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Sunday 22 January 2023

2023 Session 1 Week 3: Routine happiness

I am writing this looking out my kitchen window at a very sparkly world. We got the first decent snow of the year, and everything is fluffy and white and lovely. Winter has its charms! I loved everyone’s good things from last week, and I have to say that reading all the comments and discussion was a lovely good thing for me during the week too, it was just so nice to see everyone!

This was my third week of doing yoga every day, in an attempt to do a 100-day streak and I have been noticing some things about it that made me want to ask everybody about something! So, pardon the navel-gazing start to this.... It has not been hard to fit in because for the first few weeks I set the bar pretty low – all I need is a 20 -minute session. So that’s fine. But, in the process I’ve been doing different classes with different people, and I’ve discovered something about myself that surprised me. Apparently I hate variety when it comes to yoga classes! I want them to go in a specific order and it really bothers me when they don’t. In my brain we have to start with warm-up, then sun salutations, then balance, then floor etc. and the day someone started with pidgeon pose I was downright cranky!

This surprised me because in most other areas of my life I cannot stand doing the same thing over and over. Having the same lunch (or dinners) more than 2 days in a row sends me straight to the vending machine for chips… I don’t like doing the same running route all the time. I buy my beer in mix-n-match variety packs. I don’t like doing the same work tasks all the time. Same with books and entertainment – I cannot stand the recommendation algorithms which send “these books/music/movies are similar to ones you liked” so I usually try to turn them off, or at least fight with them by clicking on all kinds of random things to expand the recommendations…

But yet, there are some things when predictability and repetition is comforting. I like my weekly schedule that is repetitive, I love the annual cycles of the academic world, I have some books that I read basically once a year and know them so well I can probably copy them out word by word… When my kid was little our routines were pretty set, but also soothing and efficient but I cannot imagine going back to that. So not an all or nothing proposition.

So, if you feel so inclined, tell us about areas in your life and work where predictability is a friend, and where it is an unwelcome interloper! And keeping with our theme of good things, do you have any routines, big or little, that make you happy? I really want to hear about those!

Goals for everyone below, have at it!

Daisy

PAPER EDITS!!!!! DUE!!!!! MUST DO!!!!!
Read students’ thesis chapters
Edit three student abstracts for upcoming conference
Order last big piece of new lab gear
DO THE PAPER EDITS!!!!!

Dame Eleanor Hull

- finish writing syllabuses for two classes
- finish setting up VILE sites for two classes
- write at least a couple of assignments for each class
- finish reviewing last set of applications from grad students
- check proofs for book review
- prep for dead language group
- set up poll for writing group meeting time
- work on revisions to the essay I wrote last fall
- find a time to meet with dissertators
- install grow lights for indoor plants

heu mihi

1. Take notes on B books (there are two of them)
2. 10 hours on ch. 3 (research and writing)
3. Read book for review; take notes; if really ambitious, draft review
4. Process journal article
5. Run x 3, yoga x 2, sit x 5
6. Fun things: Read for fun; play new card games with kid; see Brother and SIL and their kids on Saturday
7. Start foreign language improvement program (of my own very loose design)...actually, first I should design said program....

JaneB

1) self-care: acknowledge that the windows thing is going to be stressful and disruptive, and be kind to myself. Which might this week involve some takeaways and will definitely involve spreading work out over five days rather than the official four, to make space for other stuff.
1a) environment: book another appointment with the Declutterer for February, do the window prep things early in the week and undo them a little after it's (hopefully) done...
2) R - do something concrete towards the teaching-related R project, three research emails I need to properly answer (with associated Other Tasks, sigh)
3) T - mark the first year essays that arrived this week. Finalise who is teaching what for the first year module I'm leading. finish putting in the the ViLe structure, and aim to put up first week materials too
4) read a bit; write some rather overdue thank you letters; play D&D.

Julie

Try to keep some time free for writing on Thursday & Friday.
Teaching prep for busy week the week after, but see previous point
Meet with PhD students
Book at least some of trip planned for Easter.
Self-care - haircut, pilates, walking, read, journal.

Karen

-have week 2 & 3 of VILE content done minus a/v
-KL draft to 4000 words
-one yoga class, final beach swim for this trip

Susan

1. Get through at least one chapter of revisions.
2. Try to clear out some email
3. Enjoy my time in beautiful library land, hang with friends
4. Try to keep active.

