the grid

the grid

Friday 18 March 2016

Week 11--Self-care

A common theme of self-care struck me amongst the check-ins last week, for not the first time, or I doubt, the last.  I have often mused that women of a certain age (mine) were socialized to take care of others, and that women (and men) in “helping professions” were more strongly socialized yet, so that students take place in line after spouses and children in having their needs met.  Nevertheless, self-care is TLQ, and often shows up on our goals, whether physical or mental care.  Some in our group face physical ailments, others bereavement or the emotional toll of taking care of aging parents. How do we carve time and energy for ourselves in the face of overly busy days?  Can we do so while avoiding the guilt of seeming selfish to those to whom we grant the right to judge us?  If you have hints or strategies, please share, but even if you do not, perhaps it will help to share the burden with a supportive group.

allan wilson: (forthnightly goals):
1) resubmit whk paper
2)do a bit of the mapping stuff
3) take my daughter out once on her own
4) do a bit of relaxing and refocusing my brain. Rest, chocolate, and contacting an old friend.

Contingent Cassandra:
1. Keep eating and sleeping as well/regularly as possible
2. Support/stay in contact w/ my brother
3. Contribute to group project grant proposal (due at end of week, so TRQ; overall project, though not in my original goals, is definitely TLQ)
4. Plan/replan rest of semester and catch up on grading as much as possible
5. Try to fit in at least some exercise (this may have to wait until later in the week, but even a little would be good).

Daisy:
1) Get talk perfected with great images and photographs
2) Write talk and paper skeleton together so I have something that co-author and I can work on while we are together
3) Mark everything for all classes so I can go away with clear consience
4) Do the 7-minute work-out thingy EVERY DAY, at least FIVE TIMES. The best way to do that will be to just repeat it in one go, but if I have to do it separately it will still work. This will be a good jump-start to the new and revamped exercise goals!

Danne:
-Touch thesis daily
-Write daily

Earnest English:
1. Research: Keep up the 3x. Do what you can. Don't drive yourself nuts.
2. Health: I really am just going to have to baby myself more. No matter what sign I want to wear, the truth is that I have to be vigilant about taking care of myself this week because no one else (at work) will. Late in the week, I must go get an x-ray. I must take good care of myself and that means rest. That also means not driving myself crazy and potentially absenting myself or disengaging with the bullshit. I must put on hold or hand off anything I can.
3. Family: I think the best thing I can do for the family this week is to take care of myself and try to be as loving as I can. Try to leave work at work. I'm bad at that when the shit starts to rise.
4. Gardening: I'd really like to start peas and salad greens this week. I'm not in great physical shape for that and feel gimpy and weak, but maybe I can get these done. Absurdist Husband said he'd help. (He's surprised and worried that I ignored something that turned out to be more serious than we thought.)
5. Grading without Freaking Out: I will try to grade without freaking out. It's not easy. And I need to give myself breaks this week.

Elizabeth Anne Mitchell:
Stop crying about the lost revisions and do them again.
File the important detritus that surfaced from the nimbus of clutter surrounding my writing chair.
Continue planning--it begins to bear fruit. I have been merrily planning my sabbatical (which has to wait until 2018, but the application can go in this fall, so why not?). It does have the down side that in my ADD way, I’m far more taken with the new “shiny,” than the ones at hand.

Good Enough Woman: (unofficially stated)
As I move forward, I think I need to focus on the intro and chapters 1 and 2, and I need to accept that exercise will be spotting over the next two months. I'd wanted to get the article submission out with the hope I'd get feedback before I submit the thesis in the fall, but that window is closing. At this point, I think I should focus on the thesis intro and chapters. After I get chapters 1 and 2 in shape, I'll pick one to prepare for submission.

