I try to do some freewriting journaling every morning. I find that as I am in the process of throwing all of the crap onto the page, I end up writing about how I need to do this and need to do that. When I became aware of this, I began to stop my writing and ask myself if I really needed to do all of these things and the kind of desperate urgency I created around all of these things: washing the dishes, calling my mother, replying to an email from a student...these are typically TLQ things that I was treating like TRQ. And bringing that on myself.
I have now added a new element to this freewriting practice. When the initial flush of writing begins to slow, I begin a section with “I want.” I have learned so much from this. Apparently the thing I want most frequently is peace. And I work through that: if I don’t feel peaceful, why not? What is amiss in my life? Can I fix it? Can I ignore it? Am I making too much out of it? Can I do a “need” item and then feel some peace for not holding it over my own head?
This week, let’s talk about the things we think we need to do urgently, as well as the things we might want but have not yet acknowledged. Are there ways to push back on all the “need to do” items? Are there ways to fulfill aspects of the “want”? What would happen if you carried your want around with you, mindfully? What can you do now/today/this week to get what you want?
Happy week ahead!
Contingent Cassandra
1. Keep moving; add at least walking and swimming to gardening (at least one most days), maybe weight-lifting
2. Initiate or follow up on friend/family connections/reconnections (need to do more of this)
3. Continue computer work (get backup computer ready to serve as main computer; organize main computer & gather supplies/info in prep for upgrades)
4. Do initial planning/organizing for summer class (will be TRQ, but isn't yet; I want to allow time for both computer upgrade and taking some time off before start of summer term)
5. Long-form reading, chaos-reduction, and/or minor repairs as time allows
Daisy: doing fieldwork!
Dame Eleanor Hull
1. Talk to Sir John about selling (or not) the house.
2. Keep 9-1 office hours MWThF (M will have to be a bit short)
3. Maintain working sleep schedule.
4. Make progress on Revision #1.
5. 2 or more hours' worth of Administrivia, mainly personal.
6. Another round of weeding nasty invasive species that spread via roots.
7. Four hours basement sorting.
8. 30-60 minutes a day of translation work.
9. Return some books.
Earnest English
- Health: take supplements, get through it, try not to eat ten tons of ice cream but five tons is probably okay
- Farmstead: try not to let everything fall to Husband. Water seeds, take care of chicks and ducklings in the morning.
- Family: Therapy -- I'm trying. I am.
- Work Planning: I have so much work that I can't look at the whole thing at once or I'll turn to stone. But if I look at little reflections of it, I can scurry and figure how to get that done. I just have to breathe through it, move like water (have I mentioned that my shoulders are now so tense they hurt?), plod plod plod.
Elizabeth Anne Mitchell
½ hour on Pierpont x 5
½ hour on Prudence x 5
½ hour walking x 5
½ hour WWII novella x 5
Good Enough Woman
1) Do ALL THE THINGS and be present while doing them. Make a detailed schedule today (Sunday) that includes errands, shopping lists, phone calls to make, and events. On Monday, order cupcakes and make any reservations needed for Friday.
2) Finish editing Chapter Two even if this means staying up late (or skipping TV with my husband) in order to do so.
3) Make plans to focus entirely on work the following week. Decide whether or not to stay home or leave for a few days. Make reservations if I decide to leave.
4) Print and review "intent to submit" documents. (EEP!)
5) Make to-do list and packing list for upcoming three-week family trip.
