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Friday 5 August 2016

Week 14: Words that resonate

Drawing on the lines of poetry JaneB posted last week, I have been thinking about how my dissertation director would tell students to pay close attention to what they loved to read, then figure out what made it magical. Then consider how you might carry those good things over to your own work. I found this resonated with me, even though I often went to poetry to inspire the rhythm of my prose.

I’m not a person who re-reads novels, but there is one book I have read, then listened to the audiobook, and would gladly listen to or read yet again. Here are the opening lines of that book, The Night Circus, by Erin Morgenstern:

The circus arrives without warning. No announcements precede it. It is simply there, when yesterday it was not. Within the black-and-white striped canvas tents is an utterly unique experience full of breathtaking amazements. It is called Le Cirque des RĂªves, and it is open only at night.

This week, consider sharing a few lines of poetry or prose that delight you, inspire you, or encourage you to lay down some lines of your own. I hope the week ahead brings you all the goodness it can.

Last week’s goals:

allan wilson (carried over)
1. Exercise every day (habit building is the goal here!)
2. Revisions paper 1
3. Draft revisions paper 2
4. Submit overdue, boring but very necessary report

Contingent Cassandra
1. Actually finish grading
2. Coordinate grant project
3. Do my own contributions for this stage of the grant project
4. Planning for the next few weeks (at least begin)
5. Begin catching up with household tasks neglected during summer term (grocery shopping, laundry, etc.)

Daisy: in the field

Dame Eleanor Hull
1. Gym every day, yoga every other day, keep eating safe food.
2. Finish the MMP-1 (except for final footnotes, grooming, and so on).
3. Work on free-writing and outlining the conference paper.
4. Garden work twice.
5. Finish and submit fall syllabuses.
6. Pay bills early because I'll be gone when I usually do them.

Earnest English
1. SFP/writing: Try to write/study 4x/week. 1x and 1y this week. Enjoy.
2. Gardening: Water seeds in basement. Keep on getting stuff for blueberries and elderberries. Water. Weed. Maintain.
3. Work: Two days at work this week! Send two important scary emails. Do lots of tasks at work. Spend some time cleaning up office?
4. LittleProject: send a packet this week to CoolJournal? and to othercooljournal. To local organization who might care?
5. Yoga/tai chi/meditate. 5 minutes of meditation this week. 
6. Family fun and tasks.
7. Read.
8. Some organization of the office or bedroom. 

Elizabeth Anne Mitchell
Try again with the Slow Professor.
Write every day on Pierpont.
Draft two posts on gratitude.

Good Enough Woman
1) Finish revision of chapter 3.
2) Finish revision of chapter 4 (this will really be a stretch).
3) Do some prep work (!!!): Student reading packets to reprographics. draft syllabi. 
4) Walk to the bay 5 times.
5) Go to appointments.
6) Do financial thing for daughter. Order stuff for son.

heu mihi
1. Read up on, and draft definition of, core term for my project
2. Read and take notes on one book for new class
3. Select and arrange pictures for anniversary book
4. Start cleaning up and conducting additional research for ch. 3. Maybe make a to-do list.
5. Run at least once. Meditate at least twice. (Setting the bar low....)

humming42
1 Finish and submit Mercury, now TRQ
2 Make a list of RBP tasks
3 Email RBP editor re photographs
4 Read 50 pages for book review 1

JaneB
1) do some decluttering and cleaning tasks every day
2) do one fun thing (read, craft, whatever) every day
3) do one useful/active thing every day (go into town, go to the gym, whatever).
4) nap as much as I like, as long as I go to bed by midnight regardless!
5) morning pages (freewriting is a Good Thing).

Karen
-survive simultaneous deadlines; set task list each evening for the next day and hold those priorities
- breath, move like water
- use some of the extra time from only having to look after myself to actually look after myself - stretching/exercise, some minor therapeutic decluttering.

KJHaxton
1. make poster for conference and draft manuscript based on topic
2. start work revamping 1st year teaching including relevant aspect of House project
3. do some background reading for a few other projects and start making notes
4. hand crafted items, knitting, sorting through photos - something like that.