Heu mihi:
1) Do ALL of the R&R to-do list items except the ones that involve substantial new reading
2) Revise draft on the computer (I'm doing preliminary revisions by hand)
3) Read 2 articles related to the R&R
4) Read 80% of seminar/ch. 6 book

Humming42:
1 Data collection for paper #1
2 Finish and submit abandoned book review
3 Read through current manuscript draft
4 Read/look for sources for paper #2

JaneB:
1) another hour on Picky Paper and two hours on DrVisit Paper 2
2) prepare for meeting about Problem Child on Friday
3) at least make a rough list of possible conferences
4) look in one pile for the passport. Just one. I can do that...
5) bed before midnight, 5 fruit & veg a day, little steps…

KJHaxton:
- more work on acronym. Probably type in the longhand comments, tidy up a bit and hopefully send to helpful person.
- tidy up, sort things out, both at home and at work. It's the last week of teaching before Easter so I want to tidy up.
- outreach activity to plan and run on Tuesday. I'm a bit stuck because (a) the student group is larger than expected, (b) I have to do more sessions than expected - 5 instead of 4, and (c) I've got no student helpers so am on my own.

Susan: (officially unstated)

I think I'm unwinding after working so hard for so long. So I've just been letting it happen. Next week is spring break, and then I'll get back into a work mode.

28 comments:

  1. I'm taking a week or so off, internet free so wont check in next week and wont set goals for this week (beyond hand-crafted items). That seems like self-care to me!
    I agree entirely about being socialised to care for others first and having to work very hard to do things that go against that. I think it's linked to how we often struggle to find time for our own work, for the TLQ bits of our academic lives - other people's stuff often takes priority. Perhaps we need to take strategies for getting TLQ work done into self-care!

    - more work on acronym. Probably type in the longhand comments, tidy up a bit and hopefully send to helpful person.
    - tidy up, sort things out, both at home and at work. It's the last week of teaching before Easter so I want to tidy up.
    - outreach activity to plan and run on Tuesday. I'm a bit stuck because (a) the student group is larger than expected, (b) I have to do more sessions than expected - 5 instead of 4, and (c) I've got no student helpers so am on my own

    I didn't do more work on acronym. Things are tidier, not as tidy as I would like but better.
    The outreach went really really well and a colleague helped me out so it was significantly easier.

    This week: no work! Knit something. Get out into the fresh air as much as possible. Tick off a few more books on my Good Reads challenge (currently at 13/52 so 'two ahead of schedule').
    For the half week after, put a solid day or two into acronym to get it almost done. Finish tidying.

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    Replies
    1. KJH, that's sound like a great week of self-care! Knitting. Reading. Fresh air. Sounds like the perfect balance.

      I hope you'll share some of your favorite books with us as you read. I'm so impressed that with the amount of knitting and reading you do alongside of your other work. Enjoy!

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    2. I'll add a bravo for reading to the list of doing good things for yourself, hoping the Goodreads challenge is for pleasure reading.

      Delete
  2. Topic:
    I’m slightly better at physical self-care than mental, although things like dental appointments can slide for me for an embarrassing long time, so I guess I’m really only better at the threat of broken bones and non-functional gall bladders! The hospice nurse last June strongly encouraged me to look for a bereavement group, since my dad’s passing was the fifth (mother-in-law, brother, mother, niece and father) in less than two years. My sister has found a bereavement group helpful, but I seem unable to make myself go.

    So, what can I offer as strategies? On the physical health front, I am no good to anyone if I don’t take care of myself. The time taken for appointments benefits all, and yes, I do find that hard to believe at times, although I know it is true. I truly believe that self-care is more than staying clean and fed, but I do not always walk the walk. I do put post-it notes up on the mirror, saying things like “you are worth taking care of.”

    On the mental health front, I am finally better at saying no than in the past, having honed my over-commitment skills for decades. I still fight guilt about spending time on myself, especially with things I enjoy. I also spent decades trying to figure out what people wanted so that I could transform like a chameleon into what they wanted. It was exhausting. Finally, I don’t give a flying squirrel what most people think of me (close family and friends aside). I will say what I think, although I do regret tearing into an article in a talk at Kalamazoo, only to find the author was in the audience. (Oops, but I still think his argument was faulty). It is much less stressful to be the oddball curmudgeon.

    Last week’s goals:
    1) Stop crying about the lost revisions and do them again.
    I started over, and managed not to mourn too much. I have managed to replace all that I had done.
    File the important detritus that surfaced from the nimbus of clutter surrounding my writing chair. For the most part. I was filing things when I found that many of my files needed to be weeded, so I did that every time I touched a file. It’s slow going, but will be a better result in the end.
    2) Continue planning--it begins to bear fruit. I have been merrily planning my sabbatical (which has to wait until 2018, but the application can go in this fall, so why not?). It does have the down side that in my ADD way, I’m far more taken with the new “shiny,” than the ones at hand.
    Planning for future things like the sabbatical come easily. Planning tomorrow is much harder! I think planning is still foreign to me, and feels self-indulgent. It is very helpful when I allow myself to do it, so I’m going to keep plugging.