Humming42
1 Read 50 pages of Moon Circling book
2 Read 50 page of new RPB book
3 Read 100 pages of Mercury book
4 Read parts 3-4 for Mars
5 write to new RPB editor
Jane B
1) work effectively with PDF and Problem Child's Visitor to make some real progress
2) paperwork - for travel the week after next (passport arrived, thought I had no money because of freeze on all our normal travel pots, collaborator offered to pay for me, mad last minute booking panic, not sure if it's a good or bad thing, but _IF_ I can get the approvals signed off I'm travelling to a workshop...), and for LikesMaths (both supervisory records that don't match Rules perfectly due to them being on fieldwork, Incoming & other committee members being busy etc., and for their sample problem)
3) 500 words plus a diagram for Special Issue Paper
4) get all admin paperwork distributed
5) draft report and plan for Away Day (which is TLQ NOW but will be TRQ the week after my trip, and I might have a post-travel slump)
6) do at least two Nice To Me things every day (bed before midnight, gym visit, cook something healthy, eat only good snacks, read a chunk of fiction, do some handicrafts, do some decluttering, that sort of thing) and keep a note in done list.
karen
1. Exercise x2
2. Take notes out of one of the SoTL papers I found
3. Make a daily to do list that is realistic and focused
KJHaxton
Meetings
Marking
Susan
1. Finish Chap 4 and 5, and start introduction
2. Go back to reading for fun
3. Get some kind of order in the back yard.
4. Walk 3 x in addition to 3x class.
Waffles
1. Work on relat paper
2. Work on research strategy for F32
3. Do new analyses for Science paper
4. Try to get draft of remaining pieces of F32 done.
I'm back! And I don't like this "Week 6" business. To me, we're coming up on Week 1. But I'll play along.
ReplyDeleteNeeds and wants.... What I want is to feel like I have momentum with my writing, and that my projects are moving forward at a rate that means that they'll get done (or close to done) by the end of summer. Reflecting on your post, the "need" feeling that I'm getting distracted by is all the various yard and house projects that suddenly seem so urgent. If the yard were all finished (we moved in September), if that old freezer in the basement were disposed of, if my watch were mended, if the laundry were always done and the floor always vacuumed, the deck furniture re-finished, THEN I could REALLY focus...or something. That's a lie, obviously.
So I'm going to be hyper vigilant for the next few weeks about scheduling my time to ensure that I have writing blocks carved out, regardless of the other things. I hope that that will work. I was able to actually start writing again yesterday, and roughed in another 600 words this morning, so I'm feeling good about the possibility of getting moving again.
This Week's Goals:
1) Write 2000 words
2) Read at least 3 things relevant to current chapter
3) Think up, write, and send in conference proposal (!!)
4) Get through son's birthday circus intact
Glad you are back! One of the things I've always appreciated about TLQ is that if I didn't meet my goals in a given week, the next week was a whole new opportunity. I'm all for declaring Week 1.
ReplyDeleteAnd hooray for writing again. Hoping the momentum carries you forward.
I keep reminding myself that it doesn't all have to be done NOW. The important stuff will get done in time (whether that means "eventually" or "just in time"), and in the meantime, does it hurt anything to have a basket of clean laundry sitting in the living room because I'm doing something other than putting it away? I say no.
ReplyDeleteThere are things that need to happen at certain times. One of the things I find frustrating about the garden is that it needs work when it needs it, not when it's convenient for me, and if the grass is growing and weeds are burgeoning, then I need to get on with it. Sometimes I can get a zen lesson out of this, but mostly I think I need less garden. But it is clear to me that writing is my proper job, and gardening is a hobby that's not so much fun as I thought it would be, so I'm getting that clarity out of this.
Letting myself have small "wants" is a lot easier than letting of go the "need to do" urgency. I've found that if I try to fob myself off with something I don't want, I get obsessive about the want, and it's simpler and quicker just to have what I want (assuming it's something like chocolate, a coffee, or a chance to read something fun). Big wants, like working peacefully: I guess just being mindful of wanting that, and trying to do it without getting tangled in the "need to" list, could probably go a long way.
I'm having garden/yard issues too. I so appreciate your clarity on gardening, want/need, and the possible zen of it. I may try to do some reading when I get up and then go outside to think while I pull weeds.
DeleteReading, then thinking while weeding, sounds like a good way of balancing tasks, so long as you're able to think while doing something physical. I know it's often recommended, and I know plenty of people it works for, but I can only think on paper or screen.
