If you're not up for the story business, maybe consider where you feel most conflicted or in need of balance: family/work? You/others? Research/teaching/admin? Project A/Project B? If you feel like it, of course. You can just check in with your report on last week and goals for next, if that's what you want to do!
So here are our goals from last week:
Daisy
1)Check both papers for current state and decide on concrete tasks to get them going again (actually I just did that and I’m horrified that one of them has not even been opened since last October!! On the bright side, there’s some good stuff in there I guess??)
2)Pick one of them (closest to done?) and work on it!
3)Do outline of conference talk for me
4)Make figures for other peoples’ conference talks (co-author stuff)
Dame Eleanor Hull
Daily stretching, exercise, 8 hours sleep.
Finish and send article, or at least keep writing.
Finish last doc for annual review; some other administrivia.
Grade one set of short papers; write syllabus (due dates, mainly) for independent study.
Open and deal with all the stacked-up mail.
Elizabeth Anne Mitchell
Register for class.
Rent my books.
Pack for the conference.
Write the update on the special issue.
Finish the plausible schedule.
Good Enough Woman
Work:
1. Prep sufficiently while not prepping incessantly. I keep wanting to get SUPER PREPARED and organized to make the semester easier, but then I end up spending twice as much time on stuff as I would have if I had to cram it in the hour before class, which means I feel more prepared but I work more hours to get there.
2. Research and Writing for 2 hours.
People:
1. A friend proposed we have a "high tea" together, so I want to schedule that.
2. Get together with one friend this week--maybe M or C.
3. Send out 3-5 cards or letters.
Wellness:
1. Walk 4-5x
2. Meditate at least 3x
3. Skip evening treat 2x
heu mihi
1. Read 50 pp for research; incorporate 2 sources into Wonder; look up MS history
2. Sit x4, exercise x5, language x5, write x4
3. Service stuff: email re. workshop, letter of rec
4. Activism stuff: email D & A re. upcoming event
5. Good citizen stuff: PTO proposal for a water bottle filler
6. Upcoming travel stuff: Arrange details with driver, find remaining hotels, attempt to make train reservations, follow up re. visa, contact doctor re. vaccinations
Humming42
1 submit conference prospectus
2 complete this week’s work for online writing course
3 write a blog post
4 plan a schedule for Squares
JaneB
1) aim to hit most of these habits most days (stop work at 6, bed before midnight, no sugar or bread, packing food for the day, a movement break every 45 minutes when sitting, at least one non-work non-screen thing every evening)
2) Completely prep next week's teaching and make a start on the week after (6x 1 hour classes, 3 tutorials, a lot of paperwork, 3 x 2 hour classes, some bits and pieces. Only about half of it is new...)
3) pick up the threads of FlatPaper1 (optimistic)
4) arrange a Skype with co-secretary to plan out the year
5) have fun with Niece and Sister!
Karen
-run x 3, yoga x 2
-write/add 330 words daily Mon-Fri
-reclaim sound equipment and have a play
-have draft briefing, rules, schedule paperwork for course E uploaded to share next week
-get mini greenhouse out of shed and put seedling trays in, finish direct sewing and put in bird protection
KJHaxton
Wade through inbox and deal with the necessary stuff
Mark the articles, reflective diaries, group project reports
Finish arranging, and run the staff coffee thing
Tidy up after the outreach event
Write feedback on student questionnaires
Finish course admin and first session teaching materials for sustainable module, rearrange first teaching session as attending funeral.
Write presentation for conference
Try to survive several meetings
Do expenses for external examining, outreach, conference
Oceangirl101
1) write/work on book, but mostly Ch 7 3x a week, for 2 hrs each- will involve some number crunching, creation of figures, writing and some revision of Ch 3
2) exercise x 3
3) meet with undergrad students/grad that I am advising on lab projects/independent studies etc.
4) finish syllabi, start BB sites for two courses
Susan
1. Write 3000 more words on Famous Writer (goal is 10,000 words by the end of January).
2. Keep up with contributor chasing.
3. Exercise 4 times
4. Read two journals
5. Get regular sleep
6. Try intermittent fasting 4 days
Waffles
1. Revisit Latinx survey - where are we, next steps
a. Brief cope scoring?
b. PHQ?
