the grid

the grid

Saturday 20 February 2016

Week 7 Overcoming Internal Resistance

A colleague shared a worksheet from his tenure support group that I found very helpful, if more than slightly uncomfortable.  It focuses on internal resistance to writing, making one name what is the internal resistance to working on a specific writing goal, and then work on ways to overcome it.

For example, I am horrified at the enormity of revising all of my textual footnotes from the dissertation and putting them into English for the commentary.  My internal resistance is being overwhelmed.  One way to address that resistance would be to break the task down into small increments of time.  I started with fifteen minutes.

I also suffer from perfectionism, which I address by using a tip from my creative writing studies--not editing as I write.  All of my academic training goes against that sort of rough draft that is allowed to continue as rough as it starts until it is done. Also, I find that my internal critic is much like the toddler that interrupts every five seconds,  Finally, the interruptions  and second-guessing overcome any forward progress, and the writing grinds to a halt. However, the tenure support group is counseling the same thing--write without editing until the first draft of the article is done.

As a final example, I suffer from imposter syndrome.  I have to remind myself that I do have something to offer to the academic discussion, and that what I have to say does matter. After a  few minutes of positive conversation with myself, I can set the timer for fifteen minutes and write.

I offer this spreadsheet as a possibility, but I’d love to hear any other suggestions you have.

Report in with the usual format for goals for last week, new goals, and discussion.  And, as always, move like water.

allan wilson
1. Do overdue biological measurements
2. 10,000 steps each day
3. Stick to a nutritious eating plan
4. Do 250 words on the mammal paper.
So, this week my book project is again taking a back seat, but I think I will sit that goal out this week and focus on achieving these others.

Contingent Cassandra
1. Fit in more regular exercise
2. Keep working on establishing bedtime routine
3. Continue work on boxes (another storage run and/or some packing/mailing, whichever fits in better around other things, including the weather)
4. Make some more oatmeal, and some more soup
5. Try to figure out some kind of time off

Daisy
It is a short week with a holiday, but no teaching, so FINISH REVISIONS is all I'm doing.

Danne
Do one PhD-related task a day to prepare for the probation review
Write fiction EVERY DAY
Cook good things for loved ones

Earnest English
1. Research and Read: Finish article revisions this week and turn them in. Keep toe in the water with Research during this Service-intensive time by writing or reading. 3x
2. Health: My anxiety about one thing has spiraled off the charts, and it is clear to me that it is not based on any kind of rational foundation, but is just part of some hormonal ungluing/anxiety disorder. Perhaps this week I could move forward by even one exercise in the Anxiety or Stress CBT books? Other than this, I have to keep up the good work with food, supplements, and sleep. Must get sleep.
3. Family: So we have a couple things in the cooker for Spirited Son, and we need to move forward with that. I need to talk to his piano teacher and make plans for a friend of his to come over. We also need to look at the Cub Scouts. Perhaps some kind of gym class or something so he gets some movement. So I need to keep things moving here. My crucial work here is to stop talking about Cool Service Project and work at home. I need to be more with them when I'm with them. I think part of the answer to this is that when I'm home on the weekdays, I need to treat it more like a workday and leave the weekends completely family oriented. I need to remember to not talk or get emotive about work with them.
4. Herbalism and Gardening. It's the middle of February, and I need to get my act together with planning the gardening for the year. I started this, but I need to order some seeds and the blueberry plants. I also need to figure out when I need to start seeds in the basement. This is an important part of family actually. I'm also going to make that kava kava thing today.
5. Work: I need to keep up a decent grading pace while also leading a search and working very seriously this week on Big Service Project. I really think that the key to moving like water with all this is to moderate emotions and not let myself go into getting frustrated or anxious or angry. I need to work on changing my attitude a bit better (not in a silly pop-psycho way, but in a reframing way to see if there are better ways to think about it all). I do love what I'm doing in Big Service Project, so that really helps.

Elizabeth Anne Mitchell
1) Another page of footnotes 2x.
2) Respond and support this group, which has been very good to me.