DeleteThe week's results:
ReplyDeleteDame Eleanor Hull
1. Talk to Sir John about selling (or not) the house. YES
2. Keep 9-1 office hours MWThF (M will have to be a bit short). MW YES. Th-F were sick days. I'm making up a bit today.
3. Maintain working sleep schedule. Up to a point . . .
4. Make progress on Revision #1. YES
5. 2 or more hours' worth of Administrivia, mainly personal. YES
6. Another round of weeding nasty invasive species that spread via roots. NOT YET but probably on Sunday.
7. Four hours basement sorting. NOPE
8. 30-60 minutes a day of translation work. YES (4 days)
9. Return some books. YES
Goals for next week:
Dame Eleanor Hull
1. Keep 9-1 office hours MWThF
3. Restore/maintain working sleep schedule.
4. Make progress on Revision #1.
5. 2 or more hours' worth of Administrivia, mainly personal or involving travel plans.
6. Another round of weeding nasty invasive species that spread via roots.
7. Two hours basement sorting.
8. 30-60 minutes a day of translation work.
9. Return more books.
I'm going to have to come back later for analysis. Himself is up and we're going out.
Analysis: having set office hours (trying to preserve normality) definitely helped while dealing with some of the stresses of last week. I also managed to take a load of previously-sorted basement stuff to Goodwill, so that was progress even though I didn't get any more sorting done. And I had some routine dental and medical appointments, which I suppose qualifies as TLQ.
DeleteDecision on the house: too much going on this summer to get ourselves packed up. We are going to make a detailed plan, with intermediate deadlines for various tasks, so as to put it up for sale in April 2017. Much as I'd like to live somewhere more manageable, it's a relief not to be trying to pack while meeting assorted summer deadlines. Now I can just focus on writing, and keep pursuing gradual progress on the basement, garden, and repairs.
Cheers for clearing basement stuff! And also for you and Sir John deciding on a timeline for putting the house up for sale. Not only does that decision enable you to clear your mind, it also lets you set a schedule to manage that process.
Delete10. Proofs! EAM reminded me. They may now be a TRQ, but anyway, they have to be done this week.
DeleteCongrats on the decision -- one which sounds like it preserves sanity for everyone.
DeleteTopic: Wants and Needs
ReplyDeleteI definitely fall into the trap of putting other’s needs above my wants, and making them into my needs. Do I really need to correct everything that is wrong in the library catalog singlehandedly? Most of it is not even TRQ, much less TLQ. Do I really need to tap dance through the politics? The answer for the moment, at least until my Dean writes the transmittal letter on DH’s tenure next spring, is yes, but I can say no now and then. Do I really need to write the dreck that aligns with what everyone else in my college is writing? To this question, I can say no, and thank goodness, but actually avoiding falling into the trap is more difficult. I sometimes regret being the odd man out, but I try to revel in being different.
There are real “needs,” like gardens, as many of you pointed out, dependent on the season. My clear need is to get out of this house and settled in the new one with a minimum of vacation time taken. There are several routine medical tests and maintenance that need to be done as well during my “staycation.” I also need to let go of the anger/dismay that is beginning to cause physical pain in my sensitive stomach.
I also find that if I delay wants for too long, they begin to burn like needs. It is good that I can’t ignore them forever, but it is bad that I tend to ignore them until some physical symptom makes me pay attention. I want to concentrate, without guilt or having to justify my interests, on the kind of writing I want to do, which is admittedly peripheral to my college, but is solid humanities research. I want to plan strategically rather than reactively, both in the day-to-day details of the job, as well as in writing projects. I want to avoid office politics as much as I can, and shrug off what I cannot avoid.
Last week’s goals:
½ hour on Pierpont x 5 No.
½ hour on Prudence x 5 No.
½ hour walking x 5 Yes x 7
½ hour WWII novella x 5 Yes x 7
Analysis: I needed a break from the academic writing. I had to proof one article that was accepted last year and finally was available to proof, and I did final copyediting for DH’s article. It was productive, if not on the projects I expected.