2. Need to get MST abstracts reviewed
3. R&R
a. Read hsieh paper
b. Revise intro
c. Edit results
d. Re-org discussion
e. Sex of partner in discussion
4. Marriage paper articles
5. After R&R prioritize IRIE paper
6. Set qual meeting
7. Figure out what needs to be done for YRBS paper
8. Make clear list for PTSD paper
Have a good week, everyone!
*Does anyone but me remember a YA book from maybe the 1960s called
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
Delete(See last week for the first installment of this story.)
Delete“You’re the Librarian-in-Residence on this world,” Charlotte said.
“I’m afraid you’re mistaken. I am a professor of English, not a librarian of any kind.”
“Everything I consulted did say that you had a very detailed cover identity,” Charlotte conceded. “And I will certainly try not to create any trouble for you here. But I need your help, with a Library matter.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “It’s late, and I need to get home. Perhaps you could come back next week, when I’ll be back on campus. My office hours are posted on the door, and of course I’m always available by e-mail.” I returned to packing my bag of papers and books; what I call “the feed bag,” containing my lunch and dinner containers, was ready to go.
Charlotte stared past me toward the window, and said, “Window latch, unfasten. Window handle, crank to open position.” To my astonishment, latch and handle did as she had ordered, and a blast of cold air entered the room as I looked back and forth between the window and my visitor. “Window, close and latch,” Charlotte said. “Heating apparatus, warm this room to 72 degrees Fahrenheit.” Now, that was a welcome trick, as my office is usually around 60 degrees and I have to keep spare sweaters and gloves to wear at my desk. I was already convinced that something out of the ordinary was happening, when she added, “Riverside Chaucer lying on the table in front of me, turn to page 183.” The book, which was facing me, flipped its cover to the side and pages riffled to the Franklin’s Tale, the point where Aurelius’s brother the clerk recalls “a book of magyk natureel” left on a desk by his “felawe.”
“Well,” I said, “this clarifies things. You mean the Invisible Library. But I’m still not affiliated with it.”
This is delicious! I want to know what happens next!
DeleteSo good! I love the details.
DeleteDespite my multiple attempts, I still haven't managed to put in all the correct bold symbols for Charlotte's use of the Language. Sigh. I'm not going to try again this week, but will try to do better in future.
DeleteGoals. If I don't do this now, it won't happen till Tuesday, but whereas I thought I was being reasonably effective this week, my responses to the set goals don't show it. I guess I did a lot of other things: wrote a paper letter to a friend, talked to my dad, went to a four-hour faculty meeting. I'd like to think I'll get to some more stuff today, but it's probably all going to be gym, cooking, and similar domestic tasks.
ReplyDeleteHow I did:
Daily stretching, exercise, 8 hours sleep. MOSTLY YES, iffy on sleep, but not for lack of trying.
Finish and send article, or at least keep writing. KEPT WRITING, generally in tiny increments, but it's getting close to done now.
Finish last doc for annual review; some other administrivia. NO, YES.
Grade one set of short papers; write syllabus (due dates, mainly) for independent study. NO (but reviewed them so I know what I'll be commenting on), NO.
Open and deal with all the stacked-up mail. NO.
New goals:
Daily stretching, exercise, 8 hours sleep.
Finish and send article.
Finish last doc for annual review; some new administrivia, including talk with chair, memo to GD, rec letter.
Grade one set of short papers; write syllabus (due dates, mainly) for independent study; update online quizzes.
Open and deal with all the stacked-up mail.
The coming week has 2 social engagements (I did say I wanted some social life), and a dentist appointment. How can there be so much to do already? I have house-selling-related things to do that I'm not even listing because I think the odds are I won't get to them so it's just too depressing to include them.
A four! hour! faculty! meeting!
DeleteYou are exempt from all other duties.
Yes and yes on keep writing in tiny increments. Every little bit moves you toward the bigger goal.