28 comments:

  1. Well I already blathered on about surprises from routines, but I did think of a few other things that sort of count in the “routines that make me happy” category! Making morning coffee for me and the two faculty I with whom I share a lab is a lovely one – coffee and a quick help and check-in every day, it doesn’t take long but is so pleasant. And apparently on days when I’m not around they miss me so that’s nice to hear… Also, I was surprised to find this Christmas that the idea of not putting up a tree really bothered me because I’m not really a big Christmas person. But when partner said it was too much trouble with all the construction and cats and general chaos it bugged me so I put up the top half of our artificial tree and put it on the kitchen counter all decorated and it was sparkly and cheerful and I enjoyed it. Another little routine, playing wordle and worldle (yep the extra l is a different game with geography instead of words) with my kid every morning, takes 2 minutes but amuses us greatly…

    Paper edits are getting their own paragraph! They are done, I sent it off to the coauthors today… All I really need from them at this point is permission to submit, we can deal with fiddly things after review, there are always lots of things to do!
    They were not “edits”… They were not even really “revisions”… It was basically a complete rewrite. Maybe that was why I was delaying working on it, I know once I peeked under to lid it would release a flock of all kinds of demons! It now has a completely revised text, new figures, even some new analyses, and a bunch of new photographs. I still trying to get some photos out of one of the co-authors but if I don’t get them it is no huge deal, can add them after review because I am betting the reviewers will ask for them.
    It also comes with a happy story about karma… The editor for the volume is someone I know a little, but not very well, and for the big conference last year I did a huge amount of work to help them organize and administer their giant symposium. It went well beyond regular conference stuff and was a lot of work that I did not have to do and really didn’t have time to do, but did anyway because I wanted to help people I really respect. So, when I asked for an extension to the already extended submission deadline they said so “we remember how much work you did for our session, don’t worry about the deadline, we’ll take it next week whenever you can”. Service work is karma, building up good relationships takes work and sometimes it is unrewarded at the time, but the relationships last and the good will gets reciprocated!

    It also comes with a cautionary tale – I spent so much time this week gripping a mouse and scrolling and making figures that I developed a major hand spasm and pretty painful tendon issues. So I went to physio, and have lots of exercises to do and I’ve had to switch my mouse to being left-handed so I’m doing everything with my left hand to give the right hand a break. It is mostly working, just slower and a bit more awkward…

    Last week’s goals
    PAPER EDITS!!!!! DUE!!!!! MUST DO!!!!! DONE!!!!!
    Read students’ thesis chapters DID THE READING, NOT ENOUGH COMMENTING
    Edit three student abstracts for upcoming conference DONE
    Order last big piece of new lab gear DONE

    This week’s goals
    Submit giant paper when it comes back from co-authors
    Read and comment on students’ thesis chapters
    Do organizing and scheduling for upcoming conference
    Set up new thesis student with office and material
    Read some of the new 8 library books that appeared off my hold list this week…
    Do ALL my physio exercises all the time…

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    1. Well done on the paper! And the karma story is lovely - so nice to think that service does sometimes get rewarded. Hope the hand gets better soon.

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    2. Congrats on the paper but much empathetic wincing about the hand issues - I did maps for my PhD with manual digitising (old person) and I did not like it so I did it all in one batch over about three weeks. When my right hand hurt too much I swapped over to the left and got it done... and I still over 30 years later have a repetitive strain injury which flares up sometimes in both hands (it's a lot better than it was - at it's worst I couldn't lift a full coffee mug without pain, I was drinking everything in half cups). Be gentle with them!! And I hope you have a much faster recovery than I did/have/am having!

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    3. Yay on finishing the revisions/rewrite! And sorry about the wrist issues. For me when I'm at my computer too long it's my back...

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    4. I hope it's a relief to get the edits done! And how nice that your hard work is rewarded by consideration from others, instead of further exploitation! Yay indeed!