Good Enough Woman
1) Read article by guy I met at the conference
2) Print, read, and reconsider outline for intro
3) Write 500 words of intro
4) Finish reading/reviewing Chapter 2
5) Read 75 pages of primary source
6) Put my phone away when I'm with the kiddos (I don't look at it very often, but I feel self-conscious when I do. I want to model more mindfulness, not the need to check messages as a reflex.)
7) Help son figure out his gaming problem.

heu mihi
1) Ideally, go through the whole to-do list on the talk and fill in the blanks (with notes if not actual paragraphs)
2) Complete Article H
3) Start the next article on my list
4) Firm up plans for Feb. conference travel (i.e. look at the damn bus schedule already)

Humming42
No new goals set; previous goals met!

JaneB
1) bed before midnight, and ensure sufficient protein and fruit & veg in diet (even if accompanied by too many carbs and sweets) - continue to limit dairy (helps reduce cattarrh and general phlegmy disgustingness)
2) an hour of time spent with Picky Paper
3) something fun, e.g. guilt free novel reading BEFORE quiz grading!

karen
1. Exercise x3
2. No crazy late nights
3. Hold Friday afternoon writing time
4. Move like water and calmly get all the pieces in place for beginning of semester.

KJ Haxton
1. Finish very short article on Loop project
2. Finish hat number 3
3. Get scary data in order to tackle second scary twin paper.

Kris (from week 5)
1. Finish the paper and send to group for comments
2. Pitch a short piece to the media
3. Sort out commitments to grant I don't like.
4. Keep up to date with my admin & leadership responsibilities.

Susan
1. Finish ms and email to press
2. Finish book review
3. Read at least one prize book
4. Prepare for meeting with accountant re. taxes
5. Exercise 5 times
6. Sleep regularly

28 comments:

  1. Topic: I blush to admit that my examples barely scratch the surface of my internal resistance to writing. I experience everything from what the tenure group called “workcrastination” to low motivation, to wondering if any of it matters. I have experimented with the extremely small, attainable goals, and they do help me, both because I can meet them, and because I then gain the confidence to surpass them.

    Last week’s goals:
    1) Another page of footnotes 2x. I did most of this, despite losing my access to an office with a door where I could write in peace.

    2) Respond and support this group, which has been very good to me. Yes. It may have been only today, but I’m going to call it good!

    Next week’s goals:
    1) Set up a half-hour planning meeting with myself for my writing--another hint from the tenure group.

    2) Use some of the resistance techniques to get a few more footnotes done.

    3) Figure out bribes that motivate me to work.

    4) Move like water, float like mist.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sounds like you're making some progress, despite both internal resistance and external obstacles at both home and work (it says something about the pressures you're facing that I can imagine that the lost office was either at home or at work). In some ways, the footnotes sound like a good thing to focus on right now: they have to be done some time, and for all that they're fiddly, frustrating work, they're also work that has to be done some time, and that comes in small, discrete units. And you'll presumably be very glad at some time in the future that they, or even some of them, are done!

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    2. I did both workcrastination and wondering if any of it matters earlier today. In fact, I graded instead of reading for research because reading is *fun* so I have to do the thing that feels like heavy labor first.

      But "move like water, float like mist" is peacefully magnificent.

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    3. Thank you, Cassandra. It helps me to have work that can be done when the internal resistance is high--and I will be happy when at least many of the footnotes are done.

      I made myself a pest, and insisted that the office (which was taken at work--my home office disappeared years ago) be restored in some way. I was given a small, windowless office (DH calls it a broom closet), which I have to share. I'm sure there's some punishment involved, since I do tend to needle administration more than is probably good for me.

      Humming42, I often do the nasty task first, which isn't always the best approach for me, because then I run out of time to do the research. One thing I have tried is to leaven the "fun" tasks into the nasty, as a reward for a certain amount done, or amount of time spent.