Matilda (carried over)
1) Work on the review article I had put off for a long time.
2) Continue to work on Chapter 2.
3) 5 minute exercise more than three times a day.

Susan
1. Finish revisions to bibliography
2. Begin reading for tenure review
3. Begin syllabus work
4. Start thinking about conference talk in two weeks
5. Go outside and enjoy the garden

Waffles

1. Finish tweaking grant
2. Submit it
3. Hopefully take some time to rest
4. Make to do list of all the things that fell by the wayside while I was granting.

50 comments:

  1. My poem:
    First Fig by Edna St. Vincent Millay

    My candle burns at both ends;
    It will not last the night;
    But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends—
    It gives a lovely light!

    Last week's goals:
    1. Finish tweaking grant -DONE
    2. Submit it-DONE
    3. Hopefully take some time to rest -DONE-ish
    4. Make to do list of all the things that fell by the wayside while I was granting. -DONE

    I'm completely worn out and emotional. Getting that grant out took everything out of me. I now have so much to do, and it's overwhelming.

    This week:
    1. Get body paper revised
    2. do three lit reviews done for mentor
    3. get analyses done for report
    4. work on religion paper
    5. start thinking about next 4 (ugh) grant applications

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    Replies
    1. Waffles, your post resonates strongly with me. I'm two days late in submitting an essay, and really struggling with the burn out I'm experiencing. Just putting a name to it was helpful, but I sense that both of us would feel less overwhelmed if we had not burned so hard for so many weeks. So a question to the group: what are your remedies for burnout, especially when you still have urgent work ahead of you?

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    2. I think you have to take a full day off, not worry and think about what you have to do. It's very hard, but if you just declare the day a holiday, it helps clear your brain. And while you feel as if you're falling behind, a day when you go hiking, read trashy (or good) novels, cook, whatever AND DON'T THINK ABOUT WORK gives you a lot more energy.

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    3. Bake, or cook.
      Go outside and look at the sky, a tree, a flower, or water. For a long time.
      Read something fun and escapist.
      Step away from the computer and do something physical.

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    4. Agree with the suggestions to take a break - and making it a meaningful one, away from the computer, even if it has to be short.

      I find for me that also recognising what you have done helps - a done list, or finding someone else who will confirm the progress you have made. And breaking down the remaining task into smaller portions makes it easier to push myself on to 'just do this'.

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    5. I love all of these suggestions! And they make sense. Often, instead of taking a REAL break, I just spend 2-3 days sort of working but being very unproductive, so a true break probably increases productivity in the end. Great advice.

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  2. "The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills." Ernest Hemingway, _A Farewell to Arms_.

    Last week's goals and results:
    1. Gym every day, yoga every other day, keep eating safe food. SORT OF. NO. See below for excuses and cursing.
    2. Finish the MMP-1 (except for final footnotes, grooming, and so on). YES.
    3. Work on free-writing and outlining the conference paper. YES.
    4. Garden work twice. YES.
    5. Finish and submit fall syllabuses. NO.
    6. Pay bills early because I'll be gone when I usually do them. MOSTLY.

    Analysis and cursing:
    1. I did fine with the yoga. I had to take a day off from the gym due to injury. Considering that it is as hard for me not to work out as it is for many people to do so, maybe I should give myself gym credit for resting/icing when I needed to. I now have new shoes and I hope the problem will not recur.

    Food is where the cursing comes in. I HAVE to remember to check ingredients, even in my own kitchen, because some things have been around for the right amount of time for me to think they are safe---as in, thinking that I've used them and they're fine---when actually they were purchased before I had to start being as careful as I presently have to be, so they actually have ingredients that were once okay in trace amounts and are no longer okay in any amount. Also I have to talk to servers in restaurants and fast food places to be certain they know what I can't have. I hate being so high-maintenance. I want a cast-iron gut that will allow me to eat politely whatever is served to me. Instead, I am one of Those People who endlessly fuss about food, to the exasperation of most people around her (except for Sir John who has to live with my discomfort almost as closely as I do).

