I hope I'm not stepping on anyone's toes by putting up the wind-up post. I know JaneB likes to check in on Sunday, and it's already evening in the UK, so here it is.
This time, we won't set goals, but reflect on the past session. How did you do? What went better (or worse) than you expected? Did you have to deal with anything unanticipated? Are there categories in which you lagged or excelled? What sort of special TLQ reward would you like to find under your Christmas tree, Hanukkah bush, or Solstice shrub?
Your session goals were posted last week, so I won't collect them again here. Thank you all for coming on the 16-week plus one TLQ journey of August-December 2021 session. It's been a pleasure to meet with you and cheer you on. Best wishes for the remainder of December, and for the new year.
If anyone feels like volunteering to host the first 2022 session, please note that in the comments, as well.
Hello! And thank you.
ReplyDeleteMy session goal was survival. I'm here, my cat is also here (and becoming cheeky), most of the students are still here (I expect all of them are, it's just some have stopped communicating with academics for a while, but in the current pandamnit you never quite know... the number who reappeared in the 48 hours before deadlines was as ever at once frustrating and reassuring).
What was better/worse? Well, I really, really struggled with self care at various points, and I expected (foolishly, but I am a slow learner in some ways) that both the university and my students and colleagues would be more considerate and cautious around COVID, which was very bad for my anxiety to the point that a couple of days I "made excuses" not to go on campus - and the quote marks are because the reality is I was mentally not really well enough to be in, but I didn't feel able to manage the conversations declaring that would involve or that I wanted to put that burden on those of my colleagues who are decent and caring (who were also really struggling - we all were, I'm just Stress Canary still), so i went for a nice physical reason - a "dodgy takeaway", a migraine-like headache - and I get gastric and head/neck pain/vision distortion symptoms from the anxiety so it isn't a lie, it's just... the thing one does?
Better - I hate to say this, but our recruitment was very poor (UK = insane system for student number controls/ridiculous summer omnishambles for the school leavers two years running, which led to "elite" unis bursting at the seams and regionals like mine a bit short of students and lower-tier unis in urban areas with multiple unis are really struggling to make budgetary ends meet), and this was a Good THing because my normally-huge first year module was halved and as I was doing all the admin and support work solo (since my normal teaching partner is on maternity leave and her replacement didn't start until the second week of teaching, and is still barely a few days ahead of his classes, so has not been able to help at ALL in fact I have been having to check in weekly and explain what he needs to do, which is both appropriate and totally stressful since I can barely manage myself...). I was able to manage things so I didn't have to go on campus much. Which... I can tell annoyed some people, but also helped me keep going (one of the side effects of facing an anxiety-inducing situation like going on campus and teaching unmasked students in a poorly ventilated space is that it tends to leave me feeling "convalescent" for a day or two after from the release of adrenaline, which affects the amount of work I can do, and BOY has there been a lot of work.
Unanticipated: How slow the new guy would be to get up to speed on the modules we co-teach (think he focused on writing lectures for the other modules - reusing other people's stuff is always hard - and I was keeping things going, so it's a sort of backhanded compliment). How slow the system would be to enable me to spend money I actually got - in October I got to spend from the tiny grant I got last January, I STILL don't have any access or permission to publicise a large project which started in August and runs for two years - so we've already lost 25% of the time...
I forgot how much time graduate students can take (I'm on an active committee for one and lead for two this year, and it is literally decadeS since I had more than one lead role), not sure if that counts as unanticipated or just kind of blinkered!
I lagged across the board, BUT the collaborative project did good as a whole - we've had a great intern this trimester (more management for me, but she's done a LOAD of work), we put in for multiple small but elite grants and got two of them (especially pleased as the two leads for those are both T&S contract staff who have very few opportunities to go for these elite sources so it's super news for them), we submitted a "this is who we are" paper to a decent journal just before Christmas. And we continue to be a really mutually supportive collegial group. So that was worth while (even if it barely counts on MY c.v., it counts in terms of the person I want to be, so that counts)
DeleteGIFT - an extra month off. More hobby time. Actual workload modelling which leads to the decision to TAKE OFF SOME OF MY WORK. Good news from the research funding office. The overnight disappearance of COVID-19 and most of my excess weight. A sane and functional pro-democracy pro-populace government. Elves moving in - housework elves, litter tray poop-stealing elves, marking elves, calorie-absorbing elves, reminding all students of deadlines and ensuring they read instructions elves, whatever kind of helpful elves feel in need of a nice big challenge for 2022!