DeleteI like that you included a list of other things you *did* do.
DeleteSometimes I think just keeping track of what's actually getting done is better than making lists.
DeleteThe meeting, to be fair, was scheduled, included lunch, and covered some serious stuff.
The central conflict of my novel is about whether my super boring heroine (for whom boring is a virtue) actually does something exciting, or whether she does something that looks boring that becomes exciting.
ReplyDelete[No one wants to read my novel.]
Anyway, from last week:
1. Write 3000 more words on Famous Writer (goal is 10,000 words by the end of January). NO - about 1000?
2. Keep up with contributor chasing. yes
3. Exercise 4 times 3 times
4. Read two journals one
5. Get regular sleep yes
6. Try intermittent fasting 4 days -- been doing a mild version most days, fasting at least 12-14 hours
Reflection: well, the op-ed I wrote on impeachment got picked up by the Washington Post history section, so there was a lot of editing, and that ended up being 850 words. And I was extremely anxious about it, so couldn't really concentrate. I did some deck clearing over the weekend, and got back writing this morning. I'm taking lots of naps, too. Seems necessary.
But in addition to what was on the list, I did my UK taxes.
And tonight I went to a training for volunteering for a presidential candidate. Because the world is going to hell in a handbasket, and as another person said, I just can't sit on the sidelines any more.
Which is all to say, I'm doing things not on my list, and I think that's good.
Goals for the next week:
1. 4000 words on Famous Author
2. Keep chasing contributors
3. Read one journal
4. Admin stuff
5. Walk twice (it's finally getting light earlier in the AM, that's helpful!)
6. Get regular sleep
7. Keep up healthy eating and intermittent fasting
Re. Dame Eleanor's YA query: I've been thinking about a YA book I read in the late 60s about a girl adopted into a Quaker family in the 1660s, and how she owned herself as a Quaker after presenting a petition to Charles II.
Congratulations on the op ed! I wish that we weren't pseudonymous here so that I could go look it up!
DeleteI would have to say that an op-ed in the Washington Post gives you a bye on anything else you didn't get done. Wow!
DeleteCongratulations on the WaPo op-ed!
DeleteAnd I'm sure I would read your novel.
And that YA book sounds right up my alley.
I got two books by Breck out of the LRU library and enjoyed them both. Susan's sounds good, too. We could have a whole YA discussion group here . . .
DeleteIn this week spy thriller installment, I have relocated to a new secret base (I moved offices), intelligence sources are producing contradictory account of the machinations of Dr No. (Dr No, the arch-villian for this story, is a synthesis and personification of hurdles to getting things through higher level committees).
ReplyDeleteLast week:
Felt rather luxurious - with many staff still on holidays I actually managed time and headspace for reading and writing. Then topped it off with a weekend away camping and having wonderful wild family adventures.
-run x 3, yoga x 2: managed 3 x yoga (I need to remember that home practice is valid, even if it is shorter than a studio class), no runs, but did 2 x short hikes and 2 hours of kayaking
-write/add 330 words daily Mon-Fri: 2 days
-reclaim sound equipment and have a play: Yes
-have draft briefing, rules, schedule paperwork for course E uploaded to share next week: Yes
-get mini greenhouse out of shed and put seedling trays in, finish direct sewing and put in bird protection: Yes
Yay for mostly realistic goals!
Next week:
Days off on Monday and Friday means I'm operating on a compressed work week with lots of meetings.
-Unpack office
-2 x run, 3 x yoga
-300 words daily Tues-Thurs
-get SD card and record something on sound equipment
-put in promotion EoI
I absolutely love the incarnation of Dr No. Brilliant! And bravo for a really balanced week with a lot of yes.
DeleteAgree! Dr No is a brilliant character!
DeleteLast week was quite productive - which is good. I also was invited for another on-campus interview so, yay! My central conflict is just me really. So, ugh. On the upside, we got two article acceptances yesterday, so that is great.
