the grid

the grid

Sunday 27 September 2020

Last Quarter 2020, Week 3: Redirection, Renovation

On our way to do some apple-picking this afternoon, we inadvertently ran into a Trump rally. 

That was no fun. My determination to ignore-ignore-ignore went out the window when someone waved a giant Trump flag really close to the front of our car. (I didn't do anything dangerous, just spewed a little venom.)

Anyway, on our way home, we chose a totally different route, despite our GPS's determination to steer us right back into the particular town center where the rally was being held. (In fairness to our GPS, it was the most obvious route.) With perseverance, we were able to redirect ourselves to a more meandering route--one that also happened to be incredibly beautiful, it being early fall in rural New England and all that. So Redirection strikes me as a good theme for the day.

What's kind of funny is that I had already settled on Redirection as a theme for my post last night, when I was lying in bed realizing that I had to come up with a prompt. Actually, in order to provide some kind of linkage to DEH's clever architectural theme, it was going to be Redirection, Renovation--both of which involve taking what you have and either turning it into, or towards, what you want. I had been thinking about Redirecting in terms of taking my anxiety about the upcoming election and channeling it into some more letter-writing to encourage voter turn-out (I just signed up for another batch of letters), but today's adventure has me thinking about how sometimes Redirecting can really be just leaving behind what's aggravating us and going somewhere else--an idea curiously in-line with the Let It Go/Drop It motif that came up in many of our aspirational mottoes in Week 1 Redux.

(How, by the way, did I not see that I was giving us a second Week 1? In my mind the first Week 1 was really Week 0, but of course it wasn't, so.)

Or, if you're more metaphorically inclined, you can think about what part of your allegorical building you would like to Renovate, and how.

I hope that you all had a tolerably decent week, and that many more such (or, ideally, better) are to come.

Last week:

Daisy:

1) Start new early morning work time schedule
2) Make 3 figures for Albatross
3) Write long overdue society thing for committee
4) Make talk for upcoming conference
5) Record more lecture material
6) Stick to “action plan” for the whole week

Dame Eleanor Hull:

*Health: daily cardio and stretching, weights x 3, try to eat carefully and sleep enough.
*Teaching: Catch up with grading and planning.
*Research: make plan for addressing revisions; some time on both dead and live languages; maybe some other reading.
*Service: prep for next week's meeting.
*Fun stuff: read more mid-century women's fiction, see friends in person/distanced, coloring.
*House/life: pruning; sign & mail tax return; put together more bookcases.
*Track time, at least roughly.

Elizabeth Anne Mitchell:

FINISH the lit review.
Write up my notes from the first research interview.
Meet with the other two profs and write up their interviews.
Read one article in the digital humanities bibliography.
Walk 2x7; meditate 1x7; write 2 hours x 5; put something positive in the planner 1x7.

heu mihi:

1) Teaching: Next batch of lectures (record them) and PowerPoints; grade 1 set of papers
2) Personal virtue*: Run x 5, yoga any amount x 2, language x 3, sit x 2
3) Service tasks: Two five-year course reviews, majors meeting
4) Graduate students: Write letter(s) of recommendation, read one exam document
5) Research: Finish NunG vol. 3
6) Fun: Order some new papers for bookbinding?
7) Parenting: 3 days of French lessons, do something fun with kid at some point this week

humming42:

1 write a tiny project piece
2 work on creative piece
3 write weekly blog post
4 read 10 essays for award judging
5 work on internal grant application
6 try to be patient and not over-zoomed by excessive meetings this week

JaneB:

1) set goals for TLQ
2) work on restoring BuJo habit
3) set up new noticeboard for Preptober
4) be kind. be kind. be kind. (but don't be a doormat, that's not kind either to JaneB or to the other person when the doormat reaches the limit and snaps at their ankles or just stalks off and they get all surprised).
5) try to stop obsessing about buying more supplies that I don't have storage space for - Br3xit notwithstanding.
6) referee an article
7) prepare as much of week 3 as possible (we're supposed to be working 3 weeks or more ahead... and subject to spot checks... ::eye roll::)

Susan:

1. Finish admin stuff for committee
2. Create one more module in each course
3. 2 x 1 hour on Famous Author
4. Read ms, write review (due Sept 30, so getting dire)
5. Keep getting exercise
6. Get regular sleep
7. Do something nice
8. Be kind to everyone, including myself

16 comments:

  1. heu mihi, your comment on Week 0 resonates with me, when I realized this morning that the reason I always miscount the major arcana in the tarot is because I forget that The Fool is 0 and I count it as 1. Even though I know. I'm determined to advocate for 0 in a positive way this week.

