Hope everyone had a good week. I'm very conscious that tomorrow is inauguration day in the USA and, though we tend to keep political declarations out of this space, my sense is that none of us are happy about the next incumbent of the White House. We have also talked a lot on here about how for many of us, January, February and March are a slog to get through, for various reasons.
So, for today, do you have words you come back to in difficult times that inspire or comfort? A poem, a prayer, a song, a mantra? I had a lot of poems up in my temporary corner-of-the-spare-room-office in lockdown, but the text I would choose is the one above: from one of Barbara Kingsolver's essays. (If I could only choose one favourite author, she would be the one.) Her advice to focus on a 'single glorious thing' is advice I have come back to many times. Feel free to share a 'single glorious thing' of your own if words aren't what does it for you.
Last week's goals:
Heu mihi
1. Read AA's book
2. Finish syllabus; set up webpage
3. Keep plugging away at article: Review some scholarship; maybe hit 4k of
ideally non-garbage words
4. Exercise x6, sit x??
5. Begin reviewing research proposals (after Wednesday)
Susan
1. Read Famous Author aloud, to catch repetition and bad
phrasing.
2. Meet with editor about illustrations
3. Enjoy seeing colleagues when the library opens on Wednesday
4. Get back to exercise - walk, yoga, strength
5. Do expenses, tax stuff
6. Make sure there is something nice next weekend
Dame Eleanor
-keep working on revisions to a chapter
- do some scholarly reading
- attend one in-person meeting
- process at least 4 grad applications
- finish syllabus
- gym x5, swim x1, yoga x5
JaneB
1) SELF-CARE (recovery and self-kindness)
* habits: something creative, D&D, read a novel plus three chapters of
crusades book, intentional movement 15 minutes x 3 days, a social thing (a long
thank you/catching up letter to an old friend)
* Specific things - make a PLAN for reading the autistic self-care book
2) HOUSE-LIFE CARE
* 75% or more of the weekly minimal chores, tidy up the upstairs landing
3) TEACHING AND ADMIN
* marking - second year essay (all that were on time), if possible start third
year essay
* go through coming semester and make teaching preparation plan
* stay in my lane!
* finish chapter for senior grad student
4) RESEARCH
* edits for edited volume chapter
Daisy
Exercise 4 times
Do all winter course advising
Finish three reviews
Finish delayed analytical preparation
Lingering volunteer tasks for community group
Conference planning, meetings, reports
Contingent Cassandra
--Lead study leave related group discussion for which I’ve
been preparing
--Hold planning meeting with leader for next month’s discussion
--Follow up as necessary on emails I wrote last week & anything else that
arises from discussion I’m leading; answer one that’s been sitting in my inbox
for way too long
--Write email sharing plan for study leave project with leaders of organization
on which it focuses
--Do at least rough planning re: what I can realistically get done between now
and the end of the semester, and what I will do when.
--Start log for study leave project & related activities
--Check on fellowships/institutes to which I might apply; make plans to apply
if appropriate
--Visit local site with tangential link to Study Leave project
--Lift weights 3x; walk as weather allows, including one new route if possible;
experiment at least once with hall-walking/stair climbing in apt building
--Begin work on establishing a bedtime routine, including screens off two hours
before lights out and a wind-down activity such as reading, listening to
something, and/or handwork (probably mending for the moment) (this may be tough
because of evening (online) meetings, but should become more possible later in
the week, so at least make a start).
--Pack up & mail some packages (mixture of returns & gifts for family
members I didn’t see over Christmas)
Julie
1. Finish marking.
2. Teaching prep
3. Research: at least one day on article.
4. Evaluate proposals for summer workshop (committee meeting Tuesday)
5. Exercise: run x 3, pilates x 1, walk other days.
6. Start some travel planning.
The words I return to are not glorious but stoic: concentrate on the things you have power to change, not those you don't (IOW, eyes on own page). It's a good philosophy, and it helps, though there are times when I need to remind myself of this about every five minutes.
