Last
week JaneB talked about seasonal self-care.
As a follow up – a crucial part of self-care is kindness to ourselves. I’ve been part of this group for five or six
years now, and one regular pattern is that we all set goals that are beyond
what we can achieve. How are you kind to
yourself about those things that don’t get done? I like to think that I can
take what I’ve learned about dealing with the small successes and failures of
each week to the bigger ones we all deal with.
As always, use the prompt if it works, reflect on last week, set goals for next week.
Goals from last week:
Bardiac:
1. 1. First big committee meeting
2. Already grading
3. Start prepping for the search I'm chairing (it's a spring search, which seems weird)
4. Practice violin (I just joined an intermediate level orchestra!)
5. Get to bed by 9:30 most nights.
6. Get some exercise.
2. Already grading
3. Start prepping for the search I'm chairing (it's a spring search, which seems weird)
4. Practice violin (I just joined an intermediate level orchestra!)
5. Get to bed by 9:30 most nights.
6. Get some exercise.
Dame Eleanor Hull
*tidy the garden
*daily reading/writing for research purposes (x5)
*grade one set of papers when they come in
*daily exercise and stretching (x6)
*daily reading/writing for research purposes (x5)
*grade one set of papers when they come in
*daily exercise and stretching (x6)
Elizabeth Ann Mitchell
Walk at least 2.5 miles x 5.
Take homemade lunch x 4.
Edit one page of Illuminated x 3.
Outline the intro and lit review of Aurelius.
Take homemade lunch x 4.
Edit one page of Illuminated x 3.
Outline the intro and lit review of Aurelius.
Heu Mihi
1. 60 pages of proofs/indexing
2. Sit x 5
3. Language x 2
4. All prep for Mon & Tues done by the time I go home on
Friday
5. Submit abstract #1
6. Consult with co-editor and determine next steps for
collection
Humming42/Linda
1 Finish and submit book review
2 Submit article review
3 Finish writing sample for residency proposal
4 Write every day
2 Submit article review
3 Finish writing sample for residency proposal
4 Write every day
JaneB
This week is induction week so we have lots
of stuff for first years but all classes for higher years start NEXT week. Sort
of a gentle start, sort of not! I also have agreed to do an outreach event on
Thursday evening, sigh.
1) maintain the habits I started in the intersession (bed before midnight, 45s to get small regular movement in at work, keeping a food/mood diary, not eating refined sugar, leaving work before 6, doing something non-work every workday evening)
2) small things this week: finish drawing up a figure for the grant idea called PCfu (ProblemChild follow up) and send the draft to FormerPDF. move FlatProject reanalysis on one step. Check with FormerPDF what she did about PC1 issue. Sort out FavouriteIslands samples. Chase up obituary.
3) prepare all teaching materials for following week, and set meeting times for all my tutees and project students
1) maintain the habits I started in the intersession (bed before midnight, 45s to get small regular movement in at work, keeping a food/mood diary, not eating refined sugar, leaving work before 6, doing something non-work every workday evening)
2) small things this week: finish drawing up a figure for the grant idea called PCfu (ProblemChild follow up) and send the draft to FormerPDF. move FlatProject reanalysis on one step. Check with FormerPDF what she did about PC1 issue. Sort out FavouriteIslands samples. Chase up obituary.
3) prepare all teaching materials for following week, and set meeting times for all my tutees and project students
OceanGirl101/Jenny
1) Complete chapter for edited volume, first draft
2) Send bits of conference paper to co-author for developing into chapter for edited volume
3) Pull new samples for Fri lab
4) Follow up with new decorator appointments
5) Exercise x 3
6) Plane ticket for memorial service for Mom to dedicate bench at Botanical garden
2) Send bits of conference paper to co-author for developing into chapter for edited volume
3) Pull new samples for Fri lab
4) Follow up with new decorator appointments
5) Exercise x 3
6) Plane ticket for memorial service for Mom to dedicate bench at Botanical garden
Susan
1. Read essays for Journal.
2. Send off violence
3. Look at Race, decide a plan
4. Walk in evenings if necessary
5. Read for reading group
2. Send off violence
3. Look at Race, decide a plan
4. Walk in evenings if necessary
5. Read for reading group
How am I kind to myself about those things that don’t get done? Well, first, I believe that reach must exceed grasp (or what's a heaven for?), so although I set ambitious goals, that's partly just to keep them in my sights, and I may expect that they'll take longer than scheduled to complete. Second, I've long borrowed Dr Crazy's dictum that "D's get degrees," so if I finish 60-70% of the items on a list, I'm doing acceptably well. Third, after 20 years or so living with fibromyalgia, I accept that there will be bad days, that regular exercise and similar physical care-taking are part of the cost of doing business in the body I was issued, and that it's important to focus on pleasurable things as well as on professional goals. Finally, I recognize that having a full list of Stuff To Do means that I'm healthy and active enough to have Stuff To Do, rather than being down for the count due to age or illness, with my list consisting of items like "get dressed" and "take meds." This awareness helps a lot to avert stressing out over long lists.