ReplyDeleteAnother current conflict is my new roommate. When I advertised the room for rent I made it clear I worked from home multiple days a week and needed someone who didn't need to be at home during the workday (e.g., has a f/t job). He told me he would be on campus every weekday all day except fridays. I felt I could live with that. Turns out to not be the case at all. Except for him attending a very short class last night, he has been in the house 24/7 since noon on Thursday. I am going insane. NYC apartments are just too small for that. UGH.
Goals from last week:
1. Revisit Latinx survey - where are we, next steps - DONE
a. Brief cope scoring? - DONE
b. PHQ? - DONE
2. Need to get MST abstracts reviewed - NOT DONE
3. R&R - DONE
a. Read hsieh paper - DONE
b. Revise intro - DONE
c. Edit results - DONE
d. Re-org discussion - DONE
e. Sex of partner in discussion - DONE
4. Marriage paper articles - DONE
5. After R&R prioritize IRIE paper - WILL DO
6. Set qual meeting - DONE
7. Figure out what needs to be done for YRBS paper - DONE
8. Make clear list for PTSD paper - DONE
TO DO WEEK OF JAN 27
1. Edit and practice talk
2. Give talk!
3. YRBS paper - edit intro
4. IRIE intro
5. Start qual analyses
6. MST abstracts
7. PTSD paper
8. Submit R&R
The roommate situation is appalling. I'm sorry. But there's so much other good stuff up there--congratulations on all of it!
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DeleteBravo on interview and paper acceptances. Sending lots of good vibes for the talk!
DeleteOh no. The roommate situation would make me crazy, too. And hostile.
DeleteBoo roommate, yay good stuff!
DeleteYay interview and acceptances. And joining the boos on the roommate situation.
DeleteIn this week's Comedy, Our Heroine sends several pointed missives requesting help with a hosting obligation. The Slightly Off-Putting Male who always makes his willingness to help highly visible offered to help, of course, as did the One Actually Really Cool and Down-to-Earth colleague. All of the others were met with resounding silence, and Our Heroine will need to send increasingly pointed missives throughout the week. (I have no practice writing Comedies of Manners; please bear with me.)
ReplyDeleteThe real conflict, though, will be internal: Our Heroine is quite determined to be 100% perfect in every way this semester, and that's just not going to work. It has been helpful for me to recite my priorities, in order: 1) wellness 2) research 3) teaching 4) service. (Family is at the top, too, of course, but these are self/job priorities.)
Last week:
1. Read 50 pp for research; incorporate 2 sources into Wonder; look up MS history.
Done
2. Sit x4, exercise x5, language x5, write x4
Didn't quite write x4, but did spend at least 2 hours writing on Friday, so it worked out
3. Service stuff: email re. workshop, letter of rec
Done
4. Activism stuff: email D & A re. upcoming event
Done
5. Good citizen stuff: PTO proposal for a water bottle filler
Done; need to send draft to committee
6. Upcoming travel stuff: Arrange details with driver, find remaining hotels, attempt to make train reservations, follow up re. visa, contact doctor re. vaccinations
Driver--waiting on a reply (need to follow up), hotels--still need 2, trains--need to hear from driver first, visa--arrived, vaccinations--scheduled.
This week:
1. Research: keep reading a lot; touch writing daily; finish revisions to Wonder and send to friend for feedback
2. Daily: sit x5, exercise x5, language x5
3. Service: prep workshop, prep class for church, harass colleagues, apply for conference funding, follow up re. award, letter of rec
4. Travel: email driver again, work on hotels
O service. I'm wondering if others get a huge wave of service responsibilities flooding over them in the spring? And I will expect that many of us are the people that are most likely to get called upon or are willing to step up. I'm hopeful that you won't have to do too much harassing of colleagues so you have time for more of the things that matter most to you.
DeleteI'm on two extra committees this term because of sabbaticals.
DeleteI think you should give your characters names from Jane Austen, or maybe Thackeray.