ReplyDeleteLike now, for instance. LRU has a Thing that I applied for, pre-pandemic, and came close to getting though it went to someone else at that time. Since then, more money has been discovered for the Thing, and it has been reconfigured in ways that have been signaled to my department, and specifically to me, as A Big! Improvement! for which I should apply when the new version is released. Well, it has been released, and the Thing has changed from something I found interesting into something where my response is along the lines of "How much do I have to pay not to do this?" I see why it has happened this way, and I have colleagues who are well-suited to it and would deserve it, but I am disappointed that I can't apply for the original Thing that I did like the idea of.
Tant pis.
How I did:
- keep working on revisions to a chapter: YES (one session)
- do some scholarly reading: YES (minimal)
- attend one in-person meeting: YES
- process at least 4 grad applications: NO (partly b/c the pile is now discouragingly huge!)
- finish syllabus: NO (but progress has been made, partly by a TA)
- gym x5, swim x1, yoga x5: YES, NO (wrist not up to swimming yet), YES (might be only x4, but close enough)
New goals:
- keep working on revisions to a chapter
- do some scholarly reading
- process at least 4 grad applications
- finish syllabus
- gym x4, swim x1, yoga x5
- buy more marmelade*
*This is in the "gifts to self" category. I finally found a source for the bitter orange marmelade I love, after some years of it just not being available around here, and I feel a bit like Pooh Bear with a big pot of honey.
Boo for the changes to the Thing! Even if they make sense, it can still feel really unfair and annoying!
DeleteI'm currently telling myself to stay in my own lane a lot - boring, pedestrian and necessary.
But cheers for marmelade (even if the thought of it makes MY mouth pucker, I am delighted that you have access to something delicious)! (also for eliciting a smile because the word Marmelade always triggers the terrible awful Dad--joke "What did the duckling say when it found a citrus fruit in its nest? Look at the orange mama laid!")
Laughing at JaneB's joke. I had some orange, lemon and lime marmalade recently which was lovely. Jams and marmalades are definitely good gifts for self.
DeleteI am not a marmalade fan, but I'm happy for you!
DeleteOne of the things about having citrus trees in the garden is that I got into making marmalade to use up fruit. My mother loved it; now I'm finishing off what I made two years ago. Mine is not too sweet, lemon, grapefruit, or three fruit, take your pick. Next year, I'll make some for you, Dame Eleanor!
DeleteMy grandmother used to make orange marmalade (with thick pieces of peel), so the peanut butter and jelly sandwich with which I grew up was actually a pb & marmalade sandwich. I don't really seek out that combination these days, but still enjoy good marmalade on toast or a croissant.
DeleteI've also only recently discovered kumquats, which have a very similar (at least to me) flavor profile without the added sugar, which makes me feel better about eating them in quantity when I can get them.
Sorry to hear about the restructuring of the formerly-attractive thing. Restructuring things to meet the current set of goals seems to be a hobby of some administrators, and it gets old fast.
That Barbara Kingsolver passage reminds me of the "Let the mind take its photograph/Of the bright scene, something to wear/Against the heart in the long cold" (R.S. Thomas). Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteMy current "heart soother" is the Mary Oliver poem that begins "You do not have to be good..." LINKED HERE
And my constant companion is the second part of the poem Stepping Westward by Denise Levertov LINKED HERE - "...if I bear burdensIf I bear burdens/ they begin to be remembered/as gifts, goods, a basket/of bread that hurts/my shoulders but closes me/
in fragrance. I can/eat as I go."
I'm much less confident in my faith than I used to be, and even when I was most engaged with a faith community and practices I always was a "Lord I believe help thou my unbelief" sort of Christian, in the non-Conformist Protestant tradition which is very much a "what you believe is between you and your God" and "by your fruits shall you be known" kind of tradition), but the smooth, weighty pebbles of traditional words and the comfort of knowing that for thousands of years people have had the same experiences keep me coming back to some foundational quotations:
"O Lord! thou knowest how busy I must be this day: if I forget thee, do not thou forget me"
"But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles"
"De profundis clamavi ad te Domine; Domine exaudi vocem mean" {Out of the depths I cry unto thee oh Lord; oh Lord hear my voice - that one usually comes out in Latin because it was the psalm the founder of my school asked that the scholars chant at masses for his soul (in the 1500s - my school was the tenuous descendent of the will of a successful ruffian, who left money for the parish priest to teach poor boys their letters on condition they pray for his soul every week), and every year we had to rehearse it many times for the Founder's Day Service.