But I'll settle for people being kind and sensible, and for the supportive and cheerful company of groups like TLQ here and the collaborative project along the road, whatever comes in 2022!
I LOVE LOVE LOVE your line "...it counts for the person I want to be, so that counts"... I may put that on a post-it above my screen to look at when needed!
DeleteCommunity means showing up and you are clearly showing up and helping colleagues and trainees, and that counts for so much!
Elves. All the elves. What a terrific idea! Elves for all of us, please.
DeleteThanks for wrapping up the session, Dame Eleanor! I think it was my turn, but my oldest managed a rather spectacular fall yesterday afternoon and had to go into emergency for x-rays and treatment. They're doing well now, but in a split on the non-dominant arm for the next two weeks at least. So it was a little chaotic here.
ReplyDeleteI officially wrapped up work for the year on Friday, and we're now just hoping to navigate the new living with covid rules well enough to travel to family over Christmas, and be able to travel back.
Teaching: finish up this semester without getting behind, set up external connections and partnerships for sem 1 2022 unit. Yes, finished up the semester and managed to stay close-ish to pace all the way through. I've got all online teaching materials prepped for sem 1 next year, but not locked in the external partners - but now I have a very clear idea of what I need from them and when, so hopefully that will be an easy win in Jan/Feb.
Research: pilot SOTL project and present paper on it, see three PhD/Masters students to submission. Ended up presenting a different SOTL paper within my are, so roughly equivalent there. Two postgrads complet3ed the creative component of their research, but are still finishing the writing, and the other is on medical leave - so everything under my control has been done and I think I've managed to be kind to the students throughout.
Self and Home: maintain planting schedule, get out (in some way shape or form) each week, get home office fully functional given there's at least one more year of hotdesk hell to come.
Yes, home office is functional at a systems level, though it will need a filing binge after holiday travel. Garden planting has been working well - though the loss of carefully nurtured seedlings to blackbirds messing with the mulch is frustrating, and while I dodn;t fullt track the getting out, I think we did make a consistent effort to do exciting things as a family which was nice.
Better/worse: Better in myself in the sense of prioritising rest and being more resilient day to day because of that. Worse in the sense of feeling like the culture within my university is the most toxic it has been in a long time.
Unexpected: I mean, isn't everything unpredictable at the moment? Level of micro-managing was probably one thing for me this semester, as well as the health problems hitting people in my circle. Oh, and startign an in person wiring group with some colleague has been more delightful than expected.
Lag or excel? I deliberately set my goals low/realistic this time, and felt reasonably balanced between them. I do want to see if I can move next year/session goals a little higher.
Rewards: I'm going to travel with a stack of hard copy books and a knitting project, and time to be with those would be lovely. In wider terms, a new government that isn't hostile to education, climate, justice and transparency would be lovely, please.
And like JaneB, kind, sensible and supportive people including the TLQ group. Thanks to all of you for company along the way, and all my best wishes for a safe, restorative and joyful holiday season.
Glad to hear kid is ok after accident!
DeleteEnjoy the knitting and books after a very busy session with lots of things accomplished!
I'm sorry to hear about your kid's accident! What is it with the broken arms/wrists in this session? But overall it seems that you've had a very good session; I expect prioritising rest helped with that. I hope you enjoy seeing family for Christmas.
DeleteThe ends of session really do sneak up on us! It feels like September was a lifetime ago…
ReplyDeleteHow did you do?
Finish 5 research papers.
This one made me laugh… I did finish one, and revised two others, so technically that is three off the list. But five was definitely a stretch… And of course the two brand new ones are still just as imaginary as they were in September… Not great, not terrible, just the way it is…
Get new grad student started off well, get current grad students through the rigours of writing a thesis.
This I did very well. New student is off to a good start, and current one is doing really well. Current student has come a long way and is working very hard, and all the effort she and I both put in over the term is really beginning to pay off. I’m very proud of her!