I managed to walk a lot more this week by wearing the hiking boots everyday. Luckily, I am enough of an oddity that comments about my footwear diminished this week. I also managed more than a mile and a half walk with my Standard Poodle around a pond in a local park one evening.
I have been writing every day on the novella, and am now at 3551 words. I had planned 5K for the month, but I may exceed that goal, despite having a conference to attend the third week of June, and the craziness of the last week of June.
Next week’s goals:
Plan the rest of the Pierpont article--schedule and outline
Plan the Prudence book--revise outline and schedule
½ hour walking x 7
½ hour WWII novella x 7
I hope everyone has a good week. I am shocked it is already Week 6!
Absolutely this: "I want to plan strategically rather than reactively..." And even when we're able to find ways to be strategic, things still fly in the face of that and force that reactive response. I wonder if there's a way to strategize reacting. When I worked in public relations in the 1990s, there was a big trend to create a crisis management plan and accompanying communication plan for your organization. While on the one hand it feels like a Saturday Night Live skit, I wish I could treat other people's crises with a planned methodology that you hand to them to show the scheme of how it was going to work out. And keep them at bay while I tend to my own needs.
DeleteYay for walking and novella writing! Maybe you can sneak off to the corner and do some writing while sitting in conference sessions.
I would really like momentum for my writing as well. I had planned to work on my research strategy today, but it's just not really happening (partly due to the shooting in orlando - it's hitting me pretty hard, and partly due to low confidence). So, I would also really like to not get so overwhelmed by low-confidence. Much of the time, I can just keep pushing on, and sometimes it overwhelms me. I need to develop more of a support base outside of academia so that when I feel less good about academic stuff, I have other things going on and other things to feel good about.
ReplyDeleteWaffles
1. Work on relat paper - NOT DONE
2. Work on research strategy for F32 - STARTED
3. Do new analyses for Science paper - DONE
4. Try to get draft of remaining pieces of F32 done. - DONE
I also completed the R&R for a manuscript.
This week did me in. I tried to set some boundaries around 50% of my postdoc, and they were trampled on. So, I ended up having to rush to get some things done that were given to me last minute due to poor planning. The big problem for me with this is that mentor of research center postdoc 50% has made it clear that the work I am doing with other mentor has nothing to do with the research center. But, that is the work that I want to focus on (and is the focus of my NIH grant), so I feel then like I have to keep my research center 50% to exactly 50% so that all of the rest of my time can be dedicated to my research. This past week has shown me that when I try to do that, it doesn't work very well. Le sigh.
Goals for this week:
1. Analyses for support paper
2. Research strategy
3. Edits to other pieces of F32
Finding balance is even more of a struggle when others don't see things the same way you do. I admire your diligence on both fronts--trying to make your boundaries clear and then getting the work done even when those boundaries are not honored.
DeleteOrlando has left me utterly speechless. I'm just planting hearts anywhere I can in social media.
This week, let’s talk about the things we think we need to do urgently, as well as the things we might want but have not yet acknowledged. Are there ways to push back on all the “need to do” items? Are there ways to fulfill aspects of the “want”? What would happen if you carried your want around with you, mindfully? What can you do now/today/this week to get what you want? this is a huge set of questions, and I'm going to be thinking about them for a while.
ReplyDeleteOne of my first responses to the prompt was to realise that I taklk about what I want a lot - I want to go hom, I want to sleep, I want to be happier, I want the resources I need to do my job - often modified as "I just want..." and used to refer to something very unlikely or contrary to whatever else just happened. But actually, I really have very little idea what I actually want, beyond the immediate little physical things (that candy bar, to not get up yet, etc.). It's one of the things that keeps me in academia - I cannot conceive of any other line of work which I actually want, because I want to research and teach, both, in some form or other, without too much in the way of external structure enforced on my time. Need? Hmmm. Interesting word, and gets tangled up with 'deserve' and other similar things, and musings about wellness and rights and all sorts of things that are hard and I don't really have time for. I dream of a summer with a hammock and a stack of notebooks and the time t write enough to get the mess out of my head and lay it out and begin to organise it... and naps and piles of fresh fruit and crusty bread and local cheese and No Paperwork...