Some of the Taize meditative songs are useful too - I have largely lost my out-loud singing voice after decades of repeated laryngitis, but the physiological soothing of singing still seems to happen somewhat if I sing in my head, and focusing on tune as well as words helps calm me down when I'm stressed.
"Wait on the Lord, his day is nigh, wait on the Lord, be strong take heart"
"In our darkness there is no darkness; with thee, O Lord, the deepest night is clear as the day"
Hello. I was on campus for two days last week and whilst there were some good bits to that, overall it has done a number on my mood and motivation, which is not a positive as I have a LOT of marking and preparation for teaching to do and not enough time to do it in (especially as I am trying to be really careful not to push myself back down the burnout recovery ladder as I'm only a step or two up from calling out sick or just quitting with nothing to go to anyway). I only HAVE to be on campus one day in the coming week and although I ought to go on a second day, I think I will be a little rebellious and not do it. When I'm low in mood or low on spoons, commuting and being around people in person can be more draining than helpful, whilst virtual or telephonic interactions can help - I've got some good online work calls scheduled this week (catch up with teaching friend which is basically mutual mentoring; a call with the post-doc who was here before Christmas to discuss the paper she's writing) which should help balance out the horrible day on campus (an "away day" with all the members of the supposed new School which we will become this summer, in which we are supposed to discuss in table groups things such as "what can management do to improve our ranking in the university stress survey?" and "how can we double our research income and what will you personally commit to doing this year to meet that goal?")!
DeleteLAST WEEK'S GOALS:
1) SELF-CARE (recovery and self-kindness)
* habits: something creative, D&D, read a novel plus three chapters of crusades book, intentional movement 15 minutes x 3 days, a social thing (a long thank you/catching up letter to an old friend) knitted, played D&D, did not read the novel because it's annoying me, read three chapters of crusades book, intentional movement four days, no additional social thing
* Specific things - make a PLAN for reading the autistic self-care book hah hah no. February - I have to have all the marking done by 29th Jan so I will pick this up then. Maybe.
2) HOUSE-LIFE CARE
* 75% or more of the weekly minimal chores, tidy up the upstairs landing more than half, no but it's not worse (I added some things then put them away properly a few days later)
3) TEACHING AND ADMIN
* marking - second year essay (all that were on time), if possible start third year essay all on time second year essays marked, no start on third years made
* go through coming semester and make teaching preparation plan no, that's now urgent
* stay in my lane! mostly. Well. Sort of.
* finish chapter for senior grad student yes
4) RESEARCH
* edits for edited volume chapter yes. This took a lot longer than expected as the editor was VERY thorough and was trying to "lay--i-fy" the text, so my co-author and I had to have several calls to talk about whether the edits had or had not changed our meaning and if so how we could fix it, plus grumble about some of the press style guide points that we didn't like at ALL (at least they allowed the Oxford Comma!)
COMING WEEK GOALS:
Delete1) SELF-CARE (recovery and self-kindness)
* habits: something creative, D&D, read a novel plus three chapters of crusades book, intentional movement 15 minutes x 3 days, a social thing (a long thank you/catching up letter to an old friend)
* Specific things - make sure I eat at least 5 portions of at least three types of fruit/veg a day and don't dive into the bread-and-butter-and-biscuits beige comfort food pit too deeply
2) HOUSE-LIFE CARE
* 75% or more of the weekly minimal chores, tidy up the upstairs landing
3) TEACHING AND ADMIN
* marking - all on time third year essays, all extension-having second year essays, first year labs, first year essay one.
* go through coming semester and make teaching preparation plan
* stay in my lane!
* prepare all of next week's teaching and the ViLE for shared module
* stretch goal: go through full draft for MRes student and comment lightly.
4) RESEARCH
* add accepted chapter to university tracking system
* postpone everything else to future weeks
I knew and like the Mary Oliver poem but didn't know the Denise Levertov - thank you for that.
DeleteI'm not a believer, but many religious texts are still soothing. I think 'smooth, weighty pebbles' says it exactly. I like Julian of Norwich: 'All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well.'