Plant bulbs, move hostas, continue exercise program, something creative for sabbatical.
I did ok on the garden stuff, great on the exercise until I had the accident, and overall came close to zero on creativity. But, after accident I’m using instrument-playing for rehab so I can sort of count the exercises as playing I guess?
What went better (or worse) than you expected?
I really did think I would be able to make more progress on research papers… I made an enormous amount of progress on restructuring my professional association’s procedures and finances, and in helping with conference organization.
Did you have to deal with anything unanticipated?
One broken wrist which got me one week of being a complete write-off, a couple for recovery and catch-up, and many hours of rehab both done, and more to come. That was not fun. It did make me miss exercise, so I’m happy to be back to some of that at least.
Are there categories in which you lagged or excelled?
Excelled at things that helped a few people. Some were colleagues who needed teaching material and help, others are association-related and personal friends. I’m very proud of getting a funded post-doc position for someone who was struggling, and getting a junior colleague a couple of summer students on the same funding. I’m happy that I finished analytical work for a new project helping another junior colleague, but sad I did not finish all the writing that went with that. He hasn’t either, but that’s no excuse… Definitely lagged at focusing on the non-urgent but so important writing work needed for some new papers…
What sort of special TLQ reward would you like to find under your Christmas tree, Hanukkah bush, or Solstice shrub?
Gift cards for bookstores make me happy! I would not say no to a bottle of wine or two either… Mostly I would like time to breathe, and time to unplug a bit without guilt. On big scale I would like the world to come to its collective senses…
Thank you to everyone for traveling along this session, and thank you so much to our wonderful hosts who kept us motivated and organized and always offered encouragement and solidarity! You are all greatly appreciated!
Three papers done is a lot! Congratulations! You've had a good session despite the broken wrist. I hope you get some good resting/breathing time during the break.
DeleteYour accomplishments in the area of helping others are fantastic! That kind of service is so important--and helps to keep academia humane.
DeleteHow I did: from here, it feels like the last several months were all unexpected, which is strange because day-to-day I was always in the same place with the same routines. But teaching in person again was unexpectedly wonderful (such a great group of undergrads), while writing went unexpectedly slowly (it took me weeks to hammer out a good structure for the chapter I'm still working on), and I certainly did not expect, in September, to be down to two cats at the end of the session.
ReplyDeleteBut I've made good progress with the chapter, I kept up with teaching (sometimes getting papers done in record time), I did a teeny bit of spring planning in advance. The garden went to bed. I have no idea what happened with the Things that would Stay Done; I probably dropped the ball on most of them, though my husband may have taken care of some, by scheduling things like the humidifier replacement and furnace cleaning. Sleep, as ever, is iffy, but I'm grateful for the time-change sleepiness that let me have at least a few long nights in bed.
I want to go somewhere warm and sunny with the friends known on my blog as Queen Joan and Lady Maud. I could go somewhere on my own, but that wouldn't be so much fun. Still, I wouldn't say no to a plane ticket to Arizona, if it turned up under the solstice shrub.
Speaking of which, happy solstice to all!
Teaching was unexpectedly wonderful for me, too, even though my students' enthusiasm (predictably) wore off after the first few weeks (large lecture courses...). Just so much more fun to be in a room with people.
DeleteCongratulations on the research and teaching goals. As for the Stuff that Stays Done--I also find it hard to remember what happened/was supposed to happen over the last few months; wasn't October a hundred years ago?
So glad to hear teaching was rewarding! It is nice when happy surprises lurk among the weeds and show up when needed!
DeleteHello everyone!
ReplyDeleteGoals:
1. Take time to stop doing things. Sit, go into the forest, do yoga, rest, knit, enjoy my family.
How I did: Okay? I sat regularly for most of the semester. Knitted some stuff. Don't feel like I got into the forest enough, but that may be inaccurate.
2. Write steadily and calmly: Finish WH and SUBMIT IT, work up a rough draft of paper due in February (which will also inform chapter 1 of big new project), submit grant proposal and sabbatical application, submit Kzoo abstract on time.