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  2. Hello again!

    I'm trying a few other Redirections this week. I'm not checking FB, for any reason. That's a start. (Not sure what I'm directing that energy to, though.) I'm not running until I get my new shoes, so I'm taking longer walks instead, and will do two full yoga classes this week. I can't remember what the other things were. Oh well.

    Last week:
    1) Teaching: Next batch of lectures (record them) and PowerPoints; grade 1 set of papers - PowerPoints yes, 1 of 2 lectures yes, 1 set of papers yes.
    2) Personal virtue*: Run x 5, yoga any amount x 2, language x 3, sit x 2 - Run x 4—I’m having some knee tightness, so I’m stopping until my new sneakers arrive later this week, yoga briefly x 1, language x 2, sit x 2. I’m not happy with my neglect of yoga (although I opted out of an outdoor class this week in favor of a long-promised hike with my child, which was the right choice).
    3) Service tasks: Two five-year course reviews, majors meeting - 1 course review (the other has been deferred until next year, although I might do it anyway); was the majors meeting really last week? It feels like 6 months ago.
    4) Graduate students: Write letter(s) of recommendation, read one exam document - DONE
    5) Research: Finish NunG vol. 3 - DONE
    6) Fun: Order some new papers for bookbinding? - DONE
    7) Parenting: 3 days of French lessons, do something fun with kid at some point this week - Only 2 French lessons (I was only on for TTh last week, as it happens; I’m on for MWF this week); YES—a hike and fun playtime in the forest (masked, more or less distanced) with three of his friends this weekend!

    This week:
    1) Teaching: Finish 1 or maybe even 2 batches of papers; record that lingering lecture; record 2 more lectures; next batch of PowerPoints. (Being ambitious might work here?)
    2) Personal virtue, sans asterisk: Yoga x 2; walk a bunch; language x 3, sit x 2
    3) Research: 3 chapters/day of NunG vol. 4; notes on NunG vol. 3
    4) Graduate students: Write the next letter of recommendation
    5) Fun: Make a book once the paper arrives
    6) Parenting: French x 3, fun thing with kid over the weekend

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's fun waiting for packages---I got a notice that a book I ordered had shipped, and I don't remember what book that was, so a surprise is coming. New running shoes and book-binding paper are both fun things to look forward to. What sort of books do you make? Do you bind printed books that you have, or do you make blank notebooks?

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    2. Blank notebooks, mostly. They generally end up as journals--but I have a few that are too pretty/fancy for that, so they just sit around, waiting for me to think of a really great idea for what to include in them.

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  3. Redirection is exactly what I need! Desperately!! I’ve got nothing left… It was a lousy week, I cannot concentrate, and I hate online teaching with the fiery passion of a thousand suns… It is at least ten times the work with none of the satisfaction and absolutely no fun whatsoever. I know everyone doesn’t hate it this much, but right now I definitely do, and I find it the most draining thing I’ve done in my career. After every online class I’m a mess, and this is even with most of my stuff being beautifully designed for asynchronous work to save the video time for interactive Q+A and discussion.

    Last week’s goals:
    1) Start new early morning work time schedule HAHAHAHA NOPE
    2) Make 3 figures for Albatross NOPE
    3) Write long overdue society thing for committee YES
    4) Make talk for upcoming conference NOPE
    5) Record more lecture material NOT ENOUGH
    6) Stick to “action plan” for the whole week MOSTLY except for the strength training parts and also no fun was had…

    I am not handling this term well at all. I think I could have done better if there was light at the end of the tunnel but all I can see is the oncoming train… I heard back from the dream job I interviewed for in the summer, and I lost. To a post-doc with zero teaching experience, zero independent funding, zero independent work, who has never set foot in the area they specifically said they wanted to have new projects in… (aka where I’ve been working for years). The young shiny white male with unlimited potential will always be judged more favourably than anyone with a proven record… It is a small field, and I am so humiliated and devastated and angry I don’t know how I’m ever going to be able to crawl out of this hole. I have to give a keynote talk at a conference in a few weeks on some of the same material I had in my research talk even trying to open those slides and talk about the topics are making me feel physically ill. What do I do? I desperately need to redirect my brain and refocus. I did stick to some of my action plan elements pretty well, but to keep my overall intention in mind I’m going to list it here for goals too.