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  2. No snow here, though there was some last week, but yesterday there was a very hard frost and a beautiful winter sky - no clouds, gorgeous light and colours at dawn and sunset. It's bitterly cold, but invigorating. I like the prompt. Like you, I hate predictability with food: I can't stand the same sandwich lunch every day, so having different leftovers or batches of soup in the freezer so I can mix things up is really important. But I really need predictability with our weekly schedule: which kid needs to be where when, and any change to that throws me. I like my Sunday morning routine - leisurely breakfast, usually with eggs, read a paper, go for a run, listen to a podcast. And the rhythm of the seasons, like you.

    Last week
    Try to keep some time free for writing on Thursday & Friday. - YES, on Thursday I wrote. And have more or less finished the article I was working on - just tedious formatting of tables and graphs and checking I meet the style guide rules
    Teaching prep for busy week the week after, but see previous point - YES, but finished over this weekend because of writing.
    Meet with PhD students - Yes with one, the other cancelled.
    Book at least some of trip planned for Easter. - YES - have some trains booked and one AirBnB near Sorrento. Plan is 2 weeks in Italy by train, just need to figure out other stops.
    Self-care - haircut, pilates, walking, read, journal. - YES to all but the walking

    This week
    I have 15 hours of lectures and seminars, plus three meetings with dissertation students, and two office hours (which hopefully no one will show up to). So there is going to be minimal time for anything else...
    Survive teaching!
    Read drafts of dissertation chapters before meeting students
    Revise one of the lectures.
    Organise food for son's birthday celebration
    Bake birthday cake
    Self-care - try to get out for walks even if only 10-15 minutes, theatre trip with friend.

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    1. A lot of yes! :-) excellent!

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    2. Great that the paper is in the final stages! That was a big win in a busy week.
      The two weeks in Italy plan sounds wonderful!

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    3. The coming week sounds *hard*. Good luck! I like the idea of short walks. But great work on finishing the paper. I hate going to the style guide stuff because my brain shuts down.

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    4. I think we're all looking forward vicariously to your Italian trip! And that's a week with a lot of YES.

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  3. So, routines. This one is hard for me, and I have a new understanding of why because of the neuroatypical stuff (this is likely to keep coming up because it's really on my mind, so do please feel free to skip!) - I love creating routines, and I like things which flow and cycle and traditions, but in practice I never ever stick with things, and I feel really trapped by full diaries and scheduled weeks and repetition - guess what, in general autistic people thrive on routine and ADHD people cannot get on with them because they crave variety and novelty, so dual-diagnosis types like I think I am tend to wildly oscillate between them and feel uncomfortable whichever place they are in. Delightful! But also very familiar.

    I like the yearly cycle and the daily cycle, but I live in the UK where the cycle is less tidy/predictable. When I lived in part of North America where there were periods of months when the weather was solidly in one state, with more interesting variation at the switchovers (spring and fall) but that only lasted about a month each time, I actually found the predictability made me miserable - and bored with all my weather-appropriate clothes! Which feels ironic as three decades later JaneB has a nice reliable uniform of clothing with minor colour variations and just more or fewer layers/different fabrics at different points, and hates how clothing companies change their stuff every few months because all now-JaneB wants is to replace stuff that wears out with the same stuff....

    I tend to like one set of foods and eat them for weeks then completely switch up (usually after I just bought an extra quantity of ingredients). I used to like having a regular academic timetable - that was just enough structure for everything else to oscillate around - but here at Northern Uni we just don't have that - timetabling never manages a consistent pattern even if I'm teaching solo with a standard pattern (e.g. 2 x 2 hour per week will STILL end up being at different times/in different places over the course of the trimester), and on top of that we mostly teach in teams so are in and out of the module in different weeks (which makes life hard for the timetabling team).

    Before COVID for the last few trimesters I'd got myself into a routine of four days of about 10 hours a day on campus, where I did just about all my work, and three "off" (i.e. normally about another day of work from home on research/email, spread across those three days). But I can't seem to get back to the point where I can do that - and I don't WANT to until I feel things are lot safer in terms of COVID etc. And I'm not sure that it was actually a GOOD or SUSTAINABLE routine, it was regularly interrupted by a couple of weeks to a month of sick leave due to my special viral-attracting talents and laryngitis-prone-ness!

    So... like the theory but can't make it work for me? Partly I think this is a luxury of living alone - no one else around me has or needs routines which I have to fit in - Fluffball is a very tolerant cat, he'll eat whenever there is food!