How I did: Quite well! I did almost all of these things (the rough draft of February paper is in progress, but I've been getting some good work done this week; I mostly ignored it all semester); I also revised and had fully accepted the Death article that I submitted over the summer.
3. Take an Italian class! - Yes!
4. Do good things for others: Write letters/postcards for political activism group, eat more vegan meals (twice a week?), respond reasonably promptly to emails, stay on top of big committee
How I did: Pretty well here, too. The political activism stuff petered out early in the semester (and I'm sort of hiding from politics at the moment); had at least two vegan meals per week for most of the semester (not for the last couple of weeks, though); I'm more on top of email right now than I ever have been in my life.
So, to answer DEH's prompts:
Better - I felt Highly Efficient for much of the semester. Only teaching one class (albeit a big and at times complicated class) helped. BUT: I allowed students to make up absences from lectures by watching the recorded class and then meeting with me, and I must record (in case I haven't already mentioned it here) that I conducted ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHT INDIVIDUAL MAKE-UP SESSIONS THIS SEMESTER.
Never again, my friends. Never again.
Unanticipated: I think that my "better" performance above has to do with a real lack in this category. Nobody got sick. (Like, at all.) Son's school never shut down. No major catastrophes on any front.
OH WAIT--that's right--my husband lost his job. That was unexpected. But it's okay, more or less; I've secured him a temp position in my department for spring semester, then there might be a pastoral sabbatical replacement position over the summer, and then we're off to France in the fall, at which point his job hunting (for our January return to the US) will begin in earnest. And we have enough of a financial cushion that the income loss, while annoying and moderately stressful, isn't an actual problem.
So I'm feeling (annoyingly?) on top of things at the moment.
Spring will be more challenging: I'll be back to two classes + major service position (+ Italian), so it'll be busy, and one of those classes is a new graduate seminar--grad classes are exciting and valuable but MAN do they take up a lot of time and cause me a lot of stress. I'm pretty happy to tread water re-teaching undergrad courses...but it'll be good, it'll be good, or so I keep telling myself. (Now, if only I could figure out my syllabus!)
Thank you to our hosts for a great session. It's really nice to look back and see that I got some stuff done; it never *feels* like I'm getting anything done, you know?
So glad you feel good about the session! Even with the major unexpected event! I'm glad that was not a crisis and that you have options for adjusting.
Delete108 make-up sessions... Hats off, sending virtual recovery chocolate!
OTOH, it *is* important to be flexible these days, and I've found that relaxing about due dates contributed to my teaching satisfaction (most students want to hand stuff in and move on, and the others have bigger problems than my class), but OTOther Hand, we need to avoid making huge problems for ourselves---I'm sure the possibility of make-up sessions sounded reasonable when you planned it, but it now looks like something to avoid in future. What I mean is, it's hard to tell in advance what a good policy is going to be! We just have to experiment and then learn from the results. I'm sorry you had to learn at the expense of 108 make-up sessions.
DeleteWhile I'm thinking of it, I would be up for hosting the next session.
ReplyDeleteThank you to our wonderful hosts and to this community where I always feel welcomed and cheered on, even when I am free floating in space. Although this was a difficult session for me and I did not achieve my overachiever goals, I have a better sense of what I want and don’t want, which runs alongside recognizing there are things I just need to do and to make space for that.
ReplyDeleteMy chromebook finally died last night after repeatedly slipping into a comatose state, unwilling to restart. I am here with my giant clunky PC laptop, shopping for new tech for the new year. I am still cleaning my office, but just removing stacks of books from the floor makes an inspiring difference. Plans for a series of trips to the recycling center on Monday, while the weather is good.
Creative things and domestic things are finally taking shape. I wasn’t terribly satisfied with my conference papers so I am working hard to say no to the shiny things and focus on the one conference paper (favorite spring conference, which I hope will be in person) and two book chapters that are committed.
Looking forward to continued clarity and resolve as the new year unfolds.
I'm sorry to hear about your computer woes! My husband also needs "new tech for the new year," and I like that way of thinking about it. I know what you mean about needing to focus on things already committed rather than getting distracted by the shiny things---good luck in staying strong with that resolve, and then being able to enjoy the satisfaction of completing the conference paper and book chapters "steadily and calmly," like heu mihi.
Delete