    2 & 3: good progress. I've tinkered a bit with the MMP-1 since my writing group agreed that I'm done, but most of my energy has gone to the conference paper. I need to work on organization (of course), but there are close to enough words now.

    4. Good progress. Heaps of bellflower roots are now dying in the sun. I gloat. Of course there's still a lot more to go, and I'm nervous about trying to dig out the ones around the glorious clematis in the side yard. I don't want to kill the clematis. OTOH, this week I dug out a whole clump of hostas, de-tangled bellflower roots from theirs, and re-planted them; and dissected more bellflower roots away from the rose bush's roots. Both plants seem to have forgiven me. May the clematis be as phlegmatic . . .

    5. Oh my Cat. Syllabi are absolutely TRQ now.

    6. I made deposits and paid some bills; still have to do a few more; one of the utility bills hasn't arrived yet. But I'm sure I can do all this before I leave.

    Goals for the coming week:
    Ugh, it's really all TRQ this week.
    1. Check ingredients, talk to people as necessary, be careful about food.
    2. Finish and submit syllabi.
    3. Make arrangements with family members.
    4. Finish conference paper, including printing it out; make sure to have backups of it and powerpoint in various places (Dropbox, extra flash drive).
    5. Trip prep including packing, bills, knowledge of itinerary, leaving the house/study/closet in good shape for re-entry (which is going to be its own brand of crazy).
    6. Tell chair of dept what I have done with my sabbatical and give reminder that I will not be present for pre-term faculty meeting (and why not).
    7. Other work: a set of proofs, MMP-1 footnotes, reading for the other revisions.
    8. Reading through this, I can see I need to do something to ease the pressured feeling. Find something fun to read; plan ways to escape family, if necessary; spend time outside.

    I'll probably be a late check-in next week: not sure what my internet access or time will be like.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lots of good Yes on your list. I hope travel and conference go well, leaving you re-energized for re-enetry.

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  3. ". . .There are moments when the body is as numinous
    as words, days that are the good flesh continuing.
    Such tenderness, those afternoons and evenings,
    saying blackberry, blackberry, blackberry."

    ~Robert Hass, "Meditation at Lagunitas"

    Last Week

    1. SFP/writing: Try to write/study 4x/week. 1x and 1y this week. Enjoy. Wrote 2/week. 1x is sort of done, but 1y is not happening. Must think on this.
    2. Gardening: Water seeds in basement. Keep on getting stuff for blueberries and elderberries. Water. Weed. Maintain. Yes. Full of trepidation because planting must now commence!
    3. Work: Two days at work this week! Send two important scary emails. Do lots of tasks at work. Spend some time cleaning up office?sent 1/2 emails. Lots of tasks done. It takes quite a while to de-work my brain, I've realized. Meditation helps.
    4. LittleProject: send a packet this week to CoolJournal? and to othercooljournal. To local organization who might care? nope
    5. Yoga/tai chi/meditate. 5 minutes of meditation this week. Actually meditated 3 times this week. I rock.
    6. Family fun and tasks. !!!
    7. Read. !!!
    8. Some organization of the office or bedroom. !!!

    I don't know if I'm meditating right, but I have this sound box with weird sounds and I put it on meditate and then I sit there on a pillow and battle it out with my monkey mind while I try to remember to focus on my breathing. I've realized this week that I need help making the transition from work to home because my brain gets all wrapped up in work. I've also been inspired, so I think I've figured out some things to help me stay or get inspired.

    I'm not ready to think about the coming week, so I'll do that later.

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    Replies
    1. I would concur that meditation for me is also concentrating on my breath to subdue monkey mind. Usually, I fall asleep, which I don't think is the desired outcome.

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    2. I have also found that monkey mind can be soothed by repeating phrases, and find that when I'm anxious concentrating on my breathing can make me a bit hypochondriacal (because I'm thinking about a physical process, because I often have mild levels of allergies/sinus blockage which make 'in through the nose out through the mouth' not quite comfortable etc.etc.), or make my breathing tighten up a bit, and have you ever noticed that if you breath out slowly and run out of breath before the end of your count so you're trying to breathe out still your lungs make sort of wierd noises, well, your lungs or your throat, sort of crackly wheezing, well, at the LEAST that means I have asthma to MonkeyBrain and there are all sorts of other less pleasing options)...