last week's goals
1) work effectively with PDF and Problem Child's Visitor to make some real progress this went OK. We still have a lot to do to be ready for the conference at the end of the month, and to meet the project obligations, and I worked far too much this week (clocked up over 50 hours at the office, and more around it, and I just cannot do that stuff any more), but there were good things in there. Just a pity the rest of the job wouldn't stop whilst that was happening! and that I don't get to carry on with it now...
2) paperwork - for travel the week after next approvals were signed off, so it has to happen. Must write talk... must practice positive attitude... must not stress about humid forecast and sore knees and Travelling Whilst Fat, and for LikesMaths records sorted, sample problem ongoing with no end in sight
3) 500 words plus a diagram for Special Issue Paper hahah no! However, the deadline has been extended to the end of July with apologies for the inconvenience, so it can be ignored for a week with impunity
4) get all admin paperwork distributed well, I did as I was encouraged to do and asked the admin staff to help with this and they sort of did it but changed a few things (probably because Incoming decided to interfere) and there was a bit of a blow-up over email about it and it's all stressful so I am ignoring it because Incoming directly instructed me to handle it this way even though I totally hate watching my nice, carefully thought out, effective system being abused and misused. This is the Way Of The Future.
5) draft report and plan for Away Day (which is TLQ NOW but will be TRQ the week after my trip, and I might have a post-travel slump) no draft report, draft plan better advanced than expected. Date of away day moved by three days in the later direction so less TRQish.
6) do at least two Nice To Me things every day did quite well on the early nights and eating well thing. It all fell apart Friday night... partly because the early nights had been encessary to enable the long days but between the two of them I'd been totally deprived of 'me time' and I need THAT too...
this coming week I'm going to a workshop related to Gallimaufrey - Monday = talk writing, Tuesday and Friday = travel, Wednesday and Thursday = workshop. Expecting to be rather stressed all throughout, and to not tackle anything else!
Deletegoals:
1) enjoy the workshop without wearng myself out, and if that means spending evenings in my hostel room staring at the ceiling instead of sociably eating out, that is what I will do.
2) try not to eat All The Things - eat one of the tasty things slowly and with enjoyment, ignore the rest.
3) work on staying in the moment and ignoring anything that might be happening elsewhere or in my email.
I hope the workshop, talk, and travel will be marvelous. Being mindful about eating while traveling is such a difficult challenge, but it sounds like you will be mindful about your decisions. Enjoy!
DeleteHello, everyone,
ReplyDeleteI’ve missed last week’s checking-in. Well, anyway…
Topic:
I always feel full of needs and wants. It is very difficult for me to do them all, then I sometimes try to list my needs and wants up on my notebook and think how I can chose the real needs and wants, and how I can do them. During writing them down, I think, ok I don’t have to do it, or I wonder if I really need this? Sometimes I feel good doing this understanding there are things I thought I had to do, but actually I won’t not have to. Sometimes I feel just disappointed what I really need to do and want to do, but the reality is the opposite.
Last goals(from week 4)
1) Set the time to write, and keep it. – Well, only a few days. Still, it is good I tried a few days.
2) Do a university project. Anyway, I have to. – Done. Yay!
3) Continue to work on Chapter 2. – I have been working on it. It is taking longer time and effort I had expected.
4) Writing exercise 3 of Goodson’s revised book. – Not thorough, but I did some.
5) 5 minute short exercise three times a day. – once or twice, but done.
6) No sugary sweets. Only some healthy snacks are ok. – almost done. Continue.
Next goals:
1) Set the time to write, and keep it.
2) Continue to work on Chapter 2. Revise the revision plan.
3) Writing exercise 4 of Goodson’s revised book.
5) 5 minute short exercise three times a day.
6) No snacks at night, just a good cup of milk, tea or coffee, instead.