Central conflict is a great visual and perfect for the week I had! I thought about this quite a bit – it is not the research/teaching competition for time, not the should do/want to do stuff, and not really even a main incompetent adversary… I think for me the big “enemy” is the Monster of Apathy and Mediocrity that inhabits the halls and offices and some classrooms of my institution. It smothers academic integrity, it pushes for “completion” rather than learning, it loves tick-box assessments, and it feeds on the energy and souls of the faculty who strive to do research without support, and those who challenge students to do better than “just a pass” and actually stretch themselves a bit. Just this week a version of the monster told me “your classes are very interesting but they are very hard because you cover something new every week…” I did not know what to say to that – I would hope that at current tuition prices they get something new!
ReplyDeleteThere is definitely a breeding colony of those monsters in the larger geographic area – tall poppies in all walks of life here get mowed down relentlessly and there is always a general sense of “don’t get above your station” and “we’re different here, that thing that worked elsewhere won’t work here”… That said, in the good things category it is a friendly and relaxing place to live!
Fighting the monster is draining because it shows up in many different disguises and can sometimes be tripped over unexpectedly. It does quite like being an older dude of the “I don’t do service because I’m bad at it” persuasion, and it can frequently be found in the office of “just pass the student, they are close” (with a mark 10% below passing grade), and also hangs around the “we don’t answer emails unless we want something department” and the “having to do labs with math (aka multiplication) every week is hard” student union…
Symptoms of monster infestation include a strong desire to call in sick and hide, urges to write snarky emails, wondering whether it would be wise to get that side-job at coffee chain store, and despairing thoughts about why one doesn’t just give up and teach to the lowest common denominator because it would be so much less work.
Last week’s goals:
1) Check both papers for current state and decide on concrete tasks to get them going again (actually I just did that and I’m horrified that one of them has not even been opened since last October!! On the bright side, there’s some good stuff in there I guess??) DONE
2) Pick one of them (closest to done?) and work on it! DONE, did lots of work on figures
3) Do outline of conference talk for me PART DONE
4) Make figures for other peoples’ conference talks (co-author stuff) DIDN’T HAVE TO, someone else wanted to do it… Nice!
This week’s goals:
1) Make a point of spending at least an hour a day working on big fancy future talk
2) Finish conference talk
3) Go see Dean in person instead of sending snarky email in response to ongoing course drama
4) Do at least one fun thing that is not scheduled
5) Do not throw anything at anyone and do not smother anyone with a pillow
6) Keep up good work on chosen paper!
Your monster is clearly a medusa. Caring about what you do in an environment that is largely ambivalent (and therefore at odds with your point of view) is just exhausting. How excellent to have good research time in light of all that.
DeleteYour monster is an excellent, convincing monster, very sneaky and difficult to deal with.
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ReplyDeleteOur protagonist has chosen for call herself Amne because the thing she feels most connected to is amnesia. She googles her name and learns that she shares it with a commune in France and a mountain range in China. Amne wonders if this is how identity takes shape: you attach yourself to the things that resonate for you. Identity, indeed, is her central conflict.
ReplyDeleteLast week:
1 submit conference prospectus: yes, but want to do some revising
2 complete this week’s work for online writing course: yes
3 write a blog post: no
4 plan a schedule for Squares: no
I didn’t plan a schedule for Squares but did sketch out some weekly goals for other projects that come up between now and June. Since Squares is due in June, I can put it off a *tiny* bit. I accidentally ended up with a half-semester course, so even though the teaching/grading load is heavy right now, my course load is lessened for the second half of the semester when I’ll be more focused on research, service, and a conference. Yay for going to a conference!
This week:
1 submit revised conference prospectus
2 complete this week’s work for online writing course
3 write a blog post
4 finish article review
5 finish reading book for review due next week
What an intriguing idea about identity! I need to think about that.
DeleteMy protagonist's central conflict is internal: Does she want to set and strive for new big goals in her 50s? Like writing a novel, refocusing on scholarship, starting a podcast? Or does she mostly want to enjoy herself (i.e., read for leisure, watch movies, walk on the beach, hang out with family). What is the best use of her time? What matters most? How does she want to spend her time, especially if time is short? Some protagonists in this situation would want to set out to see the world and do all kinds of adventurous things, but that is not her inclination. But she is torn between GOALS and WHY BOTHER?