    This week’s goals:
    1) Make and record conference talk
    2) Make 3 figures for Albatross (this is a stretch goal!)
    3) Figure out why my work area smells like cat pee and fix it
    4) My intentional thing for the week: go visit co-authors a day’s drive away and meet new grad student and talk about fun research project and graduate seminar

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    Replies
    1. I'm so sorry, Daisy! Perhaps take a deep breath first, then talk to a colleague who values you and your work? I have found that helpful. You have a sympathetic group here, too!

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    2. What a total bummer! "All their taste is in their mouths"---there's one of those sayings we were talking about last summer. I am sorry. Would help to think of the keynote as a sort of "I'll show them" talk, in which you display and celebrate your expertise? Anger can be excellent fuel for accomplishment and creativity, if you can work up a head of steam rather than feeling flattened.

      Teaching online is definitely way more work than in person. I don't hate it, but I don't love it, and I see why you and others hate it. I think it's working for me largely because I have a fair number of students I have taught before and they are great---it would be so much harder with all strangers.

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    3. I'm so sorry. The success of mediocre white men is an ongoing source of rage, and of course they can fail up.
      I hope thinking about the keynote can help you focus on what you love about your work.

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    4. I'm so sorry! That's just a drag. I know the feeling (sort of--I think you probably deserved this position much more than I deserved the positions for which I have had similar feelings). It will pass, but it stings, badly.

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    5. Thank you for all the kind and supportive words! It really does make a difference. One thing that has been heartening is seeing how mad and upset my references were on my behalf, they are all people I really respect so it is good to know they think I do good work. So, onwards we go...
      I'm taking a small road trip to see my lovely co-authors and meet my new grad student for a couple of days to help redirect my head so the change of scene is doing wonder for my head even though I'm only about 6 hours from home! Doesn't take much!

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  4. Redirection and/or renovation is the perfect theme for my week. I feel as though I had a decrepit shed on my lot, which I had despaired of being able to do anything but tear it down. However, this past week, I pulled up a floorboard in that shed to find a bag of money that I can use to renovate it for an office. It is not an immediate fix, and it won't be easy, since there will be a lot of sweat equity, but I feel it will be a nice space when I'm done.

    Last week’s goals:
    FINISH the lit review. Yes. Now to move on to the next.
    Write up my notes from the first research interview. Yes. It was depressing, but it's done.
    Meet with the other two profs and write up their interviews. Yes. Very helpful and supportive folks, thankfully.
    Read one article in the digital humanities bibliography. Nope, since I felt there wasn't any point. However, a good talk yesterday with one of the profs made me feel much better.
    Walk 2x7; meditate 1x7; write 2 hours x 5; put something positive in the planner 1x7. Yes, yes, yes, and 1x5. Getting better--some positive things from last week have helped.

    This week was better, thank goodness. The third prof I interviewed was so supportive about what I wanted to do, I started feeling slightly better about being the square peg in the room. At the very end of the week, I found out I have a research space at the archive next week for two days. I originally had a week, so I'll have to cobble together two trips, but I'm not complaining! Also, the disgusting medicine is still working, so hallelujah on that. And finally, I played around on the bibliographic software for the annotated bibliography, figuring out how to make it do what I want. Another small victory, but I'll take it.

    Next week's goals:
    Interview fourth prof, and write up the notes.
    Prepare for the archive trip.
    Write class presentation.
    Read and annotate two articles in the digital humanities bibliography.
    Walk 2x7; meditate 1x7; write 2 hours x 5; put something positive in the planner 1x7.

    I'm cautiously optimistic about the path forward. I still don't fit, but I think there may be a handful of folks who will work with me.

    Stay safe and well, everyone, and float like mist.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, that's certainly an intriguing metaphor! It sounds like a bit from the "Merlin laughs" series of events. (For non-medievalists: Merlin passes a beggar outside a church and laughs, passes a man who just bought a new pair of shoes and laughs, [various similar scenarios]. When forced to explain why he laughed, he says the beggar is sitting on top of buried treasure, the man with the shoes will die before he can wear them, and so on.)

      I think people who have trouble finding where they fit always wind up doing the most interesting research, in the long run, because their "outside" perspective makes them ask different questions and see different solutions. The process of getting by the gate-keepers, however, can certainly be long and arduous. I hope this week continues to move in positive directions.