    Next week’s goals:
    1) Continue to work ½ hour a day on footnote revisions. If met, reward myself with ½ hour on researching the sabbatical topic.
    2) File 15 minutes twice a day. If met, reward with reading a frivolous novel for ½ hour.
    3) Plan for 15 minutes--in the car, if necessary (thanks to GEW for the suggestion).

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  3. Kudos on redoing the damn footnotes and for not giving a flying squirrel.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I, too like the flying squirrel, and may borrow it (her?) at some point.

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  4. Topic: Well, when I first read this week's topic, I thought, "Hmm. I do okay with this. I'm not too stressed out, my health is okay, and I get some "me" time (when I research, write, grade, or prep). But then I thought about how I'm barely exercising, I'm skimping a bit on sleep, and I'm WAY overdue for several types of regular health check-ups. So, I don't know. I keep telling myself: When the PhD is finished, I'll get my act together.

    Last week's goals:
    It seems that maybe I forgot to set some. I was not that productive today (Friday--my weekly PhD day), but here are some TLQ things I did this week:

    1) Helped daughter print and copy her magazine, and she has a stack of copies placed in the local bookshop. I'm proud of her, and she is proud of herself.
    2) Walked the dog today.
    3) Wrote at least 500 words on intro.
    4) Booked hotel for 4-night work retreat during my spring break (first week of April)
    5) Marked St. Patty's Day sufficiently for holiday-focused daughter.
    6) I might get to swim some laps tomorrow.

    Lots of heavy grading next week, along with a Friday meeting that will eat into my PhD time, but still:

    1) write 500 words for intro
    2) read one article or chapter
    3) read 50 pages of a primary source
    4) Pay attention to recent minor health complaints of children. Evaluate whether to not I need to take them in.

    I feel like I'm forgetting something, but not sure what.

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  5. First, apologies for the comment silence this week, I’ve been MIA for much of the week. I loved seeing how well we are all working towards multiple goals, and how many of the original goals are already checked off and accomplished. A big hats-off to everyone for that!

    I’m leaving for 10 days to attend a fabulous conference (and even better field trip!) tomorrow and this week has been a hot mess from start to finish. There was much organizational angst to get everything done before leaving, I still have to stop at the office tomorrow on the way to the airport and pick up a few things, but most things are ok. My talk is nowhere near done, but that is what a really long flight and airport day is for...

    I will be out of circulation for the next two weeks, Will check back in in the first week of April. Thanks to Elizabeth for picking up the extra posts!
    1) Get talk perfected with great images and photographs NOT DONE but IN PROGRESS
    2) Write talk and paper skeleton together so I have something that co-author and I can work on while we are together PROGRESS
    3) Mark everything for all classes so I can go away with clear consience DONE
    4) Do the 7-minute work-out thingy EVERY DAY, at least FIVE TIMES. The best way to do that will be to just repeat it in one go, but if I have to do it separately it will still work. This will be a good jump-start to the new and revamped exercise goals! NOT EVERY DAY, but the days I got over the "don't wanna do it" whining in my head it was actually quite fun. Will do this again in April.

    GOALS: Enjoy conference, trip, and give a great talk.
    Till later!

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    Replies
    1. Oh, and just for happy news, the hot mess of paper revisions I've been working myself silly on for ages, accepted without any more revisions, and in print by May :)

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    2. Congratulations, Daisy! Have a great conference and great trip!

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    3. Hurrah! And enjoy the conference and trip!

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    4. Those sound liek great goals!