      I'm glad you like my mantra--please feel to steal at will. ;)

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    5. The thing about doing nasty tasks first is interesting. I do this too generally, and also find I end up with no time for the fun bit that was my "reward". So now I am trying to switch to a different system, with allotted time blocks for different activities, rather than simply a list of tasks to get through. I think it's working a bit better - I tend not to spend that extra half hour agonising about something, or putting the extra comments in- (as long as I am reasonably realistic about the time periods allotted for tasks to begin with). aw

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    6. That's an interesting approach, allan. I used to always run out of time, but I am now working on over-estimating m y time so that I can get to the fun things as well. I wll have to try the blocks of time as well.

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  2. So I think it's really useful to think about internal resistance, though mine is not to getting researchy things done (if only!), but grading. It's the overwhelm that I'm going to have to do the same task, and not an easy task, over and over again until the pile is done (usually stressing out my family in the process). So it is one of those situations that I really should be addressing in little bits, not that I do that very often. But that is probably a key strategy here.

    Last Week's Goals
    1. Research and Read: Finish article revisions this week and turn them in. DONE! Keep toe in the water with Research during this Service-intensive time by writing or reading. 3x NO.
    2. Health: My anxiety about one thing has spiraled off the charts, and it is clear to me that it is not based on any kind of rational foundation, but is just part of some hormonal ungluing/anxiety disorder. Perhaps this week I could move forward by even one exercise in the Anxiety or Stress CBT books? NO, but had Kava Kava and boy does that work to reduce anxiety. Big time. Other than this, I have to keep up the good work with food, supplements, and sleep. Must get sleep. DOING OKAY. Must address food at work problem.
    3. Family: So we have a couple things in the cooker for Spirited Son, and we need to move forward with that. I need to talk to his piano teacher (NO) and make plans for a friend of his to come over. (DONE) We also need to look at the Cub Scouts.(working on it) Perhaps some kind of gym class or something so he gets some movement. (NO, but a future plan in the works) So I need to keep things moving here. My crucial work here is to stop talking about Cool Service Project and work at home. I need to be more with them when I'm with them. I think part of the answer to this is that when I'm home on the weekdays, I need to treat it more like a workday and leave the weekends completely family oriented. I need to remember to not talk or get emotive about work with them. YES. Wow this is hard.
    4. Herbalism and Gardening. It's the middle of February, and I need to get my act together with planning the gardening for the year. I started this, but I need to order some seeds (DONE) and the blueberry plants. (NOT YET) I also need to figure out when I need to start seeds in the basement. (NOT YET) This is an important part of family actually. I'm also going to make that kava kava thing today. (DONE)
    5. Work: I need to keep up a decent grading pace while also leading a search and working very seriously this week on Big Service Project. I really think that the key to moving like water with all this is to moderate emotions and not let myself go into getting frustrated or anxious or angry. I need to work on changing my attitude a bit better (not in a silly pop-psycho way, but in a reframing way to see if there are better ways to think about it all). I do love what I'm doing in Big Service Project, so that really helps. (Behind on grading)

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    Replies
    1. Analysis: I was sick in three different ways last week. It's amazing I got anything done, but of course no one sees that or that I'm completely overwhelmed with service. I'm asking others to take on tasks at this point, and I've barked at my Chair three different times now when zie's asked me mentioned specific tasks I need to do. This is a great opportunity for me to figure out boundaries. Also for me to figure out how to get all these things done. (ha ha)

      This Week's Goals

      1. Research: Check second galleys. If possible, write a bit, read a bit. No stress.
      2. Health: Good sleep. Good food. Good supplements. Don't stress. Take good care of self.
      3. Family: Call piano teacher and put the lessons off until we can deal with them. Be with family when I'm with them, as much as I can.
      4. Gardening/Herbalism: Consider blueberries. Start some seeds downstairs soon?
      5. Work: I have a lot of grading that has been put aside because of all these meetings I've been going to. I've got to get on a good grading clip. I also really need to try not to get sucked in to big dramas at work whether via email or in meetings. Move like water, even when fire is what's coming at me.