I also have a Protestant background, including a lot of choir experience, though I am not a believer, and I likewise find a lot of Bible texts soothing or good reminders that, as you say, plenty of other people have struggled with the same problems. Especially when I've sung a text, it sticks with me.
DeleteThat said, we used to live near a church that had a mosaic built into the facade reading "Why do you say you love Me and not do as I say? If you love Me, keep My commandments," and I used to read that to Sir John in the Cat Voice.
I love all of your mottoes above...really lovely!
DeleteDEH - Ha ha ha that's perfect in a cat voice!
DeleteI IZ ur comforter.
DeleteIt's like 1 Cor 15:51 for the church nursery door (we shall not all sleep, but we shall be changed).
Another fan of Taize here. I enjoy singing those in church, and also have a CD at home (though I'm a longtime choir members, I'm not a big listening-to-music person, so haven't really figured out streaming services, but do have a few CDs and occasionally seek things out on youtube; Taize songs fall in that category).
DeleteHow I did:
ReplyDelete1. Finish marking. - YES
2. Teaching prep - YES
3. Research: at least one day on article. - YES
4. Evaluate proposals for summer workshop (committee meeting Tuesday) - YES
5. Exercise: run x 3, pilates x 1, walk other days. - Run x 2, pIlates x 1, walked one day maybe?
6. Start some travel planning. - ISH (a few WhatsApp exchanges about a weekend away for FIL's 80th birthday, but that's not the trip I wanted to plan!).
This week:
1. Coursework moderation.
2. Teaching prep: keep minimal
3. Finish full draft of article (due end of January, and next week is busy).
4. Plan January birthdays: mother, son, nephew, brother (in date order).
5. Plan Easter travel.
Lots of YES, and I think the exercise counts!
DeleteExcellent work!
DeleteGood luck with the article draft! That first draft is such a huge milestone...
DeleteSounds like steady progress on all fronts; I'd call that a win.
DeleteLove the image of the one glorious thing… Those little moments are important. I find music very motivating on the slow days – putting on something upbeat to charge through mundane tasks is fun and effective, most of the time anyway. I also try very hard to do something good externally when I get discouraged with the state of the world – volunteer for something, donate to something (ideally a cause that would deeply annoy the entity I’m mad at), or just do something nice for someone.
ReplyDeleteBarbara Kingsolver is definitely one of my desert island authors too – I reread Prodigal Summer every few years, and it always reads different! It is a special book that grows with the reader depending on where they are in life I think…
Last week’s goals
Exercise 4 times THREE DONE
Do all winter course advising DONE
Finish three reviews DONE
Finish delayed analytical preparation DONE
Lingering volunteer tasks for community group DONE
Conference planning, meetings, reports DONE
It was a clear-the-desks sort of week with a ton of new term admin and logistics. I’m happy that my exercise plan has mostly survived a whole two weeks of classes. That is encouraging, and as long as I accept that three days are out of the question because of dark-o’clock kid drop-offs and pick-ups, and don’t chicken out on the days where schedule allows it will keep working.
This week’s goals
Dust of student thesis tasks and finish at least two major bits
Exercise 4 times
Visiting speaker stuff
Meeting with co-author about paper plans
One section of new/old paper
Look at all that DONE! Go you! As to exercise, I think you said to me at the end of last session (or start of this one?) that you just have to roll with the schedule's punches and do what you can.
DeleteHooray for the exercise! Three in a week is fantastic for term-time.
DeleteKingsolver is wonderful. I've been catching up with her work recently (read Flight Behavior most recently, after enjoying Demon Copperhead). Unsheltered is in my to-read pile; I'll have to add Prodigal Summer (which I either haven't read or read so long ago that I've forgotten it).
DeleteHm hm, good prompt.... Carolyn Hax (advice columnist) recommends going really big or going really small when feeling overwhelmed with or depressed by the state of the world--like cosmos big, or your-immediate-surroundings small. For just your average doldrums, I try to do something that I enjoy, although it usually takes me a while to remember to do that--and even to remember what I enjoy! Like reading a completely fun book, or knitting, or watching a fun TV show in the middle of the day while eating a piece of chocolate. Just to bring in a reminder that I can feel pleasure and happiness...which isn't too different from what Kingsolver recommends, really, although she says it so much more nicely!