ReplyDeleteLast week:
1. Prep sufficiently while not prepping incessantly. I keep wanting to get SUPER PREPARED and organized to make the semester easier, but then I end up spending twice as much time on stuff as I would have if I had to cram it in the hour before class, which means I feel more prepared but I work more hours to get there. DONE.
2. Research and Writing for 2 hours. NOT DONE.
People:
1. A friend proposed we have a "high tea" together, so I want to schedule that. DONE.
2. Get together with one friend this week--maybe M or C. DONE. Walked with J. Took fresh-baked scones to have tea with C.
3. Send out 3-5 cards or letters. NOT DONE. Only one.
Wellness:
1. Walk 4-5x. ALMOST. 3x
2. Meditate at least 3x. DONE.
3. Skip evening treat 2x. DONE.
Regarding prep, I did a lot of it over the weekend, which I kind of resented at the time, but it has made my week (so far) so much less stressful.
This week:
Work:
1. Get next week's Brit Lit reading done by Sunday.
2. Do most of the prep for next week to clear the way for heavier grading.
3. Find short stories for independent study student. Create first few assignments for her.
4. Research/write for 1 hour.
People:
1. Send at least three cards/letters to people.
2. Have lunch with my mom.
3. Float like mist through all four of my son's 4-H activities this week. Support him.
Wellness:
1. Walk 4x
2. Meditate 4x
3. Skip late-night treat 3x. Fast at least 13 hours 2x.
4. Reschedule appointment that got cancelled.
Maybe your heroine needs to go deep rather than broad. Sort of related: I keep being surprised by recently-retired people who say they now notice nature in a way they didn't before, the changing of plants, arrival or departure of bugs with the seasons, that sort of thing. This astonishes me. Maybe it's all the gardening I do, but I feel like I'm already well in tune with something that some people think of as a perk of retirement. So maybe what you want to do depends on what you're already doing?
DeleteTopic: I ran into a central conflict for this session/story that I would never have imagined--I have a mean girl, and her coterie, in my doctoral research class. I should have been prepared, because my specialty is now subsumed into many others, as has happened with many disciplines. For example, my university has the multi-headed monster called the “World Languages and Literatures” department that far too many institutions have these days. So I should not have been surprised that my classmates were less than impressed by the solitary “old-school” librarian in their midst. In many ways this conflict is a good thing. It is easy to become complacent when one’s interests and passions are not challenged. It clarifies why I want to pursue the degree, and it makes me appreciate the scholars who come to use the collection. And best of all, it gives me a wonderful villain. This woman has such wonderful possibilities as a negative force.
ReplyDeleteI laid my key and pencil on a shelf by the door as I entered the vault, so that I could peruse my favorite texts without fumbling. A motion sensor turned on the lights as I turned slowly, surveying the stacks with excitement. It wasn’t in the catalog yet--that would be too easy, but I’d seen a letter from the donor. Of course the volumes awaiting my attention were in no useful order--placed on the shelf as they arrived in the middle of the last century. While I would have to open almost each book, given the blank vellum bindings, not even mentioning those shelved page-edge out, I didn’t mind finding out what other delights awaited me.
I heard the slight noise as I was poring through the 1559 Virgil. I turned to the doorway, and saw my nemesis holding my key in her hand.
“You don’t deserve this,” she said. “You haven’t the level of knowledge that it entails.”
“I think I have,” I said, adding “Feu.”
At the word, an electric-blue flame surrounded the key. She who does not deserve to be named cried out, dropping the key to the floor. Clutching her hand with the other, she cursed at me.
I waved a hand at her, saying “Alez.”
She turned reluctantly to the door, dragging her feet, but unable to stop as she left the vault, and fled through the stacks.
I picked up the key, still glowing faint blue, and returned to Virgil.
This week’s goals:
Register for class. Yes.
Rent my books. Yes.
Pack for the conference. Yes.
Write the update on the special issue. Yes.