Have a good week, everyone!
Having that relationship with your needs and wants is a good place to start. The lists give you a lot of insight into what you need and want, even if it doesn't minimize the frustrations of not being able to accomplish/have all of it.
DeleteYour comments on Chapter 2 remind me of something I read this morning--we can't really even know how long something will take to research and write, and sometimes the expectations set us up for feelings of failure. I keep pushing back my chapters deadlines and am now looking for that good place in between unrealistic deadlines and lack of motivation.
Thank you for your comment, hummming42! Yes, I have left my poor Chapter 2 for a while, because I did not feel like facing the reality: the intimidating revision work. I know it must get started, but I am still wondering at the gate.
DeleteWants and Needs. I feel lots of obligations -- to my colleagues and students, obviously; but also to my family and church. It's easy to let those drive my life. What I want - a greater sense of community, and a life filled with friends -- is more of a challenge because of where I live, and the various institutional constraints in which I work. The intellectual loneliness is the worst. I'm creating bits of that, but. . .
ReplyDeleteGoals for last week:
1. Finish Chap 4 and 5, and start introduction FINISHED 4 and 5; printed out INTRO for work
2. Go back to reading for fun NO
3. Get some kind of order in the back yard. A Little
4. Walk 3 x in addition to 3x class. NO
Did I mention I had jury duty this week? Yes. So that was half of two days before I was the defense attorney's first peremptory challenge. Guess they didn't want a history prof on the jury! In addition, they painted the exterior of my house this week, which caused more noise and disruption than I expected. (But it looks very pretty, so I'm happy at the end.) So that also slowed down garden work. But I've got my small admin task mostly done, so. . .
This week I have one meeting tomorrow, but otherwise have pretty clear time. On Friday I'm driving my mother down to visit my brother for the weekend, but I get a day in my favorite library.
Goals for next week:
1. Finish Intro, start conclusion
2. Read for fun
3. Walk at least twice in addition to 3x class.
4. Make progress on the garden
5. Start clearing stuff for travel over July, and get ready for sister's visit. (My sister is very orderly, so I'm trying to get through the junk piles before she comes!)
6. Make last arrangements (car rentals) for July trip.
Congrats on the freshly painted house and the excused removable from the jury! AND on chapters 4 and 5.
DeleteGood luck with the intro and conclusion this week!
I'm still giggling over my imagined courtroom scene in which the attorneys definitely don't want a history prof on the jury!
DeleteI hope leisure reading finds its way into your everyday soon. It can be such a tremendous pleasure.
Community. And a life filled with friends. YES. These matter. Thank you for reminding me of this again. aw
DeleteNeeds and Wants
ReplyDeleteOut of sheer overwork, I've had to allow myself free time in the last couple days. I look forward to doing my journaling in the morning and taking proper care of myself health-wise and getting back to the core of things, which is my summer project that does not start for another 12 days. I "need" to do a lot of grading before then. Sigh.
Last Week
Health: take supplements, get through it, try not to eat ten tons of ice cream but five tons is probably okay: DONE!
Farmstead: try not to let everything fall to Husband. Water seeds, take care of chicks and ducklings in the morning. NOT SO MUCH, BUT DONE.
Family: Therapy -- I'm trying. I am. NOT DONE, but so much smarter: I just told the therapist that we needed some time off until July. Super-smart, I am.
Work Planning: I have so much work that I can't look at the whole thing at once or I'll turn to stone. But if I look at little reflections of it, I can scurry and figure how to get that done. I just have to breathe through it, move like water (have I mentioned that my shoulders are now so tense they hurt?), plod plod plod. DONE
Analysis?
I can't do anymore than I'm doing, and yes, I still have a ton or two to grade. But at least the quarter is ending.
Upcoming Week
Health: Try to remember who you are at a deep level even when the shit starts rising high. Take supplements. Do fortifying things.
Farmstead: I'm starting to see that the farmstead stuff is integral to my health, fortifying. Keep it up.
