bright red at me.

    Next goals:
    1. Self care: sit 4x, yoga 4x, basic stretching 3x, gym 3x for weights only.
    2. R&R #2: 3 hours; make own list; collect/order books.
    3. Translation-related thing: do it.
    4. House/personal: do one of those financial things, 1 hour basement sorting, 1 hour filing, organize estimates on gutter cleaning.
    5. Teaching: plan the rest of the term (possible change to one class).
    6. Take care of TRQ so it doesn't distract me from TLQ.

    I really feel like it's hard enough to keep up with both a job and ordinary Life Stuff (feeding us and cats, laundry, bills) without adding extra (significant repairs and maintenance). How do other people manage? I mean, some people have jobs and children and parents and old houses and way more than I'm dealing with. My life is lovely, really, but there are just

    1. Love your description of your grad class. And I know about being flumoxed by adding anything extra to life!

  4. Hi all,
    My comment last week got eaten, and I couldn't face rewriting it, so I am rejoining relatively early this week instead! I have had some wonderful moments of joy this week, primarily in connecting with other people I love in my community. I went to a wake, which created the most wonderful shared moments of hilarity and joy. Before, I felt tired and stressed, and to be perfectly honest, I now feel refreshed.(Probably rather obviously, this was not someone who died early, or in difficult circumstances). Still, it reminds me, that although I am an introvert, time spent with people I love is deeply healing. Failing that, the joy of walking by the sea.

    Last fortnight's goals:
    1. Exercise 4x.YES. I am still on track with this. Although, somehow, I seem to be getting rounder in the middle, slowly but surely, I am at least exercising daily/ almost daily.
    2. Reduce eating from boredom and frustration. I think this is a SOMEWHAT, as I am getting rounder, and that is not related to hunger.
    3. Sort out all data for next TLQ paper- let me call it WMorph - first, by doing some measurements, then checking data spreadsheets. MOSTLY. Measurements are done, and I have done some checking, but need to do a little more.

    Goals this week:
    1. Eat healthy foods 85% of the time.
    2. Continue drafting bird paper - write up some results (with at least one graph) and contact lab guy.
    3. Finish revisions to FS and send off.
    4. Draft rough revision for WHK paper
    allan wilson

    1. Sorry about last week's comment! And I too find that real connection with people makes me feel much better.

      As someone who is eating carefully, exercising, and gaining weight, sympathies...

  5. Last Week’s Theme: Grounded and Principled

    Mental Health: Planning prevents panic. Breathe, stretch, meditate, drink calm tea, take baths. Be here now/no free rent in my head. MOSTLY GOOD
    Gardening: 2 hours of gardening/clean-up; look into ordering garlic: SERIOUS LEAF CLEANUP SATURDAY: awesome!
    Writing: 4 sessions of writing/revision; NO, only 1 session, but I started to think seriously about the challenges here, and I’m working to address them
    Health: sleep, rest, relax, take supplements, eat well. FOOD AT WORK problems
    Cooking: one meal this week YES
    Planning: Do bills, work on Spirited’s party; make most unpleasant phone call on Thursday. ALL, except most unpleasant call
    Spirited!: therapy and connect when I get home. YUP, though they did a lot of therapy without me (YAY!)

    Finding Joy

    I think finding joy is key to being grounded/balanced and to a Slow professoriate. It’s easy to forget seeking out and even creating things to get joyful about when I’m focusing so much energy on not getting upset. This week I’m thinking slow and steady wins the race (because we’re gearing up for a birthday party at our house next weekend), but I will also work to find joy. This may be easier this week since the intensive schedule of student conferences I lived through last week is abating early this week.

    Last week I’d say that a moment of finding joy was working on the leaf shredding. Actually the weekend was full of tasks that made me feel more grounded at home. Feeling more grounded at home instead of always working (in my head or on grading) gives me a lot of joy. I also wrote at a moment when I was really tired and ready to do other things, which was a small joyful victory that left me feeling jazzed. There hasn’t been a lot of joy in Workville, for many reasons.

    Upcoming Week: Slow and Steady Tortoise Finds the Joy!

    Mental Health: Planning, stretching, mental discipline for inner freedom, meditation when needed, breathe. Try not to invest a lot of energy in hating hateful people.
    Gardening: Clean up for party as much as I can???
    Writing: 3 sessions of writing/revising; respond to others’ work; read for project
    Health: sleep, rest, relax, take supplements, eat well, make sure to bring and eat lunch.
    Cooking: one meal this week
    Planning: Spirited’s party: many tasks, including kitchen and bathroom cleaning; arrangements; stuff still to purchase; people to get in touch with
    Spirited!: therapy and connect when I get home.

    Have a great week everyone!