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  6. Topic: Finding Time for Self-Care

    I find it hard to engage in self-care. When I come home from work, my seven-year old doesn't care that I'm tired. My husband is great, but often asks me what we're going to do for dinner when I haven't even thought about it and don't care. He does so much and has so much energy that I feel like I should continue to push myself even after I'm exhausted. What this means is that sometimes I just crash at 8pm, like I did last week or get sick, as I did today. And this isn't even including that I didn't go to the doctor for 6 weeks when I knew something was wrong (though there is more going on there -- I don't like my doctor and have on my list to get a new one and I just hate going to the doctor anyway). I know that the greatest battle is within me -- I just want to be able to do more that I seem to be able to. I woke up with a headache and ended up going back to sleep, so I don't have a lot of hope or positive energy to put into this right now. Last night it was my husband who was sure he was sick; he's been running all around the house getting things done as I slept. Neither of us has much time for self-care and a lot of this is because we chose to homeschool, which in our area doesn't feel like much of a choice considering the options and our son.

    Last Week
    1. Research: Keep up the 3x. Do what you can. Don't drive yourself nuts. 3X DONE: on the weekend, but done.
    2. Health: I really am just going to have to baby myself more. No matter what sign I want to wear, the truth is that I have to be vigilant about taking care of myself this week because no one else (at work) will. Late in the week, I must go get an x-ray. I must take good care of myself and that means rest. That also means not driving myself crazy and potentially absenting myself or disengaging with the bullshit. I must put on hold or hand off anything I can. DID NOT GET X-RAY. GOT SICK SUNDAY.
    3. Family: I think the best thing I can do for the family this week is to take care of myself and try to be as loving as I can. Try to leave work at work. I'm bad at that when the shit starts to rise. BETTER
    4. Gardening: I'd really like to start peas and salad greens this week. I'm not in great physical shape for that and feel gimpy and weak, but maybe I can get these done. Absurdist Husband said he'd help. (He's surprised and worried that I ignored something that turned out to be more serious than we thought.) PLANTED SALAD GREENS AND PEAS THOUGH WE HAD A HARD FREEZE AND THE GREENS ARE PROBABLY DEAD.
    5. Grading without Freaking Out: I will try to grade without freaking out. It's not easy. And I need to give myself breaks this week. GOT SOME GRADING DONE BUT THERE'S OODLES LEFT.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Analysis
      Early in the week I learned of a death in the family -- totally unexpected and tragic -- in short, the stupid death of a young person. Learning about it with limited information and then getting more information over the course of the week and processing that took up most of my energy so I was a little spacey teaching, and I couldn't invest a ton of time in the stupid crap of my department. In that way, such a distraction proved to be very helpful (not that I want people to die so I can get perspective -- sick!!!). I wish I were more intentional in my life in general so when I wake up I would say something like "here's what's important, and here's what's worth my time and energy." Unfortunately, in the morning I'm more grumpy that I have to wake up at all and reaching for the coffee. I was thinking of having a limit to how long I can think about work on the way home; maybe I should think of some kind of perspective-affirming approach to the drive to work. I just feel like I'm constantly battling how awful I feel and everything else comes second. (But that may be the cold talking -- I actually get a lot done most of the time, and when I stop and feel awful I know I just get into this bad headspace. I'm working on that -- I got a new book all about managing your headspace.)

      Upcoming Week
      This week is the end of the quarter. I have so much to grade and get back, it's insane. And here we are, sick house. How to get anything done? I truly don't know, but by Tuesday I better have at least one project back.

      Goals
      1. Research: 3x
      2. Health: take care. Good food. Good sleep. Moderate emotions.
      3. Family: be kind.
      4. Gardening: nope
      5. Grading: somehow get it done??? magic? leprechauns?

      Move like water everyone. Sometimes there's no other way.

      Delete
    2. Oh, God, Earnest, I'm sorry. That's dreadful news with which to start the week. And I'm sorry to hear that you're sick! It's probably good that your goals are 3/4 about what will benefit you (research, health, family); the grading will happen by the time that it needs to. It always does, doesn't it?

      Take care--

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    3. Thanks so much, heu mihi. The grading does manage to get done, though I have to admit sometimes I'm doing it after the quarter is done. It does not always get done when it needs to in my world, I'm afraid. But I'm doing my best. Have a great week!

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    4. So sorry to hear about your young relative. That is, indeed, the kind of death that is especially hard to take (not that any kind is easy, but still -- too young, and probably seems like it should have been preventable; that's very hard).

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    5. Late condolences - that must be very hard to deal with. Makes grading seem extra pointless...