Family: Be mellow as much as possible. The work is almost over and then there'll be summer.
Work planning: I haven't even figured out what days I'll be at work this week because this is one of those odd weeks. I'm just not getting it together. I'm so tired after grading and doing committee work over the weekend. I didn't finish but I just can't do anymore, and there's some time in the morning. Must do something else!!!
Oh, ice cream, I know...
DeleteSelf care for self preservation. I hope end of term comes quickly and those stresses ease. Your comment about putting off therapy reminds me of those moments when you release you are in charge of your own life and you get to decide--can be such a glorious epiphany. But more often than not, we feel locked into our commitments to people and to things.
Delete
ReplyDeleteAllan Wilson
Wants and needs: I have been prioritising emails and organising, and ignoring both what I need to do (research projects). Because I have been in a funk recently, I have been working on what I want a bit more as a strategy to get out of my funk, which worked, but I am now expecting the s*** to hit the fan because I am behind in what I need to do. It would be nice to be able to balance this better!
Last fortnights goals:
1. Finish draft ms and send back to MR -NO
2.Do revisions on CR - STARTED
3. submit whk -NO, but did some work on it reformatting etc. A bit more to tidy up
4. organise stats for ppw -YES, but not yet started
5. Eat chocolate more sparingly! -OK for a while, but last few days, NO
Too much to do I think, and too distracted, so I am going to pare back a bit this week and try and focus on doing things sequentially not scattergun.
Upcoming week:
1. Exercise every day
2. Redo methods, and tweak significance, so I can finally resubmit Whk
3. 2 hours on revisions CR
4. 2 hours on ppw
5. 2 hours on ms for MR
Sometimes the funk can overwhelm our ability to do anything, both wants and needs. I'm very glad to hear you have found ways to get out of the funk, and hope you might be in a situation where you can be open with someone who will understand we're only human.
DeleteI hope the coming week brings you good things.
I hope your pared down, focused efforts will prove fruitful!
DeleteThanks for the positive thoughts- I really appreciate it! I feel much more energised now than I have lately, so I think focusing on wants for a while, rather than needs, has worked well overall. I have ended up resenting the 'needs' less than I did before. aw
DeleteBriefly checking in now, and hoping I'll get back to read the thoughtful responses to the topic.
ReplyDeleteLast week:
A frankly horrible week for at least three unblogable reasons, most of which are also unable to be shared and talked over openly in non-blog life.
So: 1. Exercise x2 ONCE
2. Take notes out of one of the SoTL papers I found NO
3. Make a daily to do list that is realistic and focused HELL NO
This week will be dominated by the chronivorous (love that coinage, JaneB) admin including a day with 6 hours of driving to do meetings; marking; frantic and increasingly panicked preparation of online unit content. Somewhere in all that I'd like to sleep and not be permanently attached to chocolate as a self-soothing device.
1. Breath. Move like water.
2. Hold the space for people that need it. Include myself in the people that get that extension of kindness and patience.
3. Read one thing that isn't to do with an imminent deadline.
4. 5 minutes of freewriting x 4
Sorry for the unblogable stuff. It's hard, especially when you can't actually talk about it with people who understand. (I will talk about stuff like that with my siblings, who are very sympathetic, but haven't a clue usually about the dynamics, except they care about me.) If chocolate helps, go for it!
DeleteO do so include yourself in the people who need kindness and patience. Take most excellent care of yourself.
DeleteOh, chocolate, I know...
ReplyDeleteNeeds and wants: Right now, it's hard for me to tell the difference. Today I wanted to go to the watermark with my family, but I need to work on the thesis. Or should it be the other way around? This will be something for me to think about in more detail when I look up from the grindstone.
ReplyDeleteLast week's goals and results:
1) Do ALL THE THINGS and be present while doing them. Make a detailed schedule today (Sunday) that includes errands, shopping lists, phone calls to make, and events. On Monday, order cupcakes and make any reservations needed for Friday. DONE.