    1. I love when I get out in the garden. It feels constructive! Good luck for the slow and steady in the week ahead.

  6. This is me waving the white flag and giving up...
    After the flood (still haven't seen insurance guy because the whole region is a mess) the dreaded note came from elementary school that everyone had the evil critter that lives on heads. I freaked out and did a full sanitation of everything in the house, kid was totally clear, but just in case I did everything. So much work! Then I fell down the stairs and sprained my ankle badly enough for days of crutches and physio (because I totally had time for that...). Then today came the even more dreaded call from school, critters are back... I really hate everything right now.
    So, I'll be back in about 2 weeks when the giant grant application is finished, visiting grad students have gone home, two more conferences (on my weekends) are done, and I can sit in my office and not want to cry...
    Good luck everyone!

    1. Oh, Daisy! I'm so sorry to hear of your woes, and wish I could help. Hang in there, and eat chocolate!

    2. My ankle sends condolences to yours! Here, have one of these:

    3. Oh, my. THere's one bit of good news in that, but having lived through insurance companies in a natural disaster, sending good vibes your way. Good luck in the next two weeks.

    4. Oh Daisy - this all sounds horrible! Good luck on the grant app, and everything else.

  7. Joy: I spent the weekend at a conference in memory of a colleague, and the discussion was full of love for him. And I had some good conversations with people and met new colleagues/friends. Much goodness, and a reminder that my professional world is full of friends.

    Last week's goals:
    1. Print out and read papers DONE
    2. Walk/ other exercise 2 x. DONE
    3. Read for pleasure on my trip home from conference. NO

    Analysis: I'm going to have simple goals in the weeks ahead because I have my schedule for the book production, and it will be relentless. So I panicked and read the book I'm teaching on Tuesday on the plane. Ahead on teaching!

    Goals for the week ahead:
    1. Write two paper abstracts -- one based on the paper I gave last week, one for a conference in March.
    2. Make plane reservations for next conference
    3. Grade papers
    4. Go through MS and check all citations to printed books in period; do printed primary sources if possible.
    5. Do small admin task for department so it's DONE.

    Next Tuesday I get my copyedited ms, and in theory have one week to return it. So I need to do everything I can to get ahead of the work. And keep breathing.

    1. The conference sounds very nice, and yay for being ahead on teaching! Plan to read for pleasure after turning back the manuscript.

  8. Finding joy: I had several instances of joy this past week. In the mundane task of driving to work from the new house, I am treated to several views of autumn leaves, from the deep red of the maple in the front yard, through the golds and reds of the neighborhood, and beyond on the state highway which offers broad expanses of wooded hills and glimpses of the Helderbergs, the northern foothills of the Catskills, lining the horizon with purple in the distance. Did I mention I love autumn?

    I also had a chance to set aside an evening when DH was away, and instead of plopping down to binge on Netflix, I wrote. It was not the amount of words, but the immersion back into the pool of scholarship and thought that was joyful.

    Last week’s goals:
    Continue physical therapy exercises x 14.
    I made the mistake of going twice in two days to the physical therapist, which was too much in too short a period. Now I know better! In spite of the pain, x 10.

    Improve eating habits, avoiding bad things x 10.
    Better, but with more improvement needed. I avoided most things I know are bad for me, but discovered some that need to join that list, x 7

    Walk x 7.
    Only x 6, since I couldn’t straighten up the second day of physical therapy.

    Yoga x 2.
    Nope, although I watched the video and found exercises that I expect not to put me in traction.

    Outline vignettes
    Yes, I managed to outline three.

    Prudence x 5
    Yes, I actually did this, too.

    Pierpont x 5
    Only 3 here, but progress all the same.

    Next week’s goals:
    Call three doctors for appointments.
    Continue physical therapy exercises x 10
    Improve eating habits, avoiding bad things x 5
    Walk x 7
    Yoga x 1

    Write one story.
    Prudence x 5
    Pierpont x 5

    Breathe, move like water, look for joy, and keep tilting!

    1. I love autumn in the northeast, and the Hudson valley in particular. And oh, for immersion. I've started closing email so I can concentrate.

    2. Congrats on avoiding netflix and writing instead!

  9. At this time of year in the UK with the beautiful autumn colours, a return to more warming autumn food, it's easy to find a bit of joy. Also taking quite a lot of pleasure in normality and the usual routines of semester. They're about to be seriously disrupted so I'll take what I can get while I can. I'm hoping to find out this week about the start of medical treatment that will mean I can't go to work (too much infection risk). I've got plans for working at home if I'm well enough but going from typical semester busy to being at home alone all day is going to be challenging.

    Last week
    1. finish talk for seminar, give talk - done, went well
    2. find and read through paperwork for meeting - done, went well
    3. prepare and deliver 3 hours of lectures - done, went well
    4. continue prep and planning - still a work in progress

    This week
    1. find and read through paperwork for meeting (yay! trip to London!)
    2. finish off plans for transferring my face-to-face teaching onto colleagues before 'sick' leave
    3. continue prep for classes
    4. make arrangements for outreach event for Hallow'een and in November

    *it's not really sick leave because I'll still be working, exact arrangements still being figured out, but it's a simpler way to describe it.