Finish the plausible schedule--what to do when, and set milestones. Yes.
Analysis:
It was been a crazily busy week, and promises to continue this week. The conference was so-so. I saw a couple of colleagues and friends, but attendance was down, and many of the people I had hoped to see did not come. I worried far too much about the report on the special issue (a common thing with me) and it went fine. I got all my books for class and registered without dificulty, thankfully.
Next week’s goals:
Do homework for class.
Start an idea file for rare books articles.
Read the Illumination article ruthlessly for gaps and wordy pieces.
Go to class.
Walk the stacks every 45 minutes.
It is great to read everyone’s genres, and the conflicts are all very familiar. Have a lovely rest of the week. Float like mist, everyone.
Forsitan et haec meminisse! I loved this week's installment, especially your choice of book and language for your words of power.
DeleteWhile not our oldest text, the 1559 Virgil is one of my favorites here. And I am having great fun with the story and all its layers.
DeleteI have just finished the interview process for the new job, and if they offer it to me it will be a very hard decision. The commute will be horrible, even if I move (and moving is HARD), because I am a one person household with a moderate income and the places which are relatively easy to commute from are very expensive in the place. The university is on high ground and in high towers, all transport links deliver the traveller to low ground, I have multiple structural weaknesses which mean that I am In Pain just from getting around at the interview despite a couple of short taxi journeys which would NOT be affordable on the day to day and a lot of lift use (the lift, apparently, is often not reliable in term time). Which makes me feel like a total wuss - I would definitely get fitter! - but, realistically, I currently make a car commute of 20-30 minutes and park no more than 5 minutes walk from my building. On a LOT of days, I wouldn't manage anything longer on the way home because I Am Done, or wouldn;t go in at all if it was any longer. I get about 40 minutes of warning for a full migraine, for example...
ReplyDeleteThere are smaller issues about equipment and one of those modern, lots of glass, identikit, super tidy buildings where everyone seems to have just Marie Condo'd their office and the rather pod-people-ish sameness of many of the people around. And larger ones about whether I actually WANT to teach the white middle class high-scoring elite this place recruits, rather than my motley band of mostly first generation, rather badly let down by the education system students (also pretty white, but that reflects the local community here, and it really doesn't in the other city).
But their finance office seems to actually work, and they expressed horror at my norm of teaching 4-5 days every week, and two grad students cornered me at the lunch to ask for some advice about their work on the basis of my talk, which made me feel like perhaps my well-honed change intolerance is misleading.
I actually kind of hope I don't get an offer...
I see why that would be a difficult decision. Maybe at least having interviewed makes you appreciate the good points of where you are now? Although it seems like the good points are more about where you live than where you work. It still seems like a very good thing that you got an interview and seem to feel that it went pretty well. I hope it's a good omen for improvements in the future, however they happen.
DeleteCentral conflict: my heroine is trying to decide whether to try to do the hard thing that people agree is right, philosophically, but also kind of futile and stupid, or to do the easier thing which is also morally good and has the added advantages of gaining her social approval and she actually wants to do it (and would gain time for things she enjoys from doing it). You're smart, you know the world is all in shades of grey, is possible palest grey not actually at least as good if not better than hideously difficult white, and what if Hideously Difficult requires that she NOT do other good things (e.g. she cannot be the good, attentive daughter and family member she wants to be due to not being home and trudging around in woods with no way to even mail a letter and all the paper is soggy anyway), is the overall sum of positives even coming out how she thinks it might?
ReplyDeleteBook 5 of the Witcher series involves a lot of Geralt brooding (they all do) about his changing position on neutrality, which may be influencing me. The Witcher sequence is clearly in translation (in that slightly clunky way that actually gives some books charm and in the case of fantasy books actually helps with getting over the "they are all writing and speaking modern English except the Other Races doing some kind of cod celtic with umlauts and mid-word apostrophes or pseudogermanic in italics and this isn't quiiiiite reasonable" hurdle) and I can tell that objectively it's not even very good fantasy (and one can Critique with great joy through many lenses, despite the main characters' Superiority to The Morality Of Peasants - in fact one can critique that, too) plus the author's desire to create a mixed-up chronology coupled with the editor's problems with how many lines to leave between paragraphs versus sections is getting old fast even though I am a fast and uncritical reader when in the mood who does this in her own tale weaving, so I've followed along just fine. But I really really want to download ALL the rest NOW, and yet I should wait until I've been paid, and ideally until I've actually gotten slightly less weary and behind with work, because I will just go in head first and not come up until it's All Read. I am blaming my niece for this, but it's been coming a while...