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    2. Ah, grading was the bane of my existence when I was teaching. Only after several years was I able to make myself do a set amount every day, beginning immediately, and even then, depending on the course, it got away from me.

      Service has been a stressor for me as well, partly because it is so unpredictable. There will be nothing, then two or three committees at once. We are a small shop, and unfortunately, my expertise is not widespread among the faculty, so. . .

      I hope you put out the fires, or at least stream around them!

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  3. Oh, how I recognise these internal resistors. Perfectionism is there, which for me is tied up with a fear of negative feedback and put downs that I am not good enough, tying into imposter syndrome). Ghastly. One result is that I will do lots of work, get a project 95% done, and then mentally struggle to complete eg submit papers. I am much better when I feel as though someone else has a stake in it, or there is a purposeful external reason why something needs to be done. Also, just focusing on small tasks that chip away at the big picture. Still, all this baggage slows me down. Argh.

    Last week's goals:
    1. Do overdue biological measurements. HALFWAY THERE.
    2. 10,000 steps each day. NOT QUITE, but I did this around 5 days out of 7.
    3. Stick to a nutritious eating plan. MOSTLY.
    4. Do 250 words on the mammal paper. NO.
    The week had some difficulties, mostly for family reasons (needing to prioritise kids, and solve issues arising), but also because I have so little down-time at my work currently. The week was therefore very draining, and I slept really badly all week. Nonetheless, I am inching towards a couple of goals.

    This week's goals:
    1. Finish current lab work run
    2. 300 words a day on the mammal paper, for 4 days
    3. write letter to editor
    4. exercise for half an hour, at least 6 days
    5. get to bed by 10pm every night
    6. reward myself by finishing biological measurements (for a project I love)
    7. explore possibility of new location for biological measurements
    allan wilson

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    1. The almost-done projects are something I have to deal with, as well, although as you say, it helps to have a co-author. Unfortunately, most of my medieval studies work is individual, and languishes.

      Despite your challenges, you made some good progress on goals. Good on you!

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  4. When it comes to my dissertation, insecurity is the source of my Internal resistance. I'm just not sure I can write a "good enough" dissertation in the time that I have. That said, I've been doing a pretty good job of just working in spite of the resistance. I have so little time for PhD work, that I just have to stuff that resistance down and move forward.

    Last week's goals:
    1) Read article by guy I met at the conference--YES.
    2) Print, read, and reconsider outline for intro--YES. Well, I didn't print it, but I read throughout the draft (which is mostly just notes) and also read some other advice on writing a good dissertation intro, and these things were helpful.
    3) Write 500 words of intro. NO. Only about 100.
    4) Finish reading/reviewing Chapter 2. YES. It's better than I thought! (at least I think it is)
    5) Read 75 pages of primary source. NO. Only, like, 10 pages. Arggh!
    6) Put my phone away when I'm with the kiddos (I don't look at it very often, but I feel self-conscious when I do. I want to model more mindfulness, not the need to check messages as a reflex.) WELL, I forgot this was a goal, but I mostly did it.
    7) Help son figure out his gaming problem. NO. I offered this morning, but he was doing something else.

    I'm surprised I got much TLQ done at all, considering I had a fair amount of grading, teaching work this week. And I took the dog on three long walks! For this coming week, I have a BUNCH of grading to return by Thursday, and then I have meetings on Friday. But I still hope to put in a few hours of TLQ at some point.

    This week:
    1) New Outline for Intro
    2) Write 500 words of intro
    3) read 40 pages of primary source
    4) read one chapter/article
    5) print chapter 1
    6) Help son with gaming problem

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    Replies
    1. I find that lack of time lowers my resistance quite well, too. Sadly, I don't seem to be able to create deadlines that I will keep--I am too aware they are self-created, I suppose.

      It sounds like you are attacking some of the goals. Best of luck with the grading this week!