ReplyDeleteLast week:
1. Read AA's book - YES
2. Finish syllabus; set up webpage - PRETTY MUCH (will need some minor edits and revisions, but it's basically there)
3. Keep plugging away at article: Review some scholarship; maybe hit 4k of ideally non-garbage words - YES; I'm at more than 5k, which is great because my limit is 6k! However, I don't think that I'd say they're "non-garbage," and quite a few are basically reading notes that I just dropped into the document.
4. Exercise x6, sit x?? - Exercise x 7, sit x 2.
5. Begin reviewing research proposals (after Wednesday) - NO. I started this morning, actually (Monday), and I just have no idea what the criteria are. In fact, I asked what they are, and was told that there aren't any. So that's helpful. How am I supposed to decide which of the following, for example, is worthier? : A database of early modern women book owners; a new recording of tenor saxophone music; props for a play; or archival research on eighteenth-century Spanish political exiles? Can't they all have the funding that they requested--especially since we're really talking peanuts here?
Annnyway, this week--is the last week before classes start next Thursday, and we're visiting my folks for a couple of days, so:
1. Preliminary review of research grant applications, even though I now think the process is bizarre
2. Start whipping article into shape
3. Read 1/2 of book that I need to read for article
4. Edit and finalize syllabus
5. Journal catch-up
6. 35 pages of Italian novel
I can't believe there are no criteria for the proposal review! For similar things, ours are sort of confusing (revisiting them this spring on one committee), but at least there's something. Well done with all the other stuff! I'm impressed with your Italian progress.
DeleteWay to go on the article! Steady progress sounds great...
DeleteRemembering/figuring out what I enjoy, or at least find restorative, is one of my goals for the study leave. Strange how hard it can be to remember that sometimes (somewhat parallel to the difficulty in figuring out what a satisfying meal would be when one is famished and exhausted, even if one knows there are options, and the means of procuring them, if only one could remember what they are).
DeleteWhat an interesting prompt! I think when overwhelmed, I try to "eat the elephant" -- as I say to my students, one bite at a time. But right now I'm holding on to the words of "Lift Every Voice and Sing", which we sang in church yesterday for Martin Luther King Sunday. It's always moving, but in a community that had lost the church building to the fires, with about 40 families having lost homes, "Sing a Song full of the hope that the present has brought us" felt different. And the whole song reminds me that we have had dark times before. (Also, I like it better than the national anthem, so there's that.) Can't figure out how to link it, but https://hymnary.org/text/lift_every_voice_and_sing has the words.
ReplyDeleteAnd today I'm stress baking Mary Berry's lemon drizzle cake. And trying not to watch news.
How I did:
1. Read Famous Author aloud, to catch repetition and bad phrasing. YES
2. Meet with editor about illustrations YES
3. Enjoy seeing colleagues when the library opens on Wednesday YES
4. Get back to exercise - walk, yoga, strength YES
5. Do expenses, tax stuff 1 set of expenses, UK Taxes done
6. Make sure there is something nice next weekend YES, hung out at my brother's last night, in the hot tub, then played miniature golf this morning.
It was good week. Not exciting, but I got stuff done, and that's kind of the current mode. Getting the manuscript in by February 1 feels doable, and I'm pretty pleased with it.
This week:
1. Fix references, spellings and formatting
2. Set up spreadsheet for illustrations
3. Start working on maps
4. Keep up with exercise: 3 days strength, 3 days walking or yoga
5. Keep doing morning prayer
6. Sleep, eating
7. Finish cleaning balcony
8. Make sure I do something nice at the weekend.
Sounds like a great week (except for the ongoing fire worries, cleanup, etc, which I'm sure is still a source of stress).
DeleteThat is a wonderful hymn, holding on to things like that in collective settings can be so restorative.
DeleteGood luck with the busy week!
I love "Lift Every Voice and Sing," which I first encountered while singing in the choir at my grad school (it wasn't part of my church's repertoire growing up, though it is now; it always feels a bit odd to me to sing it as part of an overwhelmingly-White congregation, but the reasons for doing so are respectful, and yes, it works well for a variety of groups when times are genuinely hard, as they are for many now).
DeleteMiniature golf, hot-tubbing, and lemon drizzle cake all sound like excellent responses to the combined stresses of the moment (which, sadly, are considerable).