LAST WEEK:
Delete1) aim to hit most of these habits most days (stop work at 6, bed before midnight, no sugar or bread, packing food for the day, a movement break every 45 minutes when sitting, at least one non-work non-screen thing every evening) not very good at all, and will not be this week either
2) Completely prep next week's teaching and make a start on the week after (6x 1 hour classes, 3 tutorials, a lot of paperwork, 3 x 2 hour classes, some bits and pieces. Only about half of it is new...) this week got done. Next week will be started on Saturday... sigh... my grading isn't finished :-(
3) pick up the threads of FlatPaper1 (optimistic) NO
4) arrange a Skype with co-secretary to plan out the year NO
5) have fun with Niece and Sister! Yes, I did, and when my sister was out with the dog I got to hear all about Niece's plans for her first date (on Valentine's Day. She and her sweetie are both Jane-level planners...) which was sweet. But I really regretted spending a large chunk of the weekend there on Monday morning when I felt I'd had no actual break!
No goals for this week really, I won't meet 'em.
Pale grey ftw. There is nothing wrong with looking after yourself whilst doing good for others. Hideously Difficult is only for those who long to be saints.
DeleteI didn't find the right words - I think my central conflict is that my heroine wrries that palest grey is the start of a slippery slope. That by letting that sliver of ambiguity in, she will open the way for more and more and more. Which still isn't the right words, perhaps because colour is the wrong analogy. Perhaps that there is a flat place to stand in the teeth of the wind, and it's cold and no fun and your eyes water, but it's stable and you can stand and sit and close your eyes without fear of falling. To get out of the wind means moving onto gently sloping ground, finding a rock to sit behind, but the land slopes away quickly, and what looks like solid ground with a few pebbles may be the start of a talus slope. It's so easy to amble downhill, and so hard to walk back up. It's much harder to tell, once you're off that slab to any degree, whether you stand on solid ground or loose shale. When the rain and ice come, even a small slope is slippery, even if you're sitting quietly minding your own business. And if no-one's on the slab, the safe place, maybe no-one can find it or know its there. Maybe the person on the slab helps others, watches out for danger, signposts a way to safer ground. But they're also cold and tired and fed up and jealous of all the people sitting under rocks and saying that the talus isn't that bad and only stupid people or lazy people or people not like us will actually ever trip or slip or be lured down into the treacherous valleys and oh yes someone should stand on the slab but I'm too important in other ways or it should only be a perfect person or...
DeleteI'm not wording well. But the central dilemma is I see now a version of the age-old situation where if someone says something negative about an Other, and you, for whatever reason, don't say "that's mean" or "you're wrong", just stay silent, you're basically agreeing with it. And next time maybe you make an "mmm" noise, or smile a bit too, because that's polite and socially correct, just because we're primates who fear social isolation as if it were death, because to parts of our brains that's exactly what follows being cast out. And ten or twenty years later, well, we've seen it happen in history, in our own lifetimes, and we fear it's happening now.
But I can't tell those real stories, even with a layer of imagination, because I don't feel I have the right from my position of privilege and comparative safety, because I don't have the right skills, because I don't have the emotional/psychic strength it takes to do it right, so I use the tools I can use, the languages and tropes of fantasy and myth, and I try to find that universal, to state the Truth I glimpse in a way which is tolerable to the frailties of the human system, which will not weaken my reader with despair, but infuse them with encouragement and hope to at least frown not smile, and maybe when the time and place is right to say "that's not fair" or "why would you say that?", or "how can I help?" to the Other.
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