ReplyDeleteHow I did:
*tidy the garden. YES (of course now it needs tidying again).
*daily reading/writing for research purposes (x5). x2---better than nothing.
*grade one set of papers when they come in. YES? Now I don't remember which set I was thinking of. I did the mid-week in-class work right away, and I'm halfway through the papers that came in on Friday.
*daily exercise and stretching (x6). YES! Since this is the health bullet, I will add that I did a little FODMAP testing that did not go well but was more or less shut down by ranitidine; and I worked out a recipe for safe chocolate chip cookies that is most definitely a life enhancer!
If Sir John had a health condition that was manageable through diet, I would take up the challenge of cooking a variety of tasty, safe dishes for him, and consider it both an expression of love and a creative outlet. I need to treat myself the same way. I tend to stick to the same meals all the time, because it's easier, but it does get monotonous and even with my limited ingredients, I could manage greater variation if I put in the time and effort.
I hope you can figure out more interesting food options. I realize I cook a very narrow range of things most of the time because I'm just tired...
DeleteNew goals are similar:
ReplyDelete*garden work;
*daily reading/writing (x5), OR a weekly total of 50 pages read, 1250 words written;
*grade 1.5 sets of student papers;
*daily exercise and stretching (x6); try a muffin recipe;
*make at least two phone calls regarding appointments for maintenance of me and the house.
I'm still working on the schedule problem. Every time I settle into a good sleep rhythm, something happens to disturb it, and then I'm back to struggling with TRQ and dropping the TLQ. But as we're starting week 5 of the semester, and it is finally looking a little like autumn rather than like August took a deep breath and held it, maybe this will be the turning point!
last week's goals:
ReplyDelete1) maintain the habits I started in the intersession (bed before midnight, 45s to get small regular movement in at work, keeping a food/mood diary, not eating refined sugar, leaving work before 6, doing something non-work every workday evening) mostly yes - I was late leaving one night, and one night I left the office at 5 but didn't get home until nearly 11 due to the outreach event. but so far so adequate
2) small things this week: finish drawing up a figure for the grant idea called PCfu (ProblemChild follow up) and send the draft to FormerPDF. move FlatProject reanalysis on one step. Check with FormerPDF what she did about PC1 issue. Sort out FavouriteIslands samples. Chase up obituary. no, yes, no, no, yes - it's submitted, approved by the family and head of department, and gone to be edited. And I did also write an application for a PhD studentship for an opportunity that I found with very short notice, so I did some writing stuff
3) prepare all teaching materials for following week, and set meeting times for all my tutees and project students yes (although only by working about a 53 hour week, when I get paid for 30 - ah, academe...), yes ish - the ball is the in court of my project students (less than half have responded) and for my second years I set a time but then the timetable changed so they have a clash and I have to do it again, sigh
In some ways this was a lovely week - perfect early autumn weather with cold mornings and clear skies and afternoons warm enough to sit out, my routines of self-care went quite well, the new first years are their usual shiny beginning of year selves and the team I'm planning the major rewrite of first year classes with is mostly being fantastic. In other ways - work chaos continues, there is no declared plan for covering the work of the people who are leaving, and the leavers scheme has been opened to academics. Also the national union called two strike ballots (one on pensions, one on casualisation, pay erosion and working conditions generally). We won't even mention world politics. Oh, and I found out that my former head of department never documented my need for technical support on health grounds, and the occupational health paperwork just says that I am clumsy, it doesn't record the underlying medical reasons for my clumsiness, and it says I am "a bit anxious about lab work" rather than recording my doctor-documented generalised anxiety disorder which is somewhat exacerbated by using lethal chemicals (I am REALLY TIRED of hearing that because I can work and because I smile and talk when I meet people I can't be that sick. Why will they not accept my self-report that much of my weight issue is essentially self-harm to manage emotion, especially anxiety, that I need medications to cope, that I don't work part time because I'm lazy or have a life, it's because I spend my days off in recovery mode sleeping 12-14 hours and all the rest, that I smile and talk because a) it's my hiding-in-public mechanism because I'm big and tall and obvious so I can't physically vanish and b) it's social conditioning... welcome to life as a fat middle aged woman who has a Protestant Work Ethic approach to what you don't do when you are sick and no immediate family or partner to make me have more of a life). Whine whine and yes please I would like cheese with my whine!