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    2. What Dame Eleanor said. Sounds like there are profs who will help you, but your square peg is a place to think in new ways.
      I'm a perpetual square peg.

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  5. Redirection, what a great theme! I wrote at my blog about re-setting after the Tour de France, feeling that now that is over, it really can be fall. Cooler weather is also helping with that. I'm trying a different OTC drug that (so far) is helping my touchy gut, and as a result I'm sleeping better; so long as that keeps up, I feel very optimistic. It's amazing what a difference adequate sleep makes to my ability to cope. Though it's in the upper 50s, I am nonetheless working on my deck again, well wrapped up; my hands are cold, but I so enjoy looking up at the trees and out at the grass, and seeing the birds and squirrels going about their lives. I will keep this up as far into the season as weather allows.

    How I did:

    *Health: daily cardio and stretching, weights x 3, try to eat carefully and sleep enough. YES to all, I think.
    *Teaching: Catch up with grading and planning. NO: graded one set of essays, have at least two assignments waiting for me, am still getting the next week's modules put together on Sunday instead of getting even a teeny bit ahead.
    *Research: make plan for addressing revisions; some time on both dead and live languages; maybe some other reading. UGH: I did some scholarly reading on 3 days, about 60 pages total in a large book by Keith Busby; prepped for my Latin reading group; read in Spanish before bed most nights (a novel I have read before). Nothing about the revisions. Heavy sigh.
    *Service: prep for next week's meeting. YES
    *Fun stuff: read more mid-century women's fiction, see friends in person/distanced, coloring. YES, YES (this week was a Zoom gathering, actually, I forgot to update when I copied my goals over), NO.
    *House/life: pruning; sign & mail tax return; put together more bookcases. YES, NO, YES.
    *Track time, at least roughly. YES, mostly. It continues to be very helpful.

    New goals are going to look very similar:

    *Health: daily cardio and stretching, weights x 3, try to eat carefully and sleep enough.
    *Teaching: Catch up with grading and planning.
    *Research: make plan for addressing revisions; some time on both dead and live languages; maybe some other reading.
    *Service: prep for next week's meeting; work on exam-related document for dept.
    *Fun stuff: read more mid-century women's fiction, see friends in person/distanced, coloring.
    *House/life: sign & mail tax return (you have ONE job!).
    *Track time, at least roughly.

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  6. Redirection. Hmmm. Last week I was in a maze, and I feel a bit less lost this week. I think I may have found the garden shelter where I can at least hang out. But I'm not sure, I may be on my way again...
    How I did:
    1. Finish admin stuff for committee YES
    2. Create one more module in each course I THINK SO?
    3. 2 x 1 hour on Famous Author NO
    4. Read ms, write review (due Sept 30, so getting dire) ALMOST DONE - needs a concluding para
    5. Keep getting exercise - YES, not as much as I should, but at least every other day
    6. Get regular sleep YES, mostly
    7. Do something nice I made mushroom risotto
    8. Be kind to everyone, including myself YES

    I left off my list all the work on the proposal for the professional society - we were presented a journal on short notice and I'm leading the search for a new publisher. I got our proposal out last night, to all the relevant publishers. But the week included lots of back and forth on that, and two meetings, and...
    I've done most of the admin stuff for my campus committee, and was even kind to my dean when he had a meltdown on Saturday morning. (I mean, WTF?) I've adjusted the syllabus in my undergrad class after a survey, recorded a video about it...It just feels never ending. I think I've got the decks cleared so that I should get some time on Famous Author this week. (I just agreed to read an article for a journal, but htat's not a 720 p. ms.

    My students are struggling -- I did a survey, and many of them talked about lack of motivation, anxiety, etc. So there's that. I'm basically fine, but tired all the time. I mostly got good sleep (two nights I had digestive issues, which has suddenly put me in a food avoidance group.) THe days roll into each other. I have taken on tasks that have structure partly to give the world one.

    Anyway, goals for next week:
    1. One more module for each class
    2. Send out notice on speakers
    3. 3x1 hour on Famous Author
    4. Do something nice at weekend
    5. Keep walking/working out
    6. REad for fun
    7. Get good sleep

    I'm probably forgetting something, but... I just had a student show up to my zoom office hours, and my students are just great. And I can't imagine how hard it is for them. So my motto continues to be "be kind".

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