      So I meditate by sitting upright on a chair or stool (because I can do that in reasonable comfort for longer than on the floor) and slowly, silently repeating whatever set of words I've chosen, letting them run through my mind like rosary beads, and find that often lures monkey mind in to throw up related images rather than yammer away. And in a really good session drift from words to silence with the same soothing effect, but more often I drop off...

      I use a mix of things - some spiritual pieces, some not - depending on the mood I want - from the poem I shared here, for example, I sometimes use "there is no savor more sweet more salt", just that phrase - I like the feel of it - or "I can eat as I go". Also "for we have here no abiding city" is for some reason very comforting if I can get the tune out of my head, and "I receive life from all around me, to all around me I breathe life" (words about breathing are fine as a focus, for some reason, and if I think that slowly, I find I start to breathe in on the first phrase and out on the second without thinking about breathing directly, and before I know where I am everything is mellower and my shoulders are dropping).

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    3. Thank you for this! I really have thought I must be meditating all wrong. =)

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  4. I love this week's prompt, but I am so narrow-minded right now, that I just can't really think of anything. But the good news is that I *finally* got feedback from my supervisor, and it was better than I hoped it might be. So for words that motivate me, I will share part of her email message with you:

    "I have read the introduction and two chapters with great pleasure. The thesis has taken shape wonderfully and much of what I read needs little or no work which is why my comments are minimal. You are very much ‘there’ in terms of the level you are writing at and the coherence of the project. Very exciting to see."

    I must admit, this was very motivating. Before I got it, I was starting to flounder and flag, but now I'm feeling energized and focused (well, sort of focused). I'm not sure she'll have time to read my revisions to the second half of the thesis before I submit, but her comments have given me the confidence to complete it with, perhaps, just a bit of help from some local, friendly, proofreaders (if necessary).

    Isn't it amazing what positive feedback can do? I must remember this with my own students. I try to, but I am often more critical than complimentary about my students' writing.

    Last week:
    1) Finish revision of chapter 3.--NOT DONE. But I'm close. I've been bouncing back and forth between chapters 3 and 4, which in the end, I think, will make chapter 3 much better.
    2) Finish revision of chapter 4 (this will really be a stretch).--NO. But I re-read the primary source, and did a lot of research (finding additional sources), and I'm still reading stuff I found.
    3) Do some prep work (!!!): Student reading packets to reprographics. draft syllabi. YES, I did some. Packet is almost ready for repro.
    4) Walk to the bay 5 times.--YES, I think so.
    5) Go to appointments.--DONE!
    6) Do financial thing for daughter. Order stuff for son. NO and YES.

    My family was out of town for a few days. The time didn't feel super productive because I had to do a lot of reading, which is SO much slower than writing, but it was still good. Now I'm trying to maintain momentum even as my four classes (3 preps) start in a week. I'm trying to create assignments schedules that will allow me to sort of coast for the first 5-6 weeks of school while I finish the thesis. It's not gonna be pretty. But I see the light at the end of the tunnel!

    Meetings start this week. I will be torn between getting back into the teaching thing, enjoying the last week of summer vacation with kids, and staying thesis focused! I can't believe the semester starts in six days.

    This week:
    1) Reading packet and articles printed and submitted to reprographics by Monday.
    2) At least two syllabi finished by Wednesday, the third one by Thursday.
    3) Stop reading and start writing by Wednesday, if not before. Have a complete but rough revision of chapter four by Sunday.
    4) Do at least one work night.
    5) Pay bills.
    6) Do a movie outing with the kids.





    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yay for positive comments from your supervisor. It really does help!

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    2. What wonderful things! It's true that not only do you have the confidence, knowing that your writing is truly excellent, but also that you don't have to invest time in significant rewriting and advising.

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    3. Excellent news from the supervisor! It sounds like you're truly heading into the home stretch.

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    4. Great comments, and suggests you really don't need to worry about whether you're working at the right level, must be very reassuring!