The coming week... well. It won't be better (leaving do for three beloved support team members, both our administrators and the technician who supported all my work. I'm currently making blondies and brownies for that, and expect to cry in public. And other challenges). But it will be different.
goals for the week coming:
Delete1) maintain the habits I started in the intersession (bed before midnight, 45s to get small regular movement in at work, keeping a food/mood diary, not eating refined sugar, leaving work before 6, doing something non-work every workday evening)
2) small things this week: finish drawing up a figure for the grant idea called PCfu (ProblemChild follow up) and send the draft to FormerPDF. move FlatProject reanalysis to the final step. Check with FormerPDF what she did about PC1 issue. Sort out FavouriteIslands samples.
3) prepare all teaching materials for following week, see all my project students.
4) read through last year's NaNoWriMo effort
TOPIC
I find that setting goals helps me keep in touch with the variety of projects I have going on and to think through my priorities each week. Even when I don't meet my goals, checking in here often helps me recall that I did other things instead (e.g. this week - missed most writing goals but wrote something else that came up), in a way I wouldn't if I just looked back at the end of term and saw all the things I DIDN'T do. Plus I plan for everything going well, but life isn't like that. If I PLAN for things going badly, though, that feels like defeatism...
I'm just trying to process that the HOD did not document your need for technical assistance...
DeleteAnd I agree about setting goals helping me see all the balls in the air!
It was lovely to have two days that really felt like the start of fall. This week was a pretty good week writing wise, but not for other tasks. After this the semester really starts to ramp up so I will have to pull back a bit from writing time which I am nervous about. How good am I at being kind to myself when I don't reach my goals? Truthfully, not so kind, but I am better than I used to be. Like others, I try to set more realistic goals, which helps, but then when I don't even meet those I feel doubly grumpy. Its an ongoing struggle, to one, live a semi-balanced life with things like drinks and movies and two, to actually meet my expectations work-wise. For example, personal things are starting to feel like they are slipping which means that I need to work a little less and spend more time on those things....which I did today. What I really try to remember is when I die, at my memorial service no one is going to say "she really should have published more papers." My strategy will likely be to cut out some personal fun things but to try to keep the exercise going as that is more important for stress reduction.
ReplyDelete1) Complete chapter for edited volume, first draft no, but 80% done
2) Send bits of conference paper to co-author for developing into chapter for edited volume no
3) Pull new samples for Fri lab yes
4) Follow up with new decorator appointments yes
5) Exercise x 3 no x 1 only
6) Plane ticket for memorial service for Mom to dedicate bench at Botanical garden no
This week:
1. finish edited chapter #1, outline #2
2. get Dept Chair info requested to nominate me for term prof
3. get collaborators text
4. plane tic to Mom's memorial event in nov
5. exercise x 3
opic: First, a comment on Susan’s mention of being a part of this group for five or six years. I bookmarked the TLQ home page in September 2014, and I have to refresh the page each time I open it to get to the current. Every time I show up here, I’m reminded of this group’s longevity. And we persist.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate Dame Eleanor’s wisdom on the topic, as well as Susan’s reminder that being disappointed in myself serves no positive purpose. I try to remember to extend to myself the same kindness that I would to a friend needing some encouragement. Learning to be kind to myself is certainly a process.
Last week:
1 Finish and submit book review: yes
2 Submit article review: yes
3 Finish writing sample for residency proposal: yes
4 Write every day: no, missed a day with the icky effects of a vaccination
This week:
1 Finish writing text for online course
2 Submit residency application
3 Submit job application
4 Finish and submit next book review
5 Write every day
Should be Topic, not opic.
DeleteI'm not...great about going easy on myself, although I can get there. My fear that cutting myself slack will result in a total abandonment of all responsibilities is less acute than it used to be, so I'm working on loosening my grip. Bumping daily sitting to the top of my list is helpful, especially since I've been quite good about doing it at 8:00 am. Just 15 minutes, but it's something, and it's a reminder that *doing* isn't necessarily all it's cracked up to be.
ReplyDeleteLast week:
1. 60 pages of proofs/indexing - 74 pages
2. Sit x 5 - Yes
3. Language x 2 - No. I'm dropping this until the proofs are done.
4. All prep for Mon & Tues done by the time I go home on Friday - Yes, or at least well enough that I could ignore classes all weekend
5. Submit abstract #1 - Yes
6. Consult with co-editor and determine next steps for collection - Yes
This week:
1. 60 pages of proofs (to p. 135)
2. Sit x 5
3. Finish and submit second abstract
4. Read one grad student's chapter
5. All prep for Mon & Tues done by the time I go home on Friday
6. Sort clothes for donation
7. Keep the grading moving along, without letting Feelings About Grading get in the way
I'm teaching at 9:30 on Monday, and I hate the way I am prepping on Sunday night...but I try to keep my Friday for research stuff, so it's a trade off.