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    1. LAST WEEK:

      1) self-care: acknowledge that the windows thing is going to be stressful and disruptive, and be kind to myself. Which might this week involve some takeaways and will definitely involve spreading work out over five days rather than the official four, to make space for other stuff. it was stressful and is still being disruptive - someone is coming Monday to finish off a few bits. I tried to be kind to myself! I overate, but it happens when I'm stressed...
      1a) environment: book another appointment with the Declutterer for February, do the window prep things early in the week and undo them a little after it's (hopefully) done... yes, yes and so far I've... well, partially re-set-up my desk? so a teeny bit!
      2) R - do something concrete towards the teaching-related R project, three research emails I need to properly answer (with associated Other Tasks, sigh) No and partly. Too much stress. I answered two of the emails I think?
      3) T - mark the first year essays that arrived this week. Finalise who is teaching what for the first year module I'm leading. finish putting in the the ViLe structure, and aim to put up first week materials too Yes, Yes, mostly and not even started - aargh!
      4) read a bit; write some rather overdue thank you letters; play D&D. read a tiny bit, wrote the letters (in the last couple of hours - next challenge to get them into the post!), no D&D as there are Evil Deadlines around for coursework for students at colleges and universities apparently!

      THE COMING WEEK'S GOALS
      The coming week - well, it's the last before the new trimester, we have an Away Day, and I'm feeling a very powerful urge to call out sick and stay in bed all week (with lots of short wanders to shut up the painful hip which is substantially worse this week thanks to getting really cold and doing too much sitting when the windows were fitted - it was around freezing all day outside and the house was open for nearly eleven hours and one of the workers managed to knock into the thermostat and loosen a battery so the heating wasn't even trying to help and I was basically trying to keep out of their way and I got awkward and anyway, OWWW. VERY OWWW. Which is totally not making me even more stressed out about the away day than I was due to all the COVID stuff and the Being Around Lots Of People In An Unfamiliar Setting stuff and the whole "I totally hate Away Days because they have always involved bad news or people getting upset with each other or being told I'm wrong about something and long talks where one has to keep the right expression and, oh lord, I am SO out of practice at everything else involved in being in a roomful of people who don't really want to be there for anything other than social reasons (but who are mostly not my friends)). GAH!

      1) self-care: this week is going to be stressful. Be kind to myself.
      1a) environment: do the small chores this week, and aim to hoover/sweep every floor surface once (there's still dust and stuff from the windows, since they aren't quite finished until tomorrow...)
      2) R - do something concrete towards the teaching-related R project, respond to the email that asked for money information, respond to the email about the conference session in March.
      3) T - mark the third year essays that arrived this week (lots of same, sigh). Get first week materials onto all the ViLEs.
      4) read a bit; post the letters; play D&D.

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    2. Glad the windows are almost done! I hope they finish up the last bits quickly so it doesn't drag on more than necessary.
      I vote for skipping the away day. There are enough stressful things going on that one more doesn't seem wise!

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    3. I echo Daisy on not going on the away day! I've slowly replaced all the windows in my house, and it's awful. But the result is good.

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    4. If it were me I would be so relieved to have a sensible explanation of why the push/pull w/r/t routine vs novelty, even if it's not much help in practical terms. Or maybe it could be? This bit is for my ADHD side, this other bit for autistic me? I hope by now the windows are finished off and that you are going to let yourself skip the away day, which sounds like no fun at all. You've done some stuff, so you're nibbling away at the things that need to get done.

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  4. Hm! I have many routines, and I do generally like them. I especially like the bedtime routine (getting on pajamas at around 8-8:30, plugging in the nightlight in the bathroom, tidying up the kitchen and living room). It's like putting the house to bed, which I find soothing. I also like some of the details of the waking-up-the-house routine: unplugging the nightlight, opening my son's blinds, gazing out the bedroom window for thirty seconds or so, just to see what's out there.

    I think that, in general, routines please me. I'm also not averse to repetition (re-watching a favorite show, for instance). Or, if there's a lunch I really like, I'll happily eat it all week (but will need something new the next week). I also tend to order the same things at restaurants--so I want to go to a particular restaurant because I want a particular dish--which is nice but also a little frustrating, because sometimes I want to try other dishes, but what if they aren't as good as my favorite??? You get the idea.