      The problem of giving such compliments to students is that they have to be earned! I often find myself struggling with how to praise poor work, even though I know praise is a good motivator - "yay you successfully wrote in sentences for three pages, most of the sentences are relevant to the topic set, AND you handed it in on time!" is honest but... hmmm... I find myself using phrases like "a solid start" or picking out single points "I like how you used some references that didn't come straight from the reading list"...

      So your comments are even BETTER because of their rarity and I hope you are feeling really inspired to get 'er done!

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    5. What wonderful comments. So glad you feel motivated! aw

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  6. "There is no savor
    more sweet, more salt
    than to be glad to be
    what, woman,
    and who, myself,
    I am, a shadow
    that grows longer as the sun
    moves, drawn out
    on a thread of wonder.
    If I bear burdens
    they begin to be remembered
    as gifts, goods, a basket
    of bread that hurts
    my shoulders but closes me
    in fragrance. I can
    eat as I go"
    Denise Levetov, Stepping Westward

    This poem makes me feel part of something much, much bigger than me, and the smallness is comforting. The image of transforming the burdens into bread is joyous and productive - I love the idea of seeing the good, and of gaining sustenance from things that initially are hard and painful, and in some ways that's what writing is about, the kaleidoscope of "bread" - the planting and nuturing and harvesting and threshing and winnowing and grinding and hefting and mixing and kneading and rising and knocking back and baking, the continuity of bread down the centuries - is a great metaphor for what the wordsmith does.

    There are also personal associations - the smell of baking bread was the smell of Saturday lunchtime when I was a teen (my Dad made the bread for the week on Saturdays for a few years, after my mum broke two fingers so we had shop bread and he discovered he HATED shop bread, and then that he was a much better bread-maker than my Mum, having an engineer's concern for detail rather than a good plain cook's tendency to improvise, and he thumped out the week's frustrations on the dough), and getting in from music club to the knowledge that there was a whole day and a half without school or people I didn't choose to be with is tied up with the lovely, lovely smell of that bread.

    I did very few of my things on the list this week. It was a good plan, but "end-of-term-itis" and lethargy won, and I've mostly been reading detective stories and taking long naps and NOT going to bed before midnight. I have done a few house chores, and feel inspired to do more... tomorrow. I'm just very, very tired. It's pathetic really but I guess it's what my system thinks it needs, and heaven alone knows how much there will be to do at the last minute come Autumn, so... oh, and I caught up with The Slow Professor discussion, which is SO interesting! And reminds me that I love thinking, and my profession, I just really hate the world I'm doing it in at the moment.

    This coming week, I've a few more things planned, I'll spend a day with my niece for example, and so I'll carry over my goals and hope to make a bit more progress!
    1) do some decluttering and cleaning tasks every day
    2) do one fun thing (read, craft, whatever) every day
    3) do one useful/active thing every day (go into town, go to the gym, whatever).
    4) nap as much as I like, as long as I go to bed by midnight regardless!
    5) morning pages (freewriting is a Good Thing).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "The common woman is as common as a common loaf of bread---and will rise." Judy Grahn.

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    2. I just love, love your paragraph about the bread. Lovely writing. And I married an engineer, so I totally know what you mean.

      Yay for naps and detective novels! I'm sure that your body/mind knows that those things are the proper remedies. When I was pregnant and past due for the birth of my first child. The ONLY things I could do were nap and read detective novels: they provided the perfect amount of relaxation and distraction.

      Enjoy!

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  7. The Purple Finch Song (not sure if formatting will work)
    I.
    We thought it was
    a
    Red-
    poll
    RED-
    poll
    RED, RED, RED
    poll
    until we saw the
    lady.

    II.
    When you
    meet
    the woman
    you
    come to terms
    with the species.

    III.
    Those handsome male purple finches
    so royally bathed
    in the juice of strawberries
    had us fooled;
    if you want the truth, you know,
    you've got to meet
    the lady.

    - Diane Wakoski

    I love this poem, which I discovered in college. It just reminds me always to keep looking, not to assume that I know what I'm seeing.