DeleteHi Everyone!
ReplyDeleteHere are the goals from last week:
For this week:
1. First big committee meeting
2. Already grading
3. Start prepping for the search I'm chairing (it's a spring search, which seems weird)
4. Practice violin (I just joined an intermediate level orchestra!)
5. Get to bed by 9:30 most nights.
6. Get some exercise.
I've done BEST with work stuff: I'm doing well on committee work, and completely done with all grading until Wednesday.
I've done worst on practice and exercise.
Between you folks, me, and the whole of the internet: my department is doing a search for chair, and I'm seriously considering putting my name forward. So, the BIG, and urgent job this week is to decide, and if I decide yes, to write my application letter. (If I decide no, that's fine, too.)
If any of you have been chair, I'd really appreciate your thoughts...
Otherwise, here goes:
1. Work on my writing projects that aren't immediate (big project and my sabbatical report
2. Exercise.
3. Practice.
In thinking about the chair job, you might find Liz Lehfeldt's blog helpful: https://talesoutofschoolblog.wordpress.com/, which she started while department chair....
DeleteI think you should apply.
DeleteI haven't looked at Tales Out of School for awhile, so I went back. In a recent post, she said something that sounded very familiar (we can all congratulate ourselves, I guess): "A few years ago I started a very small online writing group with some colleagues who lived all over the country. I had some self-serving reasons: I had a writing project I needed to finish and I knew I needed accountability. But I also drew together this group of friends because I suspected they would be good for one another and benefit from the opportunity. Two and a half years later, we’re still going strong. Sometimes we touch base about writing projects, but we have also morphed into a group that offers all other kinds of professional and personal support."
Topic: I asked because I veer erratically between being overly kind to myself and feeling absurdly inadequate when I don't get things done. It's one reason I've started setting more modest goals, though as JaneB noted, setting goals helps me remember all my tasks. This is one of those things that I think is an ongoing process.
ReplyDeleteHow I did last week:
1. Read essays for Journal. NO
2. Send off violence YES
3. Look at Race, decide a plan NO
4. Walk in evenings if necessary YES
5. Read for reading group YES
Well, I forgot that I had agreed to read a recent dissertation for a colleague, and so put everything else aside for that. I made some progress there, but not probably enough. And Friday my mother wanted to go to the Climate March (which was small here, but we were there) and so that interrupted the day. I've been very successful on the exercise front -- been making the 10,000 step goal, and also the exercise goal. If I can keep that up for three more weeks it might be a real habit!
Goals for the week ahead (very modest because Friday, usually a research day, is devoted to a department retreat, or what a friend calls a M.O.U.L.D. -- meeting of unusually long duration.)
1. Finish reading dissertation
2. Grade papers
3. Read on section for journal
4. Keep up the walking
5. Read for pleasure
Topic: I still have some work to do about not beating myself up for not accomplishing as much as I would like, but I’m getting to be a little better at not comparing myself to colleagues. In grad school, my cohort of medievalists used to grouse about how easy the modernists had it, since they didn’t have to start by learning three to seven medieval/classical languages. But when I look back, I learned those languages because I loved being able to read works in the original languages, and it was okay that I was the tortoise and not the hare. I was reminded of that this past weekend, where some of my author friends can crank out several thousands of words in a day, while I rejoiced at 2 or 3 thousand.
ReplyDeleteFor me, having my head in the right space is far more important than checking things off the list. Ironically, when my head is right, the work comes more easily. I am much harder on myself when I’m upset by my boss “strolling” by to verify I’m at my desk working. I can forgive not getting things done as quickly as I like when I’m amused by her 6th-grade machinations.
That said, I do like rewards--the purchase of a nice notebook or a pretty shade of emerald ink for my fountain pen goes a long way for me.
Last week:
Walk at least 2.5 miles x 5. Yes, with some mountain hiking thrown in
Take homemade lunch x 4. Only 3, but it’s a start
Edit one page of Illuminated x 3.Yes
Outline the intro and lit review of Aurelius.Only the intro
Analysis: I had planned some of the above goals to fill in when I ran into writer’s block on my fiction during the retreat, but I had an incredible time, and wrote over 5,000 words between 7pm Friday and 12noon Sunday. That is an amazing amount of fiction words for me. Beyond that, brainstorming plot twists, sharing great reading suggestions, and just being in the zone was so healing.
Even so, I did get some work done before and after the retreat, as well as managing to find my boss’ puerile behavior laughable today.
Next week’s goals:
Walk at least 2.5 miles x 5.
Take homemade lunch x 5.
Edit one page of Illuminated x 5.
Finish outlining the lit review of Aurelius.
Pull/shred fifteen files.
Destress, breathe, meditate x 7.
Breathe deep, shake off the stress, and float like mist, everyone.