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  5. Even in the middle of unusual circumstances, and without a current active writing project (though with plenty of back-burner ones, and ones that haven't even made it to a pot/burner yet), this question works for me. I definitely avoided dealing with things in storage, and financial matters in general, when engaging with them brought up bad memories and reminded me of how few good options I had. That logjam has been breaking slowly over the last few years, as more options became possible. That's good, though a problem with inertia/getting started remains, as does a (less purely psychological, decidedly reality-based) concern with starting large, time- and/or space-consuming projects (either in the small space of my apartment or the remote space of the storage area) when I'm short on both. Still, identifying problems with real structural components (time, space, etc.) vs. those with primarily psychological components is useful.

    I've also been tracking my time -- something I've done before, but, for whatever reason, I felt an urge to resume the practice this semester, so I've been keeping time diaries (mostly real-time/retrospective, sometimes prospective/planning, in either case just a chart in word for each day with "planned" and "actual" columns). That's mostly helping me identify sources of resistance to components of my teaching work -- once again, some of them with more basis in reality/experience that I give myself credit for, e.g. when I comment on student work, it's not only time-consuming and repetitive and frustrating and/or boring, it also brings a flood of email from students who are confused by and/or unhappy with the grade, feedback, etc., so, rather than the positive reinforcement of a completed job, I get the negative reinforcement of yet more work, including dealing with people who are unhappy (generally and/or with me) for various reasons. Of course the ongoing feedback loop is part of my job, and I also recognize it as the inevitable and appropriate result of my creating assignments that my students, especially given their widely-varying levels of preparation, find challenging, and I also know that I do know how to deal with anxious, unhappy, etc. students pretty well by now. Still, the tendency of "completed" work to generate yet more work can be exhausting. No wonder I prefer creating curriculum/assignments to grading!

    So I guess I'd make a plug for considering sources of internal resistance, but being careful not to downplay the role of external/structural issues as well. I think we all face both, and sometimes too much focus on the internal (especially on the part of those whose business it is to coach others to "success" through/despite various broken systems) can be counterproductive. And that's not a complaint about the prompt, or the spreadsheet (which may well have been offered in the context of other exercises which focus on external obstacles), just a reminder (to myself as much as anyone) that, as with many things, there's a balance (and that there's something to the old encounter-group slogan that the personal is political). As the survivor of a truly-dysfunctional grad program, and a current employee of one of the U.S. universities at which the Koch brothers are funding programs faced on wellness/wellbeing/happiness (i.e. taking personal responsibility for things which just might be affected by larger structures), I'm probably especially sensitive to such issues.

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    1. Last week's goals:

      1. Fit in more regular exercise
      2. Keep working on establishing bedtime routine
      3. Continue work on boxes (another storage run and/or some packing/mailing, whichever fits in better around other things, including the weather)
      4. Make some more oatmeal, and some more soup
      5. Try to figure out some kind of time off

      Accomplished:

      Surprisingly, almost everything. I made much more headway than in previous weeks on getting to bed at a decent hour (though I'm up a bit late right now) and getting some exercise (better weather helped, but I've also been taking better advantage of indoor opportunities). And I made some oatmeal (no soup) and read a whole mystery (with only a few interruptions to deal with work and family matters) on Friday. No work on boxes, but they weren't the most urgent matter.

      So, goals for next week:

      1. Try to keep up/build on the exercise habit
      2. Try to keep up the bedtime routine
      3. Continue work on boxes (another storage run and/or some packing/mailing, whichever fits in better around other things, including the weather)
      4. Go grocery shopping; make soup

      We'll see how I do. This week has a lot of work meetings of various sorts, a lot of grading, and the need to make progress on a couple of projects not listed on my TLQ goals, because I knew they'd become TRQ (a paper for a conference I probably won't attend because I don't want to be away that long right now, but I'll go ahead and submit the paper, since it's a submit-papers-in-advance roundtable-type arrangement that lends itself to that approach; and some work on a project some colleagues and I dreamed up that seems worth pursuing, and involves a funding request that I began drafting this week).

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    2. I completely agree with you about the interplay of external and internal resistance. Yesterday was one of those "death of a thousand cuts" days where I had six (yes, 6) meetings, and the small time between was a constant flow of staff and colleagues into my cubicle. I didn't have a chance to use any of my repertoire of internal resistance techniques.