    Last weeks goals.
    1. Finish revisions to bibliography. FINALLY DONE
    2. Begin reading for tenure review. Well, I've got one of the books out
    3. Begin syllabus work NO
    4. Start thinking about conference talk in two weeks MAYBE FOR 2 minutes
    5. Go outside and enjoy the garden. A LITTLE

    Analysis: The bibliography was complicated, and boring, and detail rich. It's long, and it took time.
    I also got wrapped up in some work stuff, clearing out emails etc.
    I'll start the tenure review when I finish this post. The syllabus and conference presentation are becoming TRQ.

    Goals for next week:
    1. Format footnotes. (Less niggly than the bibliography, as I've done a complete bib, and the footnotes are all short form.)
    2. Draft syllabus
    3. Draft comments for conference in 10 days
    4. Read all materials for tenure review
    5. Write letter for former colleague

    And meetings start up this week. Sigh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Between you and JaneB, I feel I am among my people. I used to read a lot of both Levertov and Wakoski. Not sure how or when I stopped, but it's lovely to be reminded.

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    2. I love hearing what other people choose to hold in their minds - those sets of phrases like pebbles in the pocket, smooth and comforting eevry time they are rediscovered, a small joy.

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    3. Mine sounds rather grim, but it makes me feel better about being (or feeling, anyway) fragile, breakable, and optimistic about the possibility of being stronger at the broken places. It also sounds like something that could be Anglo-Saxon.

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    4. :-)

      There was a joke among the students taking Anglo-Saxon when I was at uni (I may have been a scientist but I had cool friends!) that the final essay was on any topic of their choice, but they only had vocabulary to write about slaying a thousand men in a mead-hall...

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    5. Thank you for the beautiful poem. aw

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  8. Topic: I'm really enjoying everyone else's selections, but am coming up dry myself right now. If I think of something before I check out for a break, I'll come back and post it; if not, maybe one goal for the break is to get to a point where I might remember and/or find something (though I'm not planning to read anything very literary. The closest I've come to literary reading in some time is the Bible, and not a lot of that outside weekly selections from the common lectionary).

    Goals for last week:

    1. Actually finish grading
    2. Coordinate grant project
    3. Do my own contributions for this stage of the grant project
    4. Planning for the next few weeks (at least begin)
    5. Begin catching up with household tasks neglected during summer term (grocery shopping, laundry, etc.)

    Achieved: pretty much all (not too surprising given that I set the goals two days ago). I do still have some work on the grant project to do, both before and after a break. And I've done enough planning to schedule that break, and admit to myself that there's simply no way I'm traveling for a break this summer. I'm a bit depressed about that, since it means not following through on some keeping/catching with friends and family goals that really were important to me, but (1) I left the planning too late, and (2) what I really *need* is some time off at home. (What I'd really like is about 4 weeks between now and c. August 22 -- one to spend at home relaxing, one to spend a home doing household chores, one to travel, and one for class prep -- plus a week in June when I planned the travel, but that's not an option, so I have to work with what I've got).

    So, goals for the next two weeks (since I'll be on a no/minimal internet-use staycation next weekend; I'll next check in the weekend following 8/19):

    1. Finish grant-project reviews; coordinate grant project as necessary; get my individual contributions as close to finished as possible before break (and finish after break)
    2. Some friends/family contact (before and after break)
    3. Do the most necessary early class prep before break (welcome/warning letters to student in classes with an onlne component -- which is all of them, actually)
    4. Some household stuff (mostly take a load to storage)
    5. Take a break (working in a bit of exercise if possible, and trying to get/keep on a regular sleep schedule and eat reasonably well, but focus mostly on unplugging and leisure reading)

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    Replies
    1. Isn't it boring being realistic?? Sorry to hear about the non-travel situation, but hope you manage to get some really deep rest and refreshment in...

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    2. I hope that your break (once you get there) is lovely and will provide an acceptable substitute for what you really want.

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  9. On my whiteboard at the moment is:
    "teaching is like trying to describe an elephant in the dark to fish"
    which reminds me that everyone's background and perceptions are different.
    With respect to words, there's a quote from a magazine I read over a decade ago that I need to uncover. I'll trawl through the back issues and see if I can find it again.