Glad that getting the manuscript in on deadline seems doable. Given everything that you have going on, that's impressive.
Even though I'm very much a word (and song) person, my go-to in difficult times is to get outside, either to walk in a natural area (I'm especially fond of canal towpaths) or to garden. Nothing seems to work as well as that.
ReplyDeleteGoals for last week:
--Lead study leave related group discussion for which I’ve been preparing.
Done; went well
--Hold planning meeting with leader for next month’s discussion.
Done
--Follow up as necessary on emails I wrote last week & anything else that arises from discussion I’m leading; answer one that’s been sitting in my inbox for way too long.
All except the way-too-long one done; of course now there are others.
--Write email sharing plan for study leave project with leaders of organization on which it focuses.
Drafted; revision in progress.
--Do at least rough planning re: what I can realistically get done between now and the end of the semester, and what I will do when.
Begun by reminding myself of the core deliverables I’ve promised. Prioritizing activities seems more possible than figuring out exactly how long they will take, since there are a lot of variables involved, so that may be the best approach. I’ll keep thinking about this; setting weekly goals here while keeping priorities in mind may work as well as anything.
--Start log for study leave project & related activities.
Done.
--Check on fellowships/institutes to which I might apply; make plans to apply if appropriate.
A bit of thought/investigation, but not really.
--Visit local site with tangential link to Study Leave project.
Decided not to this week.
--Lift weights 3x; walk as weather allows, including one new route if possible; experiment at least once with hall-walking/stair climbing in apt building.
Lifted weights 2x; walked a few times (no new route); did some hall-walking/stair climbing (which is, indeed, a good cold/icy weather option).
--Begin work on establishing a bedtime routine, including screens off two hours before lights out and a wind-down activity such as reading, listening to something, and/or handwork (probably mending for the moment) (this may be tough because of evening (online) meetings, but should become more possible later in the week, so at least make a start).
Made a start, but just.
--Pack up & mail some packages (mixture of returns & gifts for family members I didn’t see over Christmas)
No.
Reflection: as anticipated, last week was a bit more fragmented than I’d like. In addition, I live in the metropolitan area where a certain Big National Event, mentioned by Julie in this week’s introduction, was taking place, and the combination of cold weather and out-of-town visitors to the area I’d rather not run into (they were presumably in a better mood this time, but a little over 4 years ago a subset of the same group did things like stockpiling weapons in local hotel rooms and rendezvousing in neighborhood parks, not to mention the activities downtown for which they’ve recently been pardoned, all of which left a less-than-positive impression) has had me inclined to hunkering down/hibernation (and concern about running into them played a role in deciding not to visit the local historic site, though I’m also concerned that those in charge could come under pressure to change the parts of the interpretation in which I’m most interested, so I should go soon).
DeleteSo I’m still trying to get into study-leave rhythm. But the group discussion did go well (and now I need to resist the temptation to hare off after that project, which is only tangentially related to the main study leave project) and I did manage a variety of physical activity, indoors and out, and got a few small house projects done (but not the packing and mailing I meant to do).
Goals for this week:
Delete--Set up site to hold study leave project documents; create tracking spreadsheet for documents; add at least one document to site.
--Finish & send email to local-organization leaders
--Answer long-neglected email (I’ll probably see the author at an event on Saturday, so that’s an incentive)
--Figure out a relatively quick way to figure out whether fellowship application makes sense (I think probably not, at least this year, but it might be worth an hour or two’s investigation of the catalog of the relevant archive); write application and solicit letter of support if so
--If time, check out institute possibilities and schedule application-writing if relevant (this could wait for a week or two)
--Keep moving: lift weights 3x and walk and/or climb stairs regularly as weather allows.
--Continue trying to figure out workable daily/weekly routines, starting with establishing an end of day/bedtime routine.
-- Pack up & mail packages (mixture of returns & gifts for family members I didn’t see over Christmas)
There is definitely a downside to being in a place where national news is taking place. And some of those visiting your locale are ones I would definitely avoid. I hope things quiet down after yesterday's "festivities". And good luck on the routine -- I think it's always a struggle when we go from the crowded life of teaching to leave.
Delete