      Also, your caution about coaching prompts and using common sense and balance is a good point. Both external and internal factors are certainly at play in my own resistance, especially given a recent feeling of a decided lack of appreciation and a feeling of being used by a university that resembles a corporation more than I like.

      All the best on dealing with a difficult week. Hooray for reading the mystery, too.

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    3. Yes to the impact of external pressures as well from me. The grinding down of will power, together with sucking up huge amounts of available time. Sometimes it is so important to acknowledge the structural boundaries and difficulties that we live under, as a way of taking back our own power.

      I am now making an effort to say no to external meetings or other pressures that are not strictly necessary, as it is the only way I can stay afloat currently. allan wilson

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    4. I agree completely. I need to work on saying no. I was socialized to be "nice," even at my own expense, and it has been hard to shake off that training.

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  6. My most frequent form of internal resistance is a combination of “that other thing needs to get done!” and “you really don’t need to do any more research.” I will always put grading, reading for class, and service before research. In trying to sort this out, I am trying to think of my editors (or hypothetical editors) as clients for whom I am working so that I am not writing into a vacuum but writing for a person. That way the one person can be as important, if not more important, than those 75 people waiting on their quiz grades.

    That “you really don’t need to do any more research” is an annoying message that my monkey brain adopted from a family member who thinks that the minimum--enough to check the boxes for merit pay and then the book for promotion--is all I should do. Instead of doing more work, family member thinks I should spend more time doing family things and putting my career first is selfish. So even though I don’t really buy into that, I still have it planted in my head and it can easily pop up when I don’t really feel inspired about research.

    I didn’t set goals for last week since I was still working on the two pieces I needed to submit. I am happy to have met those deadlines. My next set of deadlines are in the first week of April, so I will do some backward scheduling to set good incremental goals.

    Goals for this week:
    1 do scheduling for conference papers and extended abstract
    2 read two essays for lit review for conference papers
    3 write to important contact for conference paper

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    Replies
    1. I hear that family one from so many colleagues, and unfortunately it is easily internalized, because of course we want to spend time with our family. I struggled with that until one time my DH pointed out how alive I was after spending a week doing research at an archive. I am a much easier person to live with (and my children agree!) when I am doing things that matter to me.

      Clearly, a lot of work is drudgery--most grading leads to more work, as CC pointed out in her comment--but some of it is why we all pursue academia.

      Congratulations on meeting the deadlines!

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    2. I was once talking to a friend about my spouse's resistance to my work. And my friend pointed out that my work (research, PhD pursuits) are my hobbies as well as my job. What she meant by this is that my spouse has hobbies like surfing, dirt biking, etc. I don't do those things. I read and go to conferences and such, so he needs to accept these as things I will always do. I'm never going to "be done with it." My friend's perspective was a good one since hubby tends to value his outdoor adventure hobbies much more than my indoor bookish ones. I know it might seem pejorative to call my work a "hobby," but thinking of it this way when comparing the time we spend on things was useful, especially in defense of the "you work too much" accusation.

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  7. I'm in a rush, so I'm going to skip the prompt (which I love) and just check in, especially since I'm already late!

    Last week:
    1) Ideally, go through the whole to-do list on the talk and fill in the blanks (with notes if not actual paragraphs) ABOUT 75% DONE
    2) Complete Article H DONE
    3) Start the next article on my list NOT DONE, BUT THAT'S OK
    4) Firm up plans for Feb. conference travel (i.e. look at the damn bus schedule already) DONE--RENTED A CAR INSTEAD

    This week (I'm going to be out of town Thurs-Sat, so I'm trying to keep the list modest):
    1) Absolutely COMPLETE draft of talk
    2) Start Article S
    3) Go to conference and have fun staying with friend
    4) Class prep for next week

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    Replies
    1. Great job on the goals, heu mihi! And glad if you found the prompt helpful!