    Last week
    KJHaxton
    1. make poster for conference and draft manuscript based on topic - did a bit
    2. start work revamping 1st year teaching including relevant aspect of House project - did a bit
    3. do some background reading for a few other projects and start making notes - did a bit
    4. hand crafted items, knitting, sorting through photos - something like that. - did a bit

    Last week was a bit bitty, I flitted around from task to task a bit too much and largely wanted to be doing something else no matter what I started doing.

    This week:
    1. Finish poster and draft of manuscript
    2. work out a coherent plan of what will be done and when between now and Christmas
    3. hand crafted items...perhaps work more on the new blanket.

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    Replies
    1. Nice quote! And I know what you mean about the flitting - often a symptom of overwhelm for me, which comes up when the immediate pressure is off but steady work would really help set things up for the next busy period... but my brain Does Not Want!

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    2. Yes, I think it is overwhelm as well: so much that could be done but don't really want to start on the next bit.

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    3. I found the other quote:
      "We choose the life we lead, whether we recognise it or not, and deserve neither pity nor sympathy for choices made. Further, exhausted or otherwise, I am pursuing my dream, and there is no excess, there is no stress, there is no pain that ca not be endured, and endured gladly, in pursuit of that dream."
      - J. Michael Straczynski, Babylon 5 Magazine, 1997, 2, pg 66

      So it was nearly 20 years ago I read it but it's stayed with me through three degrees and this job. I don't always agree with it - it was simpler in 1997 to believe I was pursuing my dream (I was an undergrad). It's more complex now and pursuing dreams feels like it has an element of selfishness in it, particularly with family. But the gist of it, I still love the gist of it. And I love JMS's writing in B5 and others.

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    4. OOO, I like that. Very thought-provoking.

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  10. AUGH! Blogger has eaten my comment TWICE. I'm done.

    LAST WEEK:
    1. Read up on, and draft definition of, core term for my project
    DONE
    2. Read and take notes on one book for new class
    NOT FINISHED
    3. Select and arrange pictures for anniversary book
    NOT DONE
    4. Start cleaning up and conducting additional research for ch. 3. Maybe make a to-do list.
    DONE
    5. Run at least once. Meditate at least twice. (Setting the bar low....)
    DONE

    This week:
    1. Finish teaching book
    2. Read next teaching book (as much as I can--it's long)
    3. Read 3 essays for ch. 3
    4. Finish run-through of ch. 3
    5. Meditate 3 times, run twice
    6. Select, arrange, and print anniversary pictures

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have spells of it doing that. Two options: write your comment in word or similar, and copy-paste (I don't like that myself, I like writing into the box on the blog)

      OR select and copy the comment before you press publish, so if it vanishes from Blogger you can just repaste into the comment box or into a word doc. I do this with key commands (on a PC) - ctrl-A to select all, ctrl-C to copy, before I hit the publish button. It's nearly a proper habit by now...

      Yay for some good solid done's in that list!

      Delete
    2. I always copy my comment before publishing. Multiple gmail accounts seem to cause chaos.

      Delete
  11. "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." -- Eleanor Roosevelt
    "Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men." -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

    This prompt has been especially helpful for me, having lost my usual (some friends would say my trademark) positive outlook. The Eleanor Roosevelt quotation was in a draft post I discovered while composing my gratitude posts. The Goethe quotation was on one of the pages I was adding to my planner. Serendipity sometimes is quite fortuitous. I am often the “glass half-full” person, but I haven’t been for some months now. I spent the weekend in quiet contemplation of why I changed, and what I can do about it. Please feel free to point out any negativity you notice.

    Last week’s goals:
    Try again with the Slow Professor. Finished reading the book. I now need to join the discussion.
    Write every day on Pierpont. Three out of seven.
    Draft two posts on gratitude. Yes.

    Analysis:
    My realization was that I let my work situation color my mood far too much, and in so doing, gave it too much power. I cannot change the situation, so I must change how much I let it bother me, because it was paralyzing me, and I was accomplishing next to nothing. Now I’m back to seeing the half-full glass, or as a friend of mine said, the full glass, because what isn’t liquid is air.