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  7. Self-care.... I've been very good about going to yoga twice almost every week since September, and that's been great. I do want to add some more exercise-y exercise to my schedule (it's a vigorous class, but still); however, I'm waiting until summer to really put that on my radar. Six more weeks! I also want to start meditating again. I had a good almost-daily practice for a year, but then I got pregnant and very tired, and then I had a baby and was very tired, and now he's turning 4 in June and I'm still...very tired.

    This year, what with the transition to a new job and new area and wholly new rhythms of life, has just felt so hectic. I want a calmer and more livable feel to my days. But I also need to not worry about it too much yet, I think--this year was always going to be crazy, and it's almost over. Next year should feel much more settled for all of us, and summer--! I have FOUR MONTHS without teaching! How did that happen?

    Anyway.

    Last week's goals:
    1) Do ALL of the R&R to-do list items except the ones that involve substantial new reading -- DONE
    2) Revise draft on the computer (I'm doing preliminary revisions by hand) -- DONE
    3) Read 2 articles related to the R&R -- READ ONE
    4) Read 80% of seminar/ch. 6 book -- FINISHED IT!

    This week (I freely admit that this is WAY too much):
    -Read J's ST
    -Notes on relevant passages/ideas for Kzoo paper
    -N article (German): get a handle on it (what’s relevant?)
    -N article (English)
    -Read first half of C (for undergrad class)
    -Synthesize talk with Chapter 3
    -Look at notes on Augustinian reading with caritas

    ReplyDelete
  8. Self-care.... I've been very good about going to yoga twice almost every week since September, and that's been great. I do want to add some more exercise-y exercise to my schedule (it's a vigorous class, but still); however, I'm waiting until summer to really put that on my radar. Six more weeks! I also want to start meditating again. I had a good almost-daily practice for a year, but then I got pregnant and very tired, and then I had a baby and was very tired, and now he's turning 4 in June and I'm still...very tired.

    This year, what with the transition to a new job and new area and wholly new rhythms of life, has just felt so hectic. I want a calmer and more livable feel to my days. But I also need to not worry about it too much yet, I think--this year was always going to be crazy, and it's almost over. Next year should feel much more settled for all of us, and summer--! I have FOUR MONTHS without teaching! How did that happen?

    Anyway.

    Last week's goals:
    1) Do ALL of the R&R to-do list items except the ones that involve substantial new reading -- DONE
    2) Revise draft on the computer (I'm doing preliminary revisions by hand) -- DONE
    3) Read 2 articles related to the R&R -- READ ONE
    4) Read 80% of seminar/ch. 6 book -- FINISHED IT!

    This week (I freely admit that this is WAY too much):
    -Read J's ST
    -Notes on relevant passages/ideas for Kzoo paper
    -N article (German): get a handle on it (what’s relevant?)
    -N article (English)
    -Read first half of C (for undergrad class)
    -Synthesize talk with Chapter 3
    -Look at notes on Augustinian reading with caritas

    ReplyDelete
  9. Topic: I'm crap at looking after myself, and I don't have the usual "excuses" of lots of other people to look after, although that's probably part of the reason, as there are so many subtle things in the world which point out the pointlessness and irrelevance of single, childless middle-aged women not in caring professions or actively caring for family members. Especially fat depressed non-dating ones! Who don't win grants, because really, we have no value to anyone.

    OK, that's a whiny and annoying thread of it. There are others. Mostly, I live in my head, and I tend to be busy there, whether things are good and the ideas are flowing and everything's busy and fun or things are less good and I'm talking down the anxiety-squirrels or concentrating on not sliding into the abyss of depression. it's easy to just ask your body to wait for later, give it the basics and the quick-shut-up things. I'm not great at prioritising the long-term-maybe stuff over the right-here-now stuff when it comes to bodily feelings - I want the feelings to basically GO AWAY, especially pain or emptiness or tiredness, there's enough of that in my head without needing to lug it around with me as well. And almost any kind of physical activity is wreathed around with humiliation, with being too slow, not picked, bullied, incompetent, clumsy, with failing and hurting and being miserable and stared at and disliked. It goes earlier than school - I have hip dysplasia, and I am very, very clumsy, my hand-eye coordination has always been lousy, and my Dad is a natural athlete and skilled practical engineer, so I must have frustrated him so much! And I am also not very thoughtful about physical stuff so, y'know, I rarely remember to put down what I'm holding in order to do something else, or to think through the sequence and get all the things I need together, or... but school made it Much Much Worse. I want to sit in a tower all day and hide from people, a lot of the time, even when I'm out with perfectly nice people having a nice time, talking research in a Turkish restaurant as I was one evening last week, every now and then, I want to get back to my tower where I can't screw up. I know this is a problem but I don't know how to fix it, and either people care too MUCH (like my parents, who would worry and lecture and nag and with the very best of intentions tell me how much worse off other people are) or don't care at all (I can still work so the NHS has no care apart from keeping me in work, it feels like, and lecturing me on my weight - I already know how crap I am, I don't need telling, the government year on year strips away support for those who break, and the contempt they heap on the obese and mentally ill is gross and threatening), and... sorry, bad day, I guess.