    1. Ugh, I hope that works out timing wise (and that the medical thing is not necessitated by anything too ominous or uncomfortable). I must admit to slight envy at the "home all day alone" bit though, that sounds like nirvana to me! (I may be a little TOO curmudgeonly at the moment...)

    2. Like Jane, I hope the medical treatment is not too serious (but anything that messes with immunity is not good). Good luck.
      Oh, and autumn comfort food!

  10. Joy. Very important!

    Yesterday I walked to the car park across a suddenly sunlight and sparkly campus, after a day of rain. The autumn trees were especially brilliant against the dark clouds of the next rain and the wet concrete of the brutalist part of campus which is the shortest way to the car. When I had to stop to cough (whine whine) two strangers asked if I was OK and smiled at me with sympathy, and a tall, burly student in lumberjack-style clothing went past wearing a really cute knitted hat with fluffy cat ears attached.

    I gave out a 100% on the first assignment for the first years - OK, so this wasn't hard, it was a follow the instructions type thing, but it was SO rewarding when someone DID THAT, perfectly!

    I was feeling particularly awful and worried about my voice yesterday after 5 hours of teaching with another to go, so I reached out to a usually difficult and smugly superior colleague to see if there was any possibility of them covering a lecture on Wednesday for me, just in case - they were perfectly nice and friendly in response, such a nice change, and actually went to some effort to make themselves available in case of need. That said, I now probably won't need, because last night I accidentally took cough medicine twice in an hour, and actually SLEPT for four hours straight, and that has made all the difference, apparently. I hope!

    Finding joy - and humour (joy to me is often a serious emotion, even if ones body responds to it with a smile) - in dark, busy, difficult, nibbled-to-death-by-goldfish parts of life is definitely something that matters to me, and something I actually feel I do reasonably well at. Nice that there's SOMETHING I feel OK about myself at, for a change!

    Still in survival mode, here, and bumping along from hour to hour. TLQ is losing out, and I don't care much right now. But thinking well of other people, overtly and deliberately, is definitely an energy saver... even if the universe is out to challenge me on this one (will blog about a Thing That Came Up shortly, could use advice). Bowing out of goals and all that, until I see if I actually start getting over this cold or if something else is brewing. But small moments of joy - yes, I definitely keep looking for them!

    1. I am often reminded how little it takes to make me happy. But a difficult colleague being helpful? That's such a gift. As is a student following instructions. (As for sleep, I slept 8 hours the other night, and felt *so* good afterwards!)

  11. I'm very late this week with no good reason.

    1. Re-analyses for religion paper - DONE, but now more are needed
    2. Work on NSF grant - DONE, but more to do
    3. Work on intersections paper - NOT DONE (ARGH)
    4. Stupid analytic plan - DONE

    I'm not finding a lot of joy right now, but it seems like that is the best time to do so. This election is really wearing on me. I'm also worn down by still not knowing whether world's best mentor and I are moving to a diff university (thought I'd have something definitive this week, but looks like it might be some time yet). I'm also still waiting on my NIH grant scores (that at least is not a moving target - I know when I will get my scores). So much about my personal and professional future is up in the air, it is hard to feel optimistic or to even know what to do. People keep asking me what my post postdoc plans are - but I don't even know what I am doing in 6 months - much less 2.5 years or so from now. I keep telling people I am planning on a 30 year postdoc with world's best mentor - and hope the joke satisfies them. All of this is affecting me pretty broadly - I got to see "Hamilton" and was like, "meh" afterwards (which is a pretty ridiculous response, esp. given how much I paid for my ticket!). World's best mentor keeps telling me to be more positive - and that is hard (it sounds like I am walking around being like a toxic mess, but I don't think that is how I come across - but I am being more avoidant of others than usual and avoid talking about myself more than usual).

    Anyway, goals for this week:
    1. Figure out moderated-mediation or mediated-moderation for NSF model
    2. Work on darned intersectionality paper*
    3. work on religion analyses

    * One of the challenges I am having is that world's best mentor is increasingly asking me to help her with stuff. I am very happy to help her - she has been amazing to/for me, and I want to give back. But, I have a bad habit of putting other people's needs before my own, which means I am putting work for her before work for me (like writing manuscripts). I really need to work on this - but a lot of the things she asks me to do are very easy for me to get done - and get done well, which is a nice ego boost. Writing manuscripts is much much harder (and lonelier), so it is easy to push that aside and do the quick-good-feeling thing.

    1. Go for the little things, wherever you can find them: fresh raspberries (assuming you like them), listening to a favorite song, wearing your favorite shoes. They're in your control, unlike a lot of the big stuff you're waiting on, and even if you're too stressed to feel joy, you can feel that you are being kind to yourself by providing these small pleasures.