    Next week’s goals:
    Add to the Slow Professor discussion.
    Write 5 out of 7 days on Pierpont.
    Finalize drafts on gratitude.
    Walk at the dog park, instead of sitting and watching.

    A lovely week to everyone!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm also giving work far too much power - well, the work CONTEXT, because one of the problems of being an academic is that many of us at least are really happy when immersed in The Work that calls us, the problem is that we do it for pay and in an increasingly corporatized university (yes, the Slow Professor is really, really pertinent for this).

      How did you change your views? Any advice?

      Delete
    2. JaneB, I concentrated on the Work, and that I didn't want to let this kind of work context interfere with it. Administrators do have an effect on the Work, but in my case, more because I let them bother me, than in direct effect.

      I also try to see the long view, in that I have had this kind of work context in many universities, and although I do sometimes worry it's me, I truly do not think so, but is more the matter of the beast in academia these days.

      Delete
    3. When I went through a huge crisis last summer, I realized that while my work context was out of my control, I could control how I worked in it. So I tried to be the kind of person I wanted to be, as best I could given the situation. That involved focusing on THE WORK, more than the context. But it's not always easy, and things happen that remind you of the things you can't control. And that's always painful.

      Delete
    4. The split between Work and work context makes me crazy. The work context is so disruptive at times and I agree that often the only thing within our power is to decide how we respond to it. I try to remember to respond to things rather than react. Often that means taking more time before hitting reply (or drafting and redrafting) but I can't see a problem in slowing things down sometimes when the work context is all in the heat of the moment.
      I think trying to stay honest to yourself helps but it isn't easy.

      Delete
    5. Yes, I was going to say that it seems that in the last year or two, you've had to really change how you approach your work. It seems like a good change, but perhaps other aspects of your outlook didn't adjust in ways you wanted them to? Maybe health challenges have also had an impact? Sounds like you are finding your way. On the other hand, no need to feel like you have to be sunshine and roses on the outside if that's not what's going on inside, but it sounds like you're focused on the inside.

      Delete
  12. "manner" of the beast is what I meant to say above. KJ has a good point--it does help to respond rather than react. I also have written things out, then burned them in the fireplace, but things have gotten better since then. I'm no longer called a "wanna-be professor" or "uppity" (at least not to my face).

    Like Susan says, I try to focus on the work, and the sublime joy of it that feels like diving into a cool pool on a hot day.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm sorry that I am not as present here as I would like to be.

    From Leonard Cohen:

    Ring the bells that still can ring
    Forget your perfect offering
    There is a crack in everything
    That's how the light gets in

    Last week:
    1 Finish and submit Mercury, now TRQ: yes but late submission
    2 Make a list of RBP tasks: no
    3 Email RBP editor re photographs: yes
    4 Read 50 pages for book review 1: I read about 20 pages but there are only 50 remaining

    This week:
    Really, just make as much project as possible on that book manuscript.

    See you on the other side.

    ReplyDelete
  14. allan wilson
    Horribly late, but here goes
    1. Exercise every day (habit building is the goal here!)- MOSTLY YES
    2. Revisions paper 1 -YES, COMPLETED thank goodness
    3. Draft revisions paper 2-MOSTLY, but not quite finished
    4. Submit overdue, boring but very necessary report- YES. Well, I had to!

    This week's goals:
    1. Exercise daily
    2. Finish revisions on paper 2
    3. Write letter to the editor
    4. Listen to lots of music - I need de-stressing this week.

    From a song I like (translated)

    the world turns and shifts
    as do we

    ReplyDelete
  15. This is horribly late, but here goes:

    This Week's Goals

    Last Week

    1. SFP/writing: Try to write 1 time this week. Try to figure out what's going on here (besides really just feeling like I'm on vacation).
    2. Gardening: Plant blueberries and elderberries.
    3. Work: Work on service task.
    4. LittleProject: no goals
    5. Yoga/tai chi/meditate one time this week.
    6. Read: decide on new book to read.

    ReplyDelete