    So. Not good at self care.

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    Replies
    1. I really shouldn't've posted last night (I was having a MegaGrump, for various reasons), but I didn't want to let the week go without checking in.

      I used to really like walking. Mind you, I _used_ to like my research, uncomplicatedly, and all sorts of things. I wonder when it went, and what would help it come back, short of quitting my job and therefore having the bandwidth to focus on stuff like that?

      Delete

  10. last week's goals:
    1) another hour on Picky Paper and two hours on DrVisit Paper 2 they got one hour each. Fine.
    2) prepare for meeting about Problem Child on Friday yes, and it went well
    3) at least make a rough list of possible conferences no. SIGH
    4) look in one pile for the passport. Just one. I can do that... three piles. No passport
    5) bed before midnight, 5 fruit & veg a day, little steps… mixed and limited

    But actually, having an academic visitor for much of the week kept me busier than expected, but in a good way - I really enjoyed talking research and feeling appreciated! I also got a grant rejection, some bad (though expected) University-Admin-Are-Making-Life-Hard news, and today discovered that a) I was misadvised and need to jump through multiple bureaucratic and expensive hoops in the next few weeks to get a license so that LikesMaths can ship their fieldwork samples back to the UK and b)that the faculty has a total spending freeze until August (but will still be going ahead with the major reorganisation and appointing staff to a special office to run it, because it's essential). These things are not compatible. However, this week and next are student free, and I plan to work from home most days, and to try and make some chore progress.

    goals for this week:
    1) another hour on Picky Paper and two hours on DrVisit Paper 2
    2) wrap and send small presents for Easter to immediate family
    3) make a conference/travel list for the rest of the year and make cattery bookings
    4) look in three more piles for the passport, and spend half an hour a day creating order somewhere within the house.
    5) bed before midnight, 5 fruit & veg a day, little steps…

    ReplyDelete
  11. I too am of a generation with a lingering sense that women have primary responsibilities as caregivers, even though I do a lot of resistance to that. Self conflict about self care. We’ve had mention here before of scheduling writing and research time by actually putting it on your calendar like an appointment. I try to do the same with self-care, or at least to put it on my list of things to do. Something specific, that can be done in a manageable time frame. But I definitely need to remind myself to be attentive to self care. And it’s really not something I have been terribly mindful of lately.

    Last week
    1 Data collection for paper #1: no
    2 Finish and submit abandoned book review: no
    3 Read through current manuscript draft: no
    4 Read/look for sources for paper #2: yes

    Not as bad as it appears! I did enjoy some rest on spring break, read some for the book manuscript, signed up with Asana and Evernote and created new task list for the book. It was delightful to be in that space. The things that were abandoned are still underway for the coming week.

    Week ahead
    1 Data collection for paper #1
    2 Finish and submit abandoned book review
    3 Read through current manuscript draft
    4 Begin drafting paper #2