    Last week:
    Son only had school for three days (Monday was a holiday, Friday a scheduled day off), but I still did pretty well.
    1. Take notes on B books (there are two of them)
    Yes. This didn't take very long. Lesson learned.
    2. 10 hours on ch. 3 (research and writing)
    9 hours--but the last 2.5 were *really* productive, so I feel as though I met my goal here.
    3. Read book for review; take notes; if really ambitious, draft review
    I read just over half the book.
    4. Process journal article
    Yes, to the extent possible; waiting to hear back from prospective reviewers.
    5. Run x 3, yoga x 2, sit x 5
    x2, x2, x5. I decided to take Friday off from running because my body felt tired.
    6. Fun things: Read for fun; play new card games with kid; see Brother and SIL and their kids on Saturday
    YES, did all of this, including the outing with Bro et al., which involved three hours of driving and two museums. Whew!
    7. Start foreign language improvement program (of my own very loose design)...actually, first I should design said program....
    Sort of? I mean, the book that I ordered arrived, and I spent a little time on like two days reading it. Now I need to be a little more disciplined.

    This week:
    1. 10 hours on ch. 3
    2. Finish book and draft review
    3. Language x 5 (15 minutes a day is fine for now)
    4. Admin: Complete university credit card application, work out some travel plans for two trips in May
    5. Routines: Sit x 5, yoga x 1 or 2, run x 3
    6. Fun: Cook at least 3 things, play some games, schedule lunch with former grad student

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    1. Comment below was supposed to be reply to yours obviously... do not feel like logging in and moving it now!

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    2. That sounds like an excellent week! Glad to hear the research started moving really well, as that's always an energizing feeling. It is educational seeing how much a list-oriented person gets done!

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  5. That was an awesome week! Writing and language and fun and more!
    Totally get the restaurant favourites thing! Favourites become favourites for good reasons and sometimes messing with that just causes disappointment... That is how I am feeling about the yoga classes... I want to try new ones but if they are disappointing I feel like I wasted the time a bit.

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    1. Oddly enough, though, I like variety in my yoga classes...! I went to an Ashtanga studio one summer, where it was the exact same (quite challenging) routine every day, and I didn't like it because I always knew when the things that I didn't like or found difficult were coming! (But maybe it was just the Ashtanga thing that I didn't like.)

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    2. Brains are fascinating! I love hearing about how other people's work!

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  6. Hmmm. Routines. I live alone, so there are some routines, but no pressure from anyone except the cats to follow one. My husband was very routine oriented, and when he died, it took me a year to find my own way: I literally didn't know what I wanted to eat when. With foods, I have two or three different breakfasts that I tend to eat for some time at a stretch: we're currently in the grapefruit season, because the tree has an abundance of grapefruits and I can't bear to waste them! I also have a set of solitaire games and wordle that I do when I wake up. With yoga classes, I don't have a preference for a certain order, but I have strong opinions about classes I do and don't like.
    One routine that makes me happy is that when I go to bed, the cats both generally get up on the bed and come to have a conversation. It's very comforting!

    Last week:
    1. Get through at least one chapter of revisions. YES
    2. Try to clear out some email YES
    3. Enjoy my time in beautiful library land, hang with friends YES
    4. Try to keep active. YES
    It was a good week, and I felt good about my work on the chapter, and I have an argument for the next chapter. It was great to see friends, and my brother & family, so all good. A lot of driving though! I even made plane reservations for my pleasure trip for the Camino, as well as a big conference being held in March in an exotic locale...


    Goals for this week:
    1. Comments on 3 more draft chapters of Big Collaboration
    2. Get going on revisions to the last chapter. I think I can do them in a few days of focused work, but I need to spend those days.
    3. Financial stuff for overseas
    4. Do something fun
    5. Keep working out

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    1. What a lot of YES in that week! I'm glad work is going well, and that you had a good time at Beautiful Library.

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    2. Definitely an excellent week! With some beauty and good people time and everything! Hope the revisions come together well this week.
      Cat routines are the best, that is a lovely way to wind down for an evening...