2) Finish editing Chapter Two even if this means staying up late (or skipping TV with my husband) in order to do so. PARTLY DONE. I got through it, but not all of the footnotes are clean, and I've got some rough transitions still, and a few places that say "develop this."
3) Make plans to focus entirely on work the following week. Decide whether or not to stay home or leave for a few days. Make reservations if I decide to leave. WELL, I decided to stay home. I'm not sure this is wise because it's clear that I'm becoming the event planner for the kids, and I told husband it would need to be "like I'm gone," but he keeps talking about all the house projects he needs to do, so I'm not sure how it will go.
4) Print and review "intent to submit" documents. (EEP!). DONE. I'm just trying to figure out exactly when to submit. My deadline isn't until December, but I want to submit by the end of September or mid-October. But is this doable?!?
5) Make to-do list and packing list for upcoming three-week family trip. NOT DONE.
Analysis: It's going to be very hard to give the needed attention to the thesis this week. Just this morning, I've been working on all of the arrangements for the week for the kids, but I'm worried that my husband won't step in to help protect my work time and that he'll also get mad at me for working. And we also have to get ready for the trip. Sooooo...
1) Thesis first. Finish intro draft. Tidy up chaps one and two. Let go of getting chapter three redrafted?
2) Plan clearly for a few things related to family so I can do a little bit and be present, but then don't go beyond those plans, and don't feel guilty. It's okay if kids are bored or playing video games while I work this week, right? Next week they'll be hiking and fishing and the mountains.
3) Pack for trip, but don't over prepare.
4) Open bank account for the kids.
5) Pay bills.
Yay for intent to submit! That is most excellent. I'm hopeful that you have space/time coming up soon in which you can be scholar first and Mom second, but still have a cupcake tucked away for yourself.
DeleteThanks, humming42! The next few weeks will be "family first," but then after that I should get a few "scholar first" weeks before it's back to "teacher first."
DeleteTopic:
ReplyDeleteI am still and always muddling through wants and needs. What’s most difficult for me is fulfilling the want drive with quick fixes--so I eat the chocolate or buy cheap used books on Amazon to feel like I’m doing something good for myself. Meanwhile I’m ignoring the big things that, with devotion, could be truly satisfying, like starting a real yoga practice or developing skills at one of those crafts I think I would enjoy, like making jewelry.
Last week:
1 Read 50 pages of Moon Circling book: yes
2 Read 50 page of new RPB book: read some
3 Read 100 pages of Mercury book: read some, not as relevant as expected
4 Read parts 3-4 for Mars: no
5 write to new RPB editor: no
Analysis:
I thought I would have more time for reading than I did, including a migraine on my down day of travel that carried over into an unpleasant plane flight. I can usually get a good bit of reading done while flying. I listened to half a novel as audiobook then came home and downloaded the e-book so my reading time was perhaps overly devoted to fiction. Since it’s the first novel I’ve managed to finish this year, I have no guilt on that one.
This week:
1 Read parts 3-4 for Mars
2 Type notes from Mars book
3 Begin revision on Chapter 1 of RBP
4 Read peer articles from Mercury journal
5 Map out approach to space for Mercury
6 Celebrate birthday (instead of ignoring it)
Oh how well you put it: "fulfilling the want drive with quick fixes. . .[and] ignoring the big things that, with devoting, could be truly satisfying." Me too! Those big things don't feel as instantly good as chocolate or cheap used books! Brain chemistry is against us: chocolate gives us a real lift with very little investment/pain, while yoga, probably the big thing I should be doing, has a lot more investment/pain. I wish us both luck in overcoming that initial hump this summer to get to the fulfilling part!
DeleteI hope you enjoyed your novel! And I hope you have a great birthday! Maybe you can get yourself the gift of a yoga class series or a jewelry making class?
DeleteOr just get chocolate and books. I really think that are both fantastic quick fixes that shouldn't be underrated. Dark chocolate perhaps, instead of Snickers. I love 72% chocolate. Two squares are perfect!