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  12. Hmm. . .self-care. Like JaneB, I feel that I have fewer excuses than many here, since I don't have a family or, really, a very complicated schedule (and unlike JaneB, I don't even have chronic physical impediments to movement, and actually rather enjoy physical movement of several admittedly gentle kinds). Still, I spent part of the afternoon not getting off the couch and taking a walk not only because of the usual inertia (and because it was cold out and the heat in the apartment wasn't working very well either) but also because I could get almost caught up on at least some of the grading if I just kept going. So there's some combination of inertia and putting other responsibilities first operating there. And the really ironic and frustrating part is that I actually *love* walking (at least at the pace I choose, which isn't very challenging, but I can go a pretty long distance, so that's something), and find it much easier to start once I get into the habit, but it seems to be getting harder and harder to get into the habit (and of course a "flexible" academic schedule also means a schedule that changes every 4 months or so, disrupting routines. Add in the changes of light and temperature that affect a walking routine, and things get a bit more complicated -- but still, I know, from experience, that I can find routines that work at various times of year, and get into them; I just seem to be having a lot of difficulty doing so.) Ditto for sleep and eating well, both of which I definitely enjoy, but still they don't always happen, usually because they get squeezed out by other, often quite worthwhile, things (or just by my feeling too tired to get up off the couch and do them, even though I know I'd have more energy, in the long term, if I did). I don't really have an answer, except that getting into routines tends to work for me -- at least until those routines get interrupted by changes of semesters and seasons, which they always do.

    Last week's goals:

    1. Keep eating and sleeping as well/regularly as possible
    2. Support/stay in contact w/ my brother
    3. Contribute to group project grant proposal (due at end of week, so TRQ; overall project, though not in my original goals, is definitely TLQ)
    4. Plan/replan rest of semester and catch up on grading as much as possible
    5. Try to fit in at least some exercise (this may have to wait until later in the week, but even a little would be good).

    Accomplished: spent a good deal of time on the proposal, which I and my co-authors am happy with, and which felt really good to finish (I realize I've been missing the feeling of accomplishing something -- one of the things that teaching doesn't really provide, at least for me; it's probably time to get back to writing). Am also getting closer to caught up on grading (admittedly a good deal of that happened today). And I did check in with my brother (late yesterday/today). The sleep schedule has been more variable than I'd like (still struggling with the transition to Daylight Savings Time) and I'm up too late right now (but that resulted partly from spending some time emailing with my brother about memorial service arrangements -- so not time badly spent). Oh, and I did take a walk last Friday (but that's about it for exercise).

    So, goals for the coming week:
    1. Increase exercise (walks and weight-lifting and perhaps some gardening, but especially walks)
    2. Try to get sleep schedule better coordinated w/ DST (taking into account some latish nights due to Holy Week services) and keep up decent eating
    3. At least get a start on taxes

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  13. Last week:
    -Touch thesis daily
    Three times.
    -Write daily
    Once...
    ...not good. Not doing so good.

    What is self-care? Sometimes it means settling down to work. At other times it means getting away from work. Let's dedicate this week to self-care and make a single goal:
    Write a page of fiction every day and do it as a pleasurable, centring task.
    No pressure on the thesis front. Just do whatever I want to do.

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  14. Oh, I completely forgot to set goals for last week!

    But I'll start with the topic: I'm OK on self-care, not great, not terrible. When troubled, I'm inclined to stay up much too late fussing on fb (so last night, at 12:30 or so a friend posted about the Brussels bombings and that led to another half hour of getting inconclusive news on various websites and twitter.): I recognize that this is not the best method of mental health care, but. . . I'm OK about exercise -- it really helps that my 3 morning a week exercise has two people I know, and they keep me accountable. I'm pretty good about eating, and I don't usually drink that much. But I'd like to get back into walking, and/or yoga. It would balance my morning workouts. I'd also like to take more days off: I did that Saturday, pretty much, and it was great.

    Anyway, since I didn't post goals for last week, I'll just say I survived. My teaching (new survey course) is busting my butt this term, and there were a couple of nights when I was "What did I think I'd talk about in that lecture?". There was major work on a committee I'm on; and then a long drive for a short interview to speed through immigration.

    This week is spring break and I'm trying to catch up and clear off my desk. Making slow progress there, but I won't do everything I intend, and that's OK.

    Goals for this week:
    1. Remarks for conference next week (it's a roundtable, so 10 minutes of think piece, not a paper)
    2. Organize last bit of summer vacation
    3. Begin work on paper revisions that keep getting pushed to the bottom of the pile
    4. Keep up with exercise. Walk once
    5. Finish weeding the garden! For 10 seconds, I want NO WEEDS!

    I leave for an international conference (many gazillion hours of traveling for 4 days in lovely exotic location) very early next Monday, so I need to get ready, and I need to be ready to teach when I get back. That's TRQ, but it's in the background. After 24 hours of traveling, I don't want to have to write a lecture for Monday morning!

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