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  7. What an interesting question for this week! I'm a little like JaneB, in that I struggle with repetition/variety. I tend to think of it as a combination of being a perfectionist (so if the routine slips it's All Ruined) and a rebel (ain't nobody tell me what to do not even me!), but I think considering in what ways routine is *comforting* could be really helpful. I eat pretty much the same things day in and day out, because they're what keeps my gut happy and therefore what allows me to sleep reasonably well. I like feeling that there are particular times that I have allotted to work on tasks like evaluating graduate applications, so I can put them off till those times and spend "better" hours on class prep and research. Sometimes changing everything up really appeals to me, or helps me break a habit. As I wrote about chez moi, my teaching schedule this term is all afternoon/evening classes, as are meetings, so I can sleep late; and since I'm totally off caffeine and trying to spend ten hours a night in bed (the post-Covid fatigue just hangs on), I'm now in bed midnight-ten, rather than 10-6 or 11-7, and that feels like a big shift to my routine. My quiet time is in the evening rather than early morning now, and I'm not spending as much time on the internet.

    How I did:
    - finish writing syllabuses for two classes: YES for some value of "finished"--still tinkering with the grad readings
    - finish setting up VILE sites for two classes. NO. SO MUCH still to do here. But again, they are at least present for the basics.
    - write at least a couple of assignments for each class. ONE EACH.
    - finish reviewing last set of applications from grad students. YES.
    - check proofs for book review. YES.
    - prep for dead language group. YES.
    - set up poll for writing group meeting time. YES.
    - work on revisions to the essay I wrote last fall. YES.
    - find a time to meet with dissertators. YES.
    - install grow lights for indoor plants. NO (but I did buy hooks and drywall screws, so that's a start).

    New goals:
    - finish revisions to F article
    - make more progress with grad readings and both VILE sites
    - read at least 500 lines of Irrelevant Romance
    - scan stuff for grads
    - write a letter of recommendation
    - write up my annual review documents
    - put up the grow lights
    - pay a bill, do some other Life Task

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    1. That is a pretty good week for getting things done! Hope the rest of the VILE set-up goes quickly... I always resent doing that so it is a huge relief when it is over.
      I feel the same about certain times of the day/week being good for particular tasks - using the really good hours for the maximum value tasks feels better than frittering it away on little things. I usually have an hour or so a day for "make many small tasks go away" and that kind of thing is good for an hour between classes, or a late afternoon when brain is already winding down.
      Hope the post-COVID fatigue starts lifting soon. Hearing from lots of people that the only thing to do is sleep enough and wait for it to go away.

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  8. Late entry, so I'll report against goals next week. But I liked this prompt so much I really didn't want to let it slip by.
    I find I'm the keeper of other people's routines as I'm the one who mostly manages the day to day of kid's activities and care/feeding etc. So I do appreciate the value of routines in providing structure, predictability, and a certain amount of auto-pilot. Like heu mihi, I do also value the domestic routines of putting the house to sleep and waking it up, which also fits in some of the animals, garden and fermentation routines.

    But like JaneB, I also am fascinated by, but struggle with, my own routines. I'd love to make habits like exercise, creative work, and private writing stick, but attempts usually fizzle out within a week or so. I'm wondering now about trying to think about routines in shorter burst - this season, term or, month - or even mini-seasons of two weeks that I read about somewhere.
    Yoga classes are one of my few routines that have stuck, and I find it interesting that I do like to stick with the same teachers because I know what to expect in how they structure their classes. Interesting to think about as the teaching semester nears and I think about what will suit students for their learning routines.


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    1. Thanks for checking in! Glad the prompt resonated... That is interesting about class structuring, I have not really thought about that aspect of routine, but it does make sense that it would have an effect.
      I also appreciate the domestic people wrangling routines, it helps to have some things set up to be almost automatic.
      Your comment about shorter bursts of routine made me think of a comment I read from someone's time management blog - she says that for planning and routines doing something consistently three times a week counts as a habit. Her point is one does not have to do everything every day to count it as habit or routines, and her suggestion is to try anything three times a week and see if it sticks better over the long term than trying to be strict about frequency and distribution during the week. Also mentions that weekends count, if you do something once during the week and twice over a weekend that is still 3 times and will be a habit over the long term if you want it to be... That really helped with how to think about exercise for me, took some of the pressure off the weekdays!

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