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  8. Interesting prompt. Like CC, I'm very aware of the external things that get in the way of my writing. I think the internal ones are a combination of perfectionism and imposter syndrome. Yes, I've written two books, so I know I can do it; people even think said books are good - they read them and they teach them. But it never felt like a struggle, so surely NOW they will discover. . . And I take responsibility for lots of things IRL that require time. So I can undermine myself. I've been working on that last one very hard, taking on relatively few tasks (for me) and not going to campus when I don't have to. Because I suspect the external things I take on are ways of interfering with my writing and scholarship.

    Anyway, last week:
    1. Finish ms and email to press -- DONE
    2. Finish book review - Still needs one read through, but basically done
    3. Read at least one prize book NO
    4. Prepare for meeting with accountant re. taxes NO
    5. Exercise 5 times -- 4 times
    6. Sleep regularly -- not so much

    Analysis: I had to take my mother to several dr appointments, which ended up eating 6 hours or so out of the week, never mind regular visits. So I lost the time I had to finish the book ms., and that snowballed. And that's OK. Also, the big committee I'm on ended up in these crazy email things that were huge time sucks. It does mean that a bunch of things that were TLQ are now TRQ. Sigh.

    Goals for this week:
    1. Finish taxes (well, I meet with the accountant tomorrow, so...)
    2. Read colleague's book for merit review (TRQ, really)
    3. Prize books (this is now TRQ).
    4. Exercise 4 times
    5. Get regular sleep

    My real goal over the week ahead is to clear the decks of lots of piddly stuff, so that I can start work on another essay, and begin doing fiddly footnote stuff on my book. And to stay calm, and be kind to my mother.

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    Replies
    1. Congratulations on finishing the ms and getting it to the press!!

      Yours is an interesting point, Susan: "I suspect the external things I take on are ways of interfering with my writing and scholarship." I think I sabotage myself by underestimating the time that I think a task will take. I now double the time I first estimate--and I'm closer, although some dreaded tasks are closer to the 2.5 multiplier. Time of day and therefore, energy levels are factors as well.

      I declined a meeting this week for the first time in my second career--and no meteors hit the planet. I saw one of those ribbons one gets for science fairs and such which was "I survived a meeting that should have been an email."

      My shop LOVES those kind of meetings--I actually got called on the carpet for cancelling one of a series of weekly meetings due to there being nothing to discuss. My dean said I had to reschedule the meeting, so the group sat and socialized for five minutes, agreed there was nothing to talk about, and I adjourned.

      That is the kind of external factor that makes me rage. Ah, sorry, I will now repeat my mantra: move like water, float like mist.

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  9. One late check-in, courtesy of much internal resistance...
    I'm really struggling with revisions so I'm not even going to bother talking about them.

    The voice of my internal resistance sounds very much like a toddler having a tantrum; along the lines of "but I don't want to!!!!!" with yelling and stomping and kicking...
    Funny enough, bribing the toddler with rewards does not help much. I find I have much more success with the internal dialogue that goes "I don't care whether you want to or not, you WILL do this, so suck it up buttercup and sit your butt down"...
    Sometimes it is worth finding the reason for toddler's resistance and trying to address it (yes dear, you are hungry and that's why you are melting down in the parking lot at the grocery store...) and some days it is not because there is no good reason ("I don't wanna" occasionally just means that toddler is being an ass)... Most of the time I can tell the difference, I think? On a more serious note, feeling that tasks are overwhelmingly big is a huge cause of resistance for me....
    Anyway, after all that, I'm going to sit my butt down now with a cup of tea and work on text revisions!! Right now, "because I'm in charge and whining won't make me change my mind"!
    Cheers!
    So, that is

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    1. Daisy, I have one of those internal toddlers, too! I can sometimes bribe with coloring books or freewriting, but I need to try the "so sad, too bad, butt in chair, hands on keyboard" approach.

      Your point about finding the cause of resistance is a very good one--sometimes I don't want to because my co-author or other colleague is being a pain, and so why should I help, but at other times, it is just not wanting to do it.

      Not giving in to the